botb
03.25.24 | 3 rips, check tannhauser gate if you haven’t. Hope you feel better for real |
JohnnyoftheWell
03.25.24 | 7 is a zinger, peep Aki Takase - Minerva's Owl and hang in there |
evilford
03.25.24 | Hang in there man. I've been in a similar space mentally and it does suck. |
Wildcardbitchesss
03.25.24 | I’ll say this, dropping out of college substantially improved my mental health. It’s not for everyone, and going through another four years of school just after finishing the hell that was high school just seemed like a massive commitment to something I wasn’t even sure I wanted.
I’ve never told anyone this before (at least I don’t think I have, the bottle had a mean hold over me for a while, don’t go down that rabbit hole), but one day my family was visiting Seattle. I was 19 at the time. Working a full time job and being a full time student, it was just such a massive drain on me both physically and mentally. My mom and brother went to go grab us dinner while I chilled in the hotel room.
I stepped out onto the ledge and let my feet dangle for a little while. I thought about my mom and how she’d react, how it would destroy her. I thought about my friends, I thought about everything. Every connection I’d made in life, how all of that would be gone in an instant. How there are people in this world that are far worse off than I am, and how they would kill to be in my position. I felt selfish and ashamed. So I stepped back inside before they came back.
This probably isn’t the healthiest way of thinking about life, but the way I see it, I need to at least outlive my mother. After everything she’s done for me, raised two children on her own with not a lot of money. It would be extremely shitty to put her through that kind of pain. And hey, maybe it’ll get better.
That was seven years ago. Went through a tough spell where I was drinking all night and day, landed myself into detox a few times, but I came out the other side a better man. I’m still a sad sack, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t feel better about things. Having said all that, I don’t think that feeling ever goes away. But I think as you get older you learn how to cope with it more effectively.
Just think about the people in your life that you love. At worst, you’re living for them, and it just wouldn’t be right to put them through that kind of traumatic experience. I know multiple people who have checked out early. It completely destroys families, friend groups, and whatever potentially good things you may have in front of you.
Just take it one day at a time. I’m so sorry that it feels like your mind is a prison. It can be a very scary place. But you’re not alone, friend. And Christ man, we’re in our 20’s. Let’s at least see what our 30’s have in store for us before making any rash decisions. |
Wildcardbitchesss
03.25.24 | I don’t know you well but I love you man. Keep your head up. |
Faraudo
03.25.24 | I just turned 31 a month ago and I can honestly say that it gets better, fellas. 20s are an absolute whirlwind on which we believe we know everything, but we know shit. Also, everyone keeps telling us that we need to "make it" in life before 30, which is complete bullshit. We all have a different pace, a different overview of life, etc. There isn't a single set of rules to live by, just try to find your balance and what works for you. That's what 20's are for.
I majored in architecture then I realized it's not the thing I want to do for the rest of my life after studying for god knows how many years. I retired from it and took a completely different career path by the time I was 29. All that shit would've qualified as an absolute failure for 23-year-old me, but now I realize that I had to go through all that and be wiser to do better in life.
So like I said hang in there, things will get better. |
Wildcardbitchesss
03.25.24 | [2]
It sounds corny but run your own race, you’ll drive yourself crazy thinking about the guy 100 meters ahead when you should really just focus on caring for yourself.
I’m not sure if this is the route you wanna take, I personally am not on any SSRI’s, the side effects got to be too much, but I know they do wonders for some people. If you have decent insurance, you should definitely consider speaking with a psychiatrist. Mine has helped me, and shit, maybe helped keep me alive. |
Trebor.
03.25.24 | My man I was in the psych ward. Shit can get better |
JayEnder
03.25.24 | Been there, but always remember that life can turn around quick. Never give up, and for God's sake never be afraid to talk to someone. As men we have this ridiculous stigma that we're not allowed to cry or show emotion otherwise we are "lesser" or weak, but we're human too and we are allowed to have insecurities and be emotional just as anyone else should.
SSRIs are dangerous business, I know they work wonders for some people but they practically ruined my life and turned me into an emotionless zombie for a few years. Dark times that I will never remember fondly. Getting off that shit was the best decision I've ever made, as hard as it was dealing with the withdrawals I made it though and finally feel human again.
Then again, everyone's brain chemistry is wired differently so take my experience with a grain of salt. They can work if you find the right one for you. |
Storm In A Teacup
03.25.24 | Bro! Im glad to see you! Have strength and fight sonoma!!! |
Avagantamos
03.25.24 | stay strong brother, glad you're still with us. I was in your shoes 10 years ago. your opening statement just reminded me that being in the psych ward after that was the last time I regularly ate 3 meals a day lol. thinking about it now I could do a lot better about that, uhh never forget about food I guess! |
bighubbabuddha
03.25.24 | Hold on dude, be kind to yourself, you are a great person even if you don't believe it just this moment, hugs |
MO
03.25.24 | wishing you all the best bro. if you need to chat shoot me a message. keep your head up and try and attack every day as best you can. incremental, small victories. the world is better with you in it |
Dedes
03.25.24 | God bless ya brother. Remember you are the sole purpose who can repurpose the road ahead even if the pressure is immense and the world around you turns dull and gray. Good luck I believe in u!!! |
GiaNXGX
03.25.24 | Been there, things get better & lol yes the food is good, so much so when I got out all I could eat was junk food to get a taste for food again. The amount of drama one puts through inside a psyche ward (roomies, sedation, having nurses strip you naked and wear diapers the first day you get in, isolation chamber etc) is a good alibi to never go there again, it’s like its own private society with its own hierarchy and rules. I’m one for the anti-psychiatry movement in straying from nominalist cognitivism and its generalizing ills, not all treatment is bad though. |
insomniac15
03.25.24 | Wish you nothing but the best man. Take it step by step and try to do what makes you relax and feel good, even if it's the most meaningless boring thing. |
bigmusicfan1989
03.25.24 | No SSRIs almost ruined me as well!!! ;-; i hope ur much better much love tacobellman |
Beardog
03.25.24 | Stay strong my dude, you're worth it. Props for sharing the tough situation. |
Wildcardbitchesss
03.25.24 | “As men we have this ridiculous stigma that we're not allowed to cry or show emotion otherwise we are "lesser" or weak, but we're human too and we are allowed to have insecurities and be emotional just as anyone else should.”
Jay is fucking unbelievably based with this take, but a lot of guys interpret this and the whole “toxic masculinity” thing the total wrong way. Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson types will hear that buzzword and immediately just blame women, when in reality most of them want an emotionally mature man who isn’t afraid to show vulnerability and be open about their feelings.
Guys do it to themselves, and idc if it’s woke or whatever but we should call out that kinda behavior whenever we see it in our friends. We only make it harder for each other when we should be building one another up. |
TheSonomaDude
03.26.24 | There are so many kind words here...words that I wish I could've heard a long time ago. So many stories, so many thoughts and emotions. Don't get me choked up, sput, don't do it! :')
Wildcard, I went through a similar situation a few years ago. I'm very thankful you typed it for us because it resonates more than you may ever know from me. I struggle with BPD and that makes things a lot harder for me. My brain jumps to a lot of conclusions without really having a reason to.
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TheSonomaDude
03.26.24 | All of you guys, really. I gotta take the time to respond to each and every one of you, holy shit guys |
efp123
03.26.24 | Been there too unfortunately. I will check your band, and envy the good food you had even though I think you’re messing around. In all seriousnes, I’m glad you’re alive and well. What an experience huh. Peace be with you |
efp123
03.26.24 | I also do share the sentiment that listening to music also does make things in fact worse. It does bring pain in a way. If I don’t listen to music I usually have a better day. Sucks admitting that, but I definitely mean it |
ConcubinaryCode
03.26.24 | I had the same experience about 7 years ago, left a really bad impression with me but also some clarity. Things are better for me now, just know you are in control of you. Nothing comes easy but time does help and just keep looking forward to something or anything that grabs your interest. Take things when you're ready for them too. Remember how stubborn the brain is too |
Faraudo
03.26.24 | "There are so many kind words here...words that I wish I could've heard a long time ago. So many stories, so many thoughts and emotions. Don't get me choked up, sput, don't do it! :')"
We can all be opinionated dicks sometimes, but in the end, we care about this small, weird community of ours.
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Wildcardbitchesss
03.26.24 | Yeah to anyone that I say inflammatory shit to here, know this: I really only hate like two or three users on this website. Any time I trash you or your opinions im just shooting the shit because im bored. It’s literally the way I talk to my friends in real life lol |
robertsona
03.26.24 | I went to one for a week in early 2020 before COVID and have been in the hospital before. Wanted to show solidarity or whatever but I also have tips for later on… |
Faraudo
03.27.24 | "Yeah to anyone that I say inflammatory shit to here, know this: I really only hate like two or three users on this website. Any time I trash you or your opinions im just shooting the shit because im bored. It’s literally the way I talk to my friends in real life lol"
Same, people question me and my best friend all the time, asking if we hate each other because of the way we banter lol, so I get the feeling. But that's not important, the thing is that we're here for each other in times of need, even if I sound like an asshole at times.
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JerseyJimmy
03.28.24 | I know we've never really interacted, if ever, but I really feel for what you're going through. not sure what I can really say, but feel free to reach out if you wanna talk. |
Slex
03.28.24 | Love you bud, hope you got some nice grippy socks and some clarity from the situation |
