evilford
11.14.23 | List equals digs mfers |
evilford
11.14.23 | List is good albums |
evilford
11.14.23 | Boy am I gettin drunk tonight |
SomeCallMeTim
11.14.23 | workin overtime at the fudge factory |
pizzamachine
11.14.23 | 2 much school bus driving |
evilford
11.14.23 | 2 much working at the office. Gotta give me a fucking break
My roommate thought it was insane that they expected me to come back |
Spec
11.14.23 | That’s because it IS insane for them to expect you to come back. Obviously somebody who just shit their pants isn’t doing well on that particular day. |
evilford
11.14.23 | I'm just used to subjugation i guess |
bellovddd
11.14.23 | smelly bum |
evilford
11.14.23 | Not anymore I took a shower |
Spec
11.14.23 | I was in emergency once and my job was like “okay you can come in two hours late but you need to come in.” Like “I’m actually dying at the moment but thanks anyways.” |
ThyCrossAwaits
11.14.23 | Gutalax…?
But in all seriousness check out Electrocution - Inside the Unreal |
MoM
11.14.23 | Sorry that happened, man! Great list! Brings the digs |
SomeCallMeTim
11.14.23 | Type O Negative - The Origin Of Feces |
evilford
11.14.23 | @thycross, I've heard that one, one of my faves!
@spec, that sounds like a reasonable exchange on ur behalf
@mom thanks!
@tim I did jam some type o on a car trip over the weekend |
normaloctagon
11.14.23 | Happens to the best of us m8 |
Sharenge
11.14.23 | I feel like if shitting yourself got you the day off, everybody would be doing it |
normaloctagon
11.14.23 | Shartenge |
evilford
11.14.23 | I am now being made to stay an hour late
Because I left for an hour
To shower and change after shitting my pants
You can't make this shit up folks
Muricah |
FrozenFirebug
11.14.23 | my favorite sick at work memory is carrying a couch over my head, projectile vomiting two little caesar's pizzas onto the pavement, haphazardly sitting the couch down in the vomit cause i was dizzy, then getting sent home |
evilford
11.14.23 | People need to die |
Titan
11.14.23 | ford bro i listened to 4 of these yesterday alone |
artiswar
11.14.23 | did anyone actually shit their pants at work? Holy shit that would be a nightmare. I think I sharted once by accident |
Demon of the Fall
11.14.23 | holy shit, this is a shitty way to treat a person
sounds like actual shit
for real though, it is... a little understanding wouldn't go amiss. If you're not allowed to be off for being unwell, what do they expect? And unlike what Sharenge said, pretty sure we wouldn't all be shitting ourselves on purpose if it led to the rest of the day off, haha |
evilford
11.14.23 | @titan which 4? |
sonictheplumber
11.14.23 | dude i wouldnt have even changed underwear. if they dont want you to leave, stay. when youre the one who shit your pants, you cant smell it. other people smell it. so if they wanted to smell it thats their fault |
sonictheplumber
11.14.23 | heres another fun thing to do
when you get pulled over the cop is gonna ask for your license. you have a short period where you can rub your hands all over your balls and even get kinda close to that ass-ball-connection (taint?) but make sure not to directly touch your butthole cause YOU dont wanna get sick, the goal is to get the cop sick |
sonictheplumber
11.14.23 | dude everyone needs to get into revenge. every day the govt and your boss is trying to kill you
listen. i never let anyone get away with anything. the week i quit emerald carpet i'd been eating my apples at lunch and throwing the cores inside the carpet rolls so the showrooms would be sent an apple core carpet. my final day at work i smashed a banana on the carpet roller machine, left at lunch without clocking out, and when my shift lead (named ROACH) started blowing up my phone i just told him i was on break. he told me break had ended 2 hours ago, i said "im on break" |
sonictheplumber
11.14.23 | you remember that indian head shop? even before shit hit the fan with those fuckers, id been pissing on these hookah boxes stored in the bathroom (great storage area right?) there were also cracks in the walls and near the floor that id piss on to fill them up with pee and make the foundation wet with my urine |
sonictheplumber
11.14.23 | basically what im saying is you need to start engaging in subtle acts of vandalism at your workplace |
ToSmokMuzyki
11.14.23 | holy shit fucking essay are u back in school jesus |
pizzamachine
11.14.23 | Stealing shit from work is probably a more humane way to take revenge but I could be wrong |
ToSmokMuzyki
11.14.23 | feed em to the gators |
YoYoMancuso
11.14.23 | lawsuit time! |
unclereich
11.14.23 | I have severe ibs and I do not/nor have I ever used a public restroom so I have shit my pants at work before. needless to say I have a lot of experience in this area. I think we need some context tho, did you shit them because you're sick or did you shit them because you weren't able to make it to the restroom on time? if you're sick then yes you should have been granted the rest of the day off and it is time to consider a job change. if you didn't make it to the restroom on time then unfortunately, yea your boss is going to make you come back to work that's the way it is all over the world not just here in shithole USA. however, the most interesting dynamic would be if your boss isnt letting you go to the bathroom. then you go to hr and get that in writing and get yourself some lawsuit money. to conclude though, you really have to be your own advocate and just tell your boss you're not coming back in and risk the consequences. more often than not they aren't going to do anything other than tell you not to do that again. |
ToSmokMuzyki
11.14.23 | holy shit fucking essay are u back in school jesus |
Titan
11.14.23 | @titan which 4?
1, 2, 8, 12 |
ToSmokMuzyki
11.14.23 | i wish i could speak to myself like that |
evilford
11.15.23 | @titan proud of u dawg |
evilford
11.15.23 | Haven't shit my pants yet today, knock on wood |
pizzamachine
11.15.23 | I believe in your bowels m/ |
Wildcardbitchesss
11.15.23 | what kind of undies is everyone rockin
My favorites are deluth buck naked but I’m no connoisseur and I’m poor
I also havent shit in them so I don’t know how well they maintain after being shat in |
chemicalmarriage
11.15.23 | I worked with phil and he shit his pants. He just kept working tho. I think he had like 6 kids and a fat wife so he probably didnt get to go before work. The turd came lopping out of his pant leg and lay there silently on the anti fatigue mat as phil just kept on busting his ass to provide for his kids and fat wife |
Wildcardbitchesss
11.15.23 | man we should all aspire to be a Phil |
evilford
11.15.23 | Lol |
Wildcardbitchesss
11.15.23 | everyone can try to be a bill too
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Rlrq-q8bY |
Hyperion1001
11.15.23 | fard
shid pant
jam riff |
Titan
11.15.23 | I've shit my drawers plenty of times, most recently was about 3 years ago lol
fuck it |
unclereich
11.15.23 | Yea but you were 80 years old 3 years ago so that’s understandable |
Demon of the Fall
11.15.23 | I just want you all to know there's something weirdly comforting about this thread |
Titan
11.15.23 | hey reich dude at least i dont need a diaper yet like you |
brainmelter
11.16.23 | o hell yea you shit in those pants ford 👏🏼 |
unclereich
11.16.23 | It’s nice they let you use the internet in the convalescent home titan 😝 |
Titan
11.16.23 | Hah! Says the dumb duck with irritable bowel syndrome!!!! I fucking love it…. |
budgie
11.16.23 | whut up titanbro
sorry about your wardrobe evilford |
Slex
11.16.23 | Real peepee poopoo hours in this bitch |
Wildcardbitchesss
11.16.23 | idk what you guys are talking about, I tell my granddaughter to type for me while she’s making the ticky toks
I barely know how to use my fuckin underwear let alone a computer |
unclereich
11.16.23 | Really past titans bedtime hours in this bitch 💩 |
evilford
11.16.23 | Way past my bedtime too ahhh |
budgie
11.16.23 | ive been taking alpha gpc right before bed and been havin interestin dream recall |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | did pizzamachine really say itd be more humane for me to steal from my employer than to piss on their floor?
think OUTSIDE of the memes you see on facebook man. dont buy into psyop crap that wants you to get arrested and put on a list forever |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | smoks presence is in this thread is useless, he popped in to say he didnt read it lol. kinda like how he's never listened to anything he's rated in the one year he's been a music fan |
budgie
11.16.23 | jeez what prompted those punches us dorks gotta stick together |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | its just sad. 10 years ago we'd all be talking about how we put a turd in our boss's lunchbox. now its like "hey you should give 2 weeks notice" |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | nothin against smok, id happily buy him a bahama mama once he's 21 (not homophobic, i love bahama mamas) |
budgie
11.16.23 | that sounds like bioterrorism to me |
ToSmokMuzyki
11.16.23 | i cant wait |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | hey try and prove the turds mine |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | bioterrorism is if i mailed a turd. if you just take a shit on something its like, taking a shit. not illegal |
budgie
11.16.23 | not so fast. if theyre british they might mistake the shit for food and eat it, and then youre risking infecting them with a pathogen, its totally terrorism |
evilford
11.16.23 | Lul |
sonictheplumber
11.16.23 | thanks for the clarification budgie, i always wondered what those black hockey pucks in an english breakfast were |
unclereich
11.16.23 | its just sad. 10 years ago we'd all be talking about how we put a turd in our boss's lunchbox. now its like "hey you should give 2 weeks notice"
I fuck with this sentiment hard, you’re right man. |
ReefaJones
11.16.23 | BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF
Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes…. |
unclereich
11.16.23 | This is peak German humor |
Demon of the Fall
11.16.23 | 'i always wondered what those black hockey pucks in an english breakfast were'
black pudding... to be fair it does taste like shit |
Demon of the Fall
11.16.23 | Thought I was gonna test this out yesterday, had a stomach ache for a couple of days but haven't sharted yet, fortunately
work needs to get better bog roll tho, getting ring sting from all the wiping. Like bloody sandpaper |
Titan
11.16.23 | 'Really past titans bedtime hours in this bitch 💩'
you aint lying - especially when i have a wife and 3 kids that i provide for.....you always did like to insult my age though - you're probably closing in on 30 yourself i'm assuming, goes quick pal |
evilford
11.16.23 | Got 3 kids myself. Did the wife thing for a while. Not my thing at this point |
unclereich
11.16.23 | Some things don’t change titan. We’ve been giving each other shit for a decade now. It’s always come from a place of respect, you sound like a good man. |
Ryus
11.17.23 | not me i’ll always be young |
unclereich
11.17.23 | These are bands I listened to when I was thirteen and I mean that with all due respect 🤣 😂 |
Ryus
11.17.23 | im 14 now |
SomeCallMeTim
11.17.23 | your recent recreational activity worries me then |
Hawks
11.17.23 | FUCKING SHIT! - Gordon Ramsay |
