GEORG FRIDERICH HANDL+JULIUS RANDLE’s “SPUTGOATs”
THE LEADERBOARD ALGORITHM IS HERE. WHO GIVES THE GREATEST RECOMMENDATIONS OF ALL TIME. ON THIS WEBSITE. sputnikmusic |
| 1 |  | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
“SPUTGOATs” is a game played by recommenders and recommenders—at any given time, that is; you do hope everyone on the court is both. Recommenders start with the ball and pass TO their opponent. The opponent chooses to shoot the ball (listen to the album), and the rating they give the album determines the result of the shot. The ultimate goal of SPUTGOATs, above all, is for your opponent’s shots to go in. The following statistics have been triangulated into an immaculate algorithm by me and Dr. Ryus and Professor Mx |
| 2 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
ASSIST ATTEMPT TOTAL: how many times the RO, we’ll call them, recommends an album, or passes the ball—both overall and to particular RDs, as we’ll call them. |
| 3 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
OPPONENT FIELD GOAL ATTEMPTS: how many times the ROs assist attempt is put up/listened to by the RD. remember, it’s not even an assist if they didn’t listen, although you tried, but nor does it count as an assist if they listened/shot but it doesn’t go in. Having someone listen to your rec and not like it is better than a completely failed rec for sure though—that’s where this stat comes in. |
| 4 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
OPPONENT FIELD GOAL PERCENTAGE/SUCCESSFUL ASSIST RATE: how often, when the opponent shoots the ball/listens and gives the album a rating, does the shot go in?
.5-1.5: airballs of decreasingly embarrassing variety
2: brick
2.5: miss
3: bangs around a few times before going in
3.5: quick bang off the iron and in
4: regular make
4.5: swish
5: uncontrollable powerful slam dunk |
| 5 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
REBOUNDS/OPPONENT FIELD GOAL PERCENTAGE OVER TIME: does the recommender bounce back from recs the other player missed with ones they will make? Does the RO improve at their practice? Much more ineffable than in the NBA: about how full their image of their RD is. |
| 6 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
HOCKEY REC MULTIPLIER: does the RD go on to use the album as an RO for others? How does that go? (Do they go on to rec your rec to others?) |
| 7 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
POWERFUL REC MULTIPLIER: does the rec, other than going in, spur the RD to check out way more other stuff specifically because of it? |
| 8 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
DEFENSE (negative/marginal): is the RO good at knowing when an RD WILL miss a shot with this or that album? |
| 9 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
Blocks (negative/marginal/punishable): does the RO ever so make fun of an album that the RD doesn’t even want to put up the shot? |
| 10 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
Steals (negative/bizarre/gulag/to be frowned upon): does the RO ever literally steal the idea to rec something to a particular RD? particular but hopefully purely hypothetical “hell jail” status reserved for those ROs who haven’t even heard the album they’re stealing as a recommendation idea |
| 11 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
THREE POINT ATTEMPTS/PERCENTAGE (multiplier): how often does the RO take a risk with their recs, draw on abstract associations instead of just saying that maybe if they like Ryuichi Sakamoto and Haruichi Hosono they’ll like Yellow Magic Orchestra? How many of those attempts end up going in? |
| 12 | | Circle Takes the Square
As the Roots Undo
Good luck, GOATs! |
|
