The Big Fat Melvins Ranking
EP's not included. |
| 1 |  | Melvins
Stoner Witch
Sometimes the most obvious choice is the best one. This album has perhaps the best balance of explosive riffs and eerie creeping ambience - two things Melvins are best known for. When in doubt, just throw this on.
Favorite track: Revolve |
| 2 |  | Melvins
The Maggot
The heaviest Melvins album, this one has the best slower tracks and the best faster tracks too, all thanks to simple, yet effective crushing caveman chords.
Favorite track: Manky |
| 3 |  | Melvins
Stag
Continuing where Stoner Witch left off, this record goes as experimental as Melvins could get away with on a major label and throws everything in the mix - heavy, light, airy, noisy - and somehow still feels like a cohesive album in the end.
Favorite track: Bar-X-The Rocking M |
| 4 |  | Melvins
Hostile Ambient Takeover
Probably the most song-oriented album Melvins have ever done. Not too many left turns compared to the previous entries, but every riff is outstanding and thereis absolutely no filler.
Favorite track: Little Judas Chongo |
| 5 |  | Melvins
Houdini
The "grunge" album is not actually that different from the rest of the 90's output - if anything, it's doomier than Stoner Witch. While the singles may somewhat outperform the rest of the record, it's still an outstanding listen overall, especially in one sitting.
Favorite track: Honey Bucket |
| 6 |  | Melvins
A Senile Animal
Melvins at their most accessible, but it's not an insult at all. A lot of insanely catchy riffs here, and this album is a good entry point for a fresh fan.
Favorite track: A History Of Bad Men |
| 7 |  | Melvins
Bullhead
The one that most people know - the rougher production only adds to the heaviness and the dungeon atmosphere, and while I feel that some songs could have been longer, this is nothing short of classic.
Favorite track: It's Shoved |
| 8 |  | Melvins
The Bootlicker
Lack of distortion is no problem when you've got such a great bass tone and a bluesy mood to go with it. A great night listen.
Favorite track: Jew Boy Flower Head |
| 9 |  | Melvins
The Crybaby
Melvins mostly serve as a backing band for other people here, but those people include the likes of David Yow, Mike Patton and J.G. Thirlwell, so the end result will catch your ear regardless.
Favorite track: Mine Is No Disgrace |
| 10 |  | Melvins
Honky
This is the weirdest Melvins have ever gotten with the exception of Prick. But while Prick is a random collection of noises, this record actually has songs with some effort put into them. Requires several listens, but will surely grow on you if you don't mind something more out there.
Favorite track: Lovely Butterfly |
| 11 |  | Melvins
Lysol
The big drone metal track is the main attraction here, naturally, and I mostly put this album on because of it, despite the fact that the other ones are not too shabby either. An alright album whose main flaw is being (or at least feeling) too short.
Favorite track: Hung Bunny |
| 12 |  | Melvins
Working with God
You'd think Melvins would be running on fumes by 2021, and you'd be at least half right. Luckily, this album takes the band out of a long slump by going back to the 1983 line-up, which means simpler, punkier songs without any noodling, and it really does the trick, as far as I'm concerned. No new ideas here, but the old ones are served with impressive grace.
Favorite track: Caddy Daddy |
| 13 |  | Melvins
Tres Cabrones
The other, first album of the 1983 line-up. While it's not as compact and trimmed as the one above, this album is unjustly overlooked and contains a lot of really good songs, most of them, once again, dirt simple, but really fun.
Favorite track: City Dump |
| 14 |  | Melvins
Gluey Porch Treatments
While this album and Ozma definitely earned their place in history, I've never been much of a fan. These are more song ideas than songs proper, and Melvins would go on to do better stuff. Still, you can see the roots of a great band here already.
Favorite track: Leeech |
| 15 |  | Melvins
Ozma
See Gluey Porch Treatments.
Favorite track: Oven |
| 16 |  | Mike & The Melvins
Three Men and A Baby
Mike Kunka of godheadSilo does not change the band dynamic much, and, as a matter of fact, this is a very standard Melvins album. Mind you, it's good nevertheless, just missing something that would make it unique.
Favorite track: Chicken 'N' Dump |
| 17 |  | Melvins
The Bride Screamed Murder
Melvins go prog! Sometimes it works, like in the first two stellar tracks, and sometimes the songs drag on a bit too long. Bottom line: flawed but salvageable.
Favorite track: Evil New War God |
| 18 |  | Melvins
Pigs Of The Roman Empire
Melvins have done ambient before, so a collab with an ambient musician is bound to bring things to the next level, right? In practice it seems like this record is too small for both Melvins and Lustmord and that they are fighting for control more than working together. Good music, but best heard separately.
Favorite track: Safety Third |
| 19 |  | Melvins
A Walk With Love And Death
A disc of noise + a disc of mellow Bootlicker-type tunes. Three guesses to which one will be listened to more than once. The Death disc is actually very solid and would be higher on this list, were it released separately.
Favorite track: Black Heath |
| 20 |  | Melvins
Hold It In
Half of the album is full of poppy Kiss(?)-inspired songs which don't seem to be that bad on the initial listen, but get old very fast, meaning you are left with about 5 good songs.
Favorite track: Onions Make The Milk Taste Bad |
| 21 |  | Melvins
Nude With Boots
A subtly infuriating album, since unlike other worse Melvins releases, where you can clearly name your favorite and least favorite tracks, here almost every song is a 50/50 split between good and bad ideas. The lighter and slicker sound does not really fit the band either.
Favorite track: The Smiling Cobra |
| 22 |  | Melvins
Basses Loaded
Pretty much the same problems as Hold It In, and this time tame enough for one of the tracks to be featured on Uncle Grandpa (look it up). Honestly, I'd have no problem with that fact if it actually sounded like a Melvins song.
Favorite track: The Decay Of Lying |
| 23 |  | Melvins
Freak Puke
Trevor Dunn plays double bass on this record. He does not really do anything interesting though, and the record itself is very basic and not even all that catchy. It's not a good sign when the only thing I remember after hearing this is that one of the songs is a Paul McCartney cover.
Favorite track: none |
| 24 |  | Melvins
Prick
The problem isn't even that this is noise, it's that the noise is boring.
Favorite track: none |
| 25 |  | Melvins
Pinkus Abortion Technician
"Melvins playing Butthole Surfers B-sides" is an idea that, while it involves two great bands that I like, is still stupid to its very core. The cover of "Graveyard" isn't even the best Melvins cover of this song.
Favorite track: none |
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