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06.03.21 Year of Video Games: Month 505.25.21 Led Zeppelin VS 100 Gecs
05.06.21 Resident Evil Retrospective 05.05.21 Year of Video Games: Month 4
04.02.21 Year of Video Games: Month Three03.30.21 Trebor Started a Podcast?
03.27.21 Very Boomer Comment I Found on YT03.22.21 Why Does My Boomer Father End Every Tex
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08.06.20 My Favorite Snail Artists08.04.20 One Reason rym is better than sputnik
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07.04.19 Most Forgettable Band Name: Final Round06.29.19 Voting: Most Forgettable Band Name
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Resident Evil Retrospective

Resident Evil 8 unlocks in 11 and a half hours so I thought I'd break down all the main series games up to this point.
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Resident Evil - 8.5/10 Remake - 9.5/10

I’m mostly going to be talking about the 2002 gamecube remake because it is far superior and I only played the original once when I was a kid. First of all as a remake Resident Evil is perfect. Very little has been changed other than the graphics and rerecording the awful dialogue. The main gameplay addition is the crimson heads which are fucking awesome anyway. This is still one of the most beautiful games ever put out. Lighting and fixed camera cinematography are on a film quality level. This is by far the best classic style Resident Evil game and a nearly flawless game in general. The spencer mansion is iconic, there’s not much else to say. Both campaigns are cool, but Jill’s is way better.
2Charli XCX
How I'm Feeling Now

Resident Evil 2 - 9/10

Resident Evil 2 improves in every way mechanically, but the sewer section brings the quality down quite a bit. Really expanded on the dual campaign thing, it’s basically four since starting with a different character makes the B campaign so different. The police station is a perfect progression from the spencer mansion. I really like how it’s explained that the station used to be a museum and that’s why there’s all these puzzles based around works of art and other weird shit. These games are definitely at their best when they realize they’re dumb. The second half of the game is not nearly as good as the first, sewers levels are never good and this is no expectation, and the lab is too derivative of the first game. These are minor issues though, RE2 is a very worthy followup.
3Dorian Electra

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis - 8/10

Nemesis is awesome in concept, but tank controls just do not agree with this game. Nemesis is way faster than you and can stagger lock and insta kill you which makes his fights more of a chore than fun. The OG ink ribbon system starts to wear out its welcome with this game since you basically have to save before every Nemesis campaign since they are so RNG focused and it’s so easy to game over. Nemesis’ greatest strength is the level design. The city is just so cool to explore. The clock tower is probably my favorite RE level in general. And the final area not just being another lab is ace.
Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides

Nemesis would basically be a perfect game if the dodge mechanic worked better or the speed/difficulty of the game was tweaked just a little bit. It’s a much better experience on replays once you understand the Nemesis fights and how to cheese him/when to save your game, but the first playthrough is a bit of a nightmare, which is not the worst thing in the world considering this is a horror game. The gunpowder mixing system is so fucking cool.
5Kero Kero Bonito
Bonito Generation

Resident Evil: Code Veronica - 7.5/10

You could make an argument that Code Veronica is the true RE3 as it advances the overarching story more, but it was a Dreamcast exclusive so they didn’t slap a number on this bad boy in order to attract a new audience I guess. In this game you play as Claire for the first half, and then Chris in the second half, with a little Claire sprinkled back in the end. This game is pretty good, but way too long. After finishing Claire’s part I sort of felt done, ya know. And Chris’ part isn’t nearly as good as you’re mostly revisiting the same places. There’s also this mechanic where anything you leave in the box as Claire, Chris gets to use, but the game doesn’t warn you, like hey you should leave some guns for Chris and if you don’t you’ll be totally fucked, which happened to me.

This is also the cheesiest of all RE stories. There’s a part where the annoyingly Canadian character Steve crashes a crane. and fucks everything up because he was staring at Claire’s ass instead of you know looking at the crane. Code V is the worst of the first four, but far from the worst RE overall.
7 Death
Individual Thot Patterns

Resident Evil Zero - 7/10

The last of the OG tank control games, and the worst. Zero is a gorgeous game on par with the 1 remake, but its only unique mechanics are tedious and annoying. Instead of an item box you have to drop items on the ground. Which is nice in the moment because it reduces backtracking, but in the end it makes it worse because now you have to remember where you dropped everything on the map. And you can't just drop all your items in the same room because each room has a hard item limit. wtf, I assume this is a hardware limitation but that doesn't make it any less stupid. And having to switch between two characters does more harm than good because it adds extra backtracking and it's easy to fuck yourself over by having the wrong character in the wrong place at the wrong time. Zero is an OK game, but only worth playing for hardcore fans.

Resident Evil 4 - 10/10

RE4 was my favorite game for a big chunk of my life. I’ve played the campaign probably 50 times and sunk hundreds of hours into the mercenaries mode. This is a major shift in the series, way less horror, way more action. There are classic RE purists that don’t dig this game and I think that’s a valid viewpoint. Thrill a minute. The best inventory system ever in a game. Actually good boss fights. IDK, what can I say that hasn’t already been said. Perfect game.
9 Misfits

Resident Evil 5 - 5/10 at release, 7/10 retrospectively playing with a friend

Complete bullshit inventory system that makes no sense. So many fundamental things are broken in this game, things I took for granted, things that 99.9 of all games have that Resident Evil 5 somehow does not. Like being able to start a new game. You heard that right folks, you can not start a fresh file in RE5, you can only start a new game with all the equipment and money you already have. Who the fuck signed off on this? You have infinite inventory storage in the menu between chapters, but you can also quit out of the game at any time after a checkpoint and use the infinite inventory. At this point why even have a limited inventory in the first place? Especially since this is trying to be a balls out action game and not a survival horror game.
Earth A.D./Wolf's Blood

You can also infinitely exploit items and money, like there’s a chapter where you get a free rocket launcher, and at any point in the game you can reload that chapter, grab the rocket launcher, quit, and then it’s in your inventory and you can go back to your current chapter with it. Again, who the fuck signed off on this? Also this game sucks ass single player, Sheva’s AI is completely broken, if you give her a gun she’ll use all the ammo within seconds. This game was such a massive disappointment coming off of RE4 that I didn’t play another RE game until 2018. Fuck this game. It’s all right though, compared to 6.
Static Age

Resident Evil Revelations - 7/10

Rev 1 is basically if RE was a saturday morning cartoon. That sounds dumb on paper, but I think this game has a low key charm, a charm that's sorely missing from 5 and 6. It's a shame too because not nearly as many people have played this one compared to 6. A lot of people haven’t played Revelations which is a shame because it is much stronger than 5 and 6. Coming out originally on the fucking 3DS a lot like code Veronica on the Dreamcast certainly didn’t help. The episodic thing is kinda stupid especially since the original release of the game came out all in one package. Why release it in episodes on other systems? I really don’t get the point of that kind of release structure, especially considering the game was completely done at launch.
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Resident Evil 6 - 1/10

There are many things wrong with this game, one being the story. It's really dumb and I hate it. Which is the case for a lot of video games I like because hey, you can skip a bad story, but you can't skip bad gameplay. But in the case of RE6 there are tons of unskippable mini cutscenes. Deal some damage to a boss. Unskippable cutscene of the boss recoiling. To some more damage to a boss, unskippable cutscene of it transforming. Oh and another thing about boss battles, they never end. They really stretch out these encounters that aren't fun in the first place, there's a part where you fight a snake boss, pretty standard for a RE game, but every time you deal a certain amount of damage to it it moves to a new room, and this process repeats five or six times and it's just so mindnumbingly boring. But whatever, people like this game for the combat, right?
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The combat is fine, you suplex zombies which while being incredibly dumb is pretty fun. I try to use as little ammo as possible and just punch everyone to death which is effective and indeed fun. The combat is overly complicated, but at the end of the day quite shallow, and it's not enough to carry such a bloated game. I didn't finish the game obviously, but it's about 24 hours long. 24 hours of punching zombies in the face is about 19 hours too long. If I wrote about everything I don't like about this game I'd be here all day so I'll just wrap it up with some bullet points. The enemy design is bad. There's an enemy in Chris' campaign that looks like a dude with ostrich legs, and this used to be a horror franchise. There are sections of the game where you're forced to walk at a snail's pace and follow people around, in what's supposed to be an action game. The graphics are somehow worse than RE5, there's a lot of flat textures that are really noticeable once you get close to things.
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I hate co-op - I believe games are meant to be played alone in a dark room, but this game treats you like an idiot for not wanting to play with some rando. Every time you start the game you have to turn off the online feature as if the game thinks you must be some kind of weirdo for wanting to play what used to be a single player franchise single player.
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A lot of people defend this game because of the co-op, as if all these problems I listed melt away when you're playing with a friend. I can't speak to this but to me it would seem co-op would amplify this game's problems, such as the unskippable content. All in all this is one of the worst games I've ever subjected myself to and it's dumb and bad and I hate it and never want to so much as look at it again.
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Resident Evil Revelations 2 - 6/10

This is one of those co-op optional, but not really because the single player is inherently worse type games. I played the first hour or so by myself until I got stuck because there’s a part where you gotta crank a crank with one character and fight off dudes at the same time, and you’re led to believe you can control both characters, but oh boy, if you set one character to crank the crank and then switch to the other character, the character cranking the crank will stop cranking the crank. Why the fuck would you design two character gameplay this way? But then I played this part with someone else and oh boy one of us could crank the crank and the other could shoot the zombies dudes. Wow! Thanks Capcom, really glad you gave me the tantalizing choice of suffering through your game by myself or being forced to play a SURVIVAL HORROR game with another person.
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Anyway, this is a very average RE game. It somehow manages to have the worst dialogue in the entire series, yes even worse than “master of unlocking” and “sorry but….it looks like your party……...has been...cancelled” and what not. At least the early games were so bad it’s good. This game has raid mode which is really fun. Also they released this game episodically which is so fucking stupid.
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Resident Evil 7 - 9/10

One of the scariest games ever made. Inventory system is tight. Main issue is the last couple of hours aren’t nearly as good, the ship section is lame and the last section while fun and more actiony is not scary at all. It’s one of those things where the less you know about it the scarier it is, and once you get too far in the story and know too much it kinda falls apart. Final boss is not great either but Resident Evil outside of 4 is not known for bosses anyway.
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RE2 Remake - 10/10

I was very cynical about this one. The original ps1 game was my first RE experience and I felt like it didn’t need a remake. I always assume remakes are just cashgrabs that don’t offer anything new anyway. Boy was I wrong. This game is incredible. Something about it is super addicting, I’ve played it over and over again. Experiencing the RPD with modern graphics in the third person just works so well. It does suck that zapping from the original is gone, and the B campaigns are know more like remixes than new campaigns, but those are minor issues. Mr. X and those dang lickers have never been scarier.
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RE 3 Remake - 8/10

This one gets a ton of shit similar to RE5 because it had to follow one of the best received games in the series. And honestly a lot of it is justified. This one does feel like a cashgrab, it feels more like DLC than a complete game. This game is seriously like 4 hours long. And they cut out half the levels from the original game, including the clock tower, which is the best fucking area in any of these games. I should hate this game, but it’s just so much fun. And the super short runtime makes this game really fun to replay and speed through as quickly as possible. There’s definitely way too much movie explosion set piece kind of crap. Especially the first ten minutes or so of the game which has hardly any gameplay and you can’t skip most of it. This is a terrible remake of Nemesis, but a game I love anyway.
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