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Last Active 01-03-23 11:21 pm
Joined 06-03-16

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Justin Bieber: An Unfortunate Ranking

Unfortunate that I listened to all this shit amirite?
9Justin Bieber
Under the Mistletoe

This rivals "Bar Sachiko" as my all time worst album of all time. While the pretty inoffensive closer "Silent Night" might bump it a tad over, listen to the abysmal cover of "Drummer Boy" to see why I almost would rather listen to tinnitus for an hour straight.
8Justin Bieber
Never Say Never : The Remixes

The second compilation sucking dry the material from the "My Worlds" duo, this adds nothing new (aside from the terrible title-single) to the already terribly built and misshapen table of pop trash.
7Justin Bieber
My Worlds Acoustic

Believe it or not, these songs actually do sound worse acoustic.
Oh, and they aren't actually acoustic.
6Justin Bieber
My World

The debut EP from the devil-child himself would probably be near-bottom of this list if it wasn't for the surprisingly solid "Down to Earth" about the divorce of his parents, which also coincidentally is the only one that doesn't sound like it was churned out by a pop/capitalism machine.
5Justin Bieber
My World 2.0

On average this is the more consistent of the two, because the songs aren't nearly as terrible, but none of them even reach being "okay."
4Justin Bieber
Believe Acoustic

He goes full acoustic this time, and to be honest doesn't sound like total ass this time around. Benefitted by the decent original "She Don't Like the Lights" and some passionate vocals, I still wouldn't be caught dead listening to this album.
3Justin Bieber
Believe

While lightyears ahead of the "My Worlds" collection and a solid duo of closers, Believe still makes me feel ashamed that I even listened to it in the first place.
2Justin Bieber
Journals

The first release of his that didn't make me immediately reach for a cup of bleach, Journals was a clever concept with alright execution, the only downside is that the weekly-release style of the tracks adds up to a very choppy album in terms of both flow and quality. Still, some of his best work is on display here, and his first actually good song "Bad Day" makes an appearance.
1Justin Bieber
Purpose

Justin Bieber fulfills his dream of making a perfectly inoffensive and average pop album that doesn't immediately make most respectable audiophiles type furiously on their keyboards about his STDs. It's exactly that, average, inoffensive, and actually listenable. But dear God is that closing speech pretentious as fuck.
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