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Ranking The Strokes, Fuck Consequence of Sound

For some reason I decided to click on a Consequence of Sound list for the "10 Best Strokes Songs." Shouldn't have been surprised that it would be a general circlejerk over Is This It, while going "Oh yeah, the other four albums exist too." Anyway, that pissed me off enough to think my opinion would be worth a bit more than usual, so here's my ranking of The Strokes' studio albums.
5The Strokes
Comedown Machine


Meh.

"All The Time" fails as the 'glory days' track and shouldn't really be on the record. "Tap Out" needs more love.
4The Strokes
First Impressions of Earth


Suffers for simultaneously being a precursor to Angles-era new wave Strokes and trying to faithfully update the 'Is This It' sound with density and polish. Second half probably doesn't get enough love for a reason but it's not terrible. That opening trifecta though. Holy shit.
3The Strokes
Angles


The introduction to Strokes 2.0. is basically the anti-'Is This It.' It's slick, the majority of the album is synth-based, Julian occasionally has vocal layers and on some tracks the drummer doesn't drum. What blasphemy to the garage rock revival. And yet it holds some of the best songs The Strokes ever made (a continued middle finger to Consequence of Sound). "Gratisfaction" is a song to bounce to.
2The Strokes
Is This It


It's 'Is This It.' You've probably made up your mind on it, and there's fifteen years of NME, Consequence of Sound and Stereogum gangbanging each other over the songwriting and tone. I've got nothing to add to this album's discussion.
1The Strokes
Room on Fire


Shorter, snappier, more varied in tone than 'Is This It' and simultaneously the same tone as the previous album. Shockingly consistent and a great exception to the sophomore slump. I have my contrarian moments and this is 100% one of them. Room on Fire is better. Don't set my room on fire.
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