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Emeritus
Reviews 141
Approval 91%
Soundoffs 243
News Articles 21
Band Edits + Tags 104
Album Edits 81
Album Ratings 3085
Objectivity 77%
Last Active 01-08-23 6:33 pm
Joined 06-25-10
Review Comments 59,837
| Guide To Hip-hop For Newbs/white People
So you're white and/or a hip-hop newb and you want to get into the genre.
You've proclaimed "country plus rap equals crap" all your life (hell you
even bought the shirt at Hot Topic) but now you've had a change of heart
because you've seen how many elite sputnik users jam hip-hop. Well,
you've come to the right place my friend, here's my guide | | 1 |  | Limp Bizkit
Significant Other
Level 1: pre-hop: RATM, Korn, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit Faith No More, Bloodhound
Gang / instrumental : DJ Shadow, J Dilla, Nujabes | | 2 |  | J Dilla
Donuts
This step has two sectors, which you probably only need one or the other. For
music nubs, I would recommend rap rock. It's mostly shit, but hey it'll get you used
to rapping at least. For more seasoned tastes, I would recommend instrumental hip
hop and trip hop, as you're sure to appreciate the musicianship. | | 3 |  | Beastie Boys
Licensed To Ill
Level 2: White rappers: Beastie Boys and Eminem, Fresh Prince, Run DMC, Aesop
Rock, Atmosphere Drake | | 4 |  | Drake
Take Care
Now that you're more used to the music of hip hop, and some of the rapping, we
delve into white rappers. If you're not into hip hop at all, you're probably white, so
white rappers are a good starting point as they usually rap about white people
problems that you're sure to relate to. Beastie Boys are prime, because a lot of
their music is rock oriented, they don't have very complicated flow, and they rap
about weird white people shit. | | 5 |  | A Tribe Called Quest
The Low End Theory
Level 3: Dipping them toes: Tribe Called Quest, Outkast, Kanye West, De La Soul,
Public Enemy, Mos Def, Gang Starr, Kendrick Lamar | | 6 |  | Kanye West
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Know that you know every word to Kill You, and Brass Monkey, it's time to dip your
toes into blacker, meaner hip hop. Conscious rap is great for white people because
they love to pretend they're real smart and know about issues and shit. Also you
should be able to get down to some nice jazz based hip hop beats, oh yeah snap
your fingers and clap your hands to that 4/4 beat, I know you can do it whitey! | | 7 |  | Deltron 3030
Deltron 3030
Level 4: Alt hip-hop: Madvillain, Deltron 3030, The Roots, Cunninlynguists,
Common, MF Doom, Odd Future | | 8 |  | Tyler The Creator
Bastard
White folks are fuckin weird, just like alt hip hop. Blaze up that weed you got from
the kid with divorced parents in your suburb, I know you got it! It's time to get
down to some weirder shit. You can pretend you're a really hip stoner while
listening to Madvillain and Deltron and be all like "lol did he just rap about a jetpack
hehe so high OFWGKTA" | | 9 |  | Snoop Dogg
Doggystyle
Level 5: Bridging the gap to gansta rap: Wu-Tang Clan, N.W.A., Biggie, Snoop
Dogg, Goodie Mobb, Dr. Dre, Clipse | | 10 |  | Wu-Tang Clan
Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
OK so now you're used to listening to black dudes rapping, but now you must get
into black people problems. A lot of white folks can't get into gansta rap at first cuz
they have no fucking frame of reference when it comes to life in the hood and the
police being on your ass and shit. But don't worry, your training so far should
enable you to find your way. Start off with some Snoop Doggy Dogg, oh he's so
silly, you barely feel afraid of him, even when he's rapping about guns! Next try
some Wu-Tang Clan, they're music is great for parties. Get all your pasty white
chick friends to come over to your mom's house this weekend for a nice hip hop
party. I know she left the liquor cabinet open so feel free to treat your hoes to
some Seagram's oooo eeee bitches love that shit. | | 11 |  | Nas
Illmatic
Level 6: Reining in the classics: Nas, Eric B and Rakim, Mobb Deep | | 12 |  | Eric B and Rakim
Paid In Full
All right so know you've gotten a taste for hood life, and you're almost out of the
woods. Just get some more classic shit, you're probably elite enough to understand
Nas and Rakim's complex flow at this point, so give it a shot! | | 13 |  | Death Grips
The Money Store
Level 7: Diversify, be elite: Proclaim Big L whenever Pac or Biggie are mentioned.
Shabazz Palaces, Lil B.(ironically) Alt hop elitism: Cannibal Ox, El-P, Digable
Planets, Quasimoto, Dr. Octagon, Death Grips | | 14 |  | Quasimoto
The Unseen
All right so know you've heard all the classics, now it's time to throw all that shit out
the window. Only newbs listen to popular and classic albums. You need to listen to
some obscure shit. Listen to some hipster shit too, like Death Grips. If your friend
starts talking about how awesome College Dropout and Dark Twisted Fantasy are,
call him a pleb and tell him Yeezus is the only Kanye album worth listening to.
Whenever Pac or Biggie get mentioned, call everyone in the room a fucking newb
and ask them if they've even heard Big L, that'll show them. Start listening to Lil B
ironically, laugh at how dumb his music as and lament at how shitty mainstream
shit hop is, wow you're so rebellious and controversial. | | 15 |  | Lil B
Based Jam
Level 8: Listen to Lib B unironically | | 16 |  | Lil B
God's Father
OK so you've heard it all, what's next? Listen exclusively to Lil B, and enjoy his
music without a hint of irony. This is the highest level of elitism. Wow you've done
it, I'm so proud. Now go my son, and major in business at your local state school
and grow ironic facial hair and get all the hipster bitches. | | 17 | |
Album | | 18 |  | Band
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Album | |
Trebor.
07.24.13 | Probably the most fun I've had writing something
I wish I was staff so this could be a staff blog | oltnabrick
07.24.13 | o
k | klap
07.24.13 | this whole list is weird coming from a whitey | Cygnatti
07.24.13 | Good list. Pos'd. | Cygnatti
07.24.13 | What do I do if I'm not white tho? D: | dcalderon
07.24.13 | What if you are latin? I have to make the transition from salsa to hip-hop | dcalderon
07.24.13 | So this lil b guy. Is he some sort of polarizing figure?? | Trebor.
07.24.13 | Even if your skin isn't white, you're probably pretty white culturally if you're reading this list | oltnabrick
07.24.13 | ooooookkkk | Keyblade
07.24.13 | I feel sorry for whoever is about to go on this journey. | dcalderon
07.24.13 | Damn it. That's true | Cygnatti
07.24.13 | No, I'm not Latino either. But I am culturally white because I've never appreciated the conventions and sentiments of my parents. | cagedescending
07.24.13 | based list | oltnabrick
07.24.13 | Listen to Lil B | GnarlyShillelagh
07.24.13 | i think this list is really out of order but glad to hear you had fun with this
also agree 1000% with klap | TrueBlood
07.24.13 | I feel sorry for whoever is about to go on this journey.[2] | Adabelle
07.24.13 | Lol but Lil B is cool
Also currently growing semi-ironic facial hair
Fuck | Yotimi
07.24.13 | Thought I was a newb but I already got all these down so I guess I'm elite. I'll make sure everyone knows I'm the authority around here from now on | oltnabrick
07.24.13 | fill in 17 through 30 | Trebor.
07.24.13 | If I edit it, it'll get fucked up
I listed several for each, just not in album art | BeneaththeDarkOcean
07.24.13 | If I was in charge of the world, this list would run backwards.
MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA | theacademy
07.24.13 | Academy's Guide to LIFE:
a. Level 1 on this list
b. (nothing else) | Trebor.
07.25.13 | wag | apert
07.25.13 | i'm black and i don't even hip-hop... yeah haven't even heard Nas | oltnabrick
07.25.13 | omg
| apert
07.25.13 | i know right | Trebor.
07.25.13 | 200+ comments and a feature wow I can't believe it | Keyblade
07.25.13 | Too many bad albums on the list is what's keeping it back. | jefflebowski
07.25.13 | i think limp bizkit as one of my first rap albums would put me off the genre forever | frigyourgenre
07.25.13 | list rules this was pretty much my journey through hip hop accept for the lil b part o: | Cygnatti
07.25.13 | Apert, you're a disgrace to your kind. | Deviant.
07.25.13 | "I wish I was staff so this could be a staff blog"
Really glad it's not | Keyblade
07.25.13 | I'm black and I don't listen to him either, sue me nigguh | frigyourgenre
07.25.13 | deviant you gotta admit this is a pretty creative list | amemento
07.25.13 | being racist and stupid is creative is it | keyokeyo
07.29.13 | Get out your prayer rug, aim towards Berkeley, and praise the Based God everyday at high noon
stay ble$$ed | climactic
07.29.13 | odd future should never be lumped with madvillain, roots and deltron | treeqt.
07.29.13 | hard lack of yung lean | InbredJed
07.29.13 | Damn I'm at level 6, not bad for a cracker I guess.
Nice list treb, fun reading.
Where's tha KRS in all this? | Trebor.
07.29.13 | Never heard him actually | theacademy
07.29.13 | krs already made an album called blueprint first | Hawks
07.29.13 | Haha this list is awesome. | Keyblade
07.29.13 | "Never heard him actually"
well damn. as long as you're jammin lil b i guess | oltnabrick
07.29.13 | XD | theacademy
07.29.13 | sup hawks | Trebor.
07.29.13 | KRS One sounds like a radio station | Keyblade
07.29.13 | stay #based | Trebor.
07.29.13 | I'm white and kind of from the burbs, it's a joke | Deviant.
07.29.13 | "you blew the list with that comment"
The way you're preaching and blagging on about KRS and BDP makes me think that you've literally just come across him. What happened, did you get your first sexual experience just as "that's the sound of da police" came on? | SweetCloset
07.29.13 | If I advance a stage do I have to stop listening to the previous stage? | oltnabrick
07.29.13 | same
| InbredJed
07.29.13 | Whoopsi | Deviant.
07.29.13 | Your functional use of the "replace every th with a d" scheme provides a pretty clear cut argument. Persuasive use of syllables man! | ShitsofRain
09.09.13 | i love you for this list rob
i'm such a newbie, i started at level 6 | MisterTornado
09.09.13 | Great list, but missing the absolutely essential: DJ Screw - 3 'N The Mornin' (Part Two) | guitarded_chuck
09.09.13 | "Level 8: Listen to Lib B unironically"
hahahahhha
Sick Trebor. This is that shit that should be featured.
(just realized this is old but w/e) | NapalmCrusader
09.09.13 | Actually in hip hop I started in a mixture of level 5, 3 and 2 ( started with snoop dogg, eminem, kanye, 50 cent, 2pac, biggie and stuff like that), I have different hip hop evolution compared to most of the people here. In my freshman years hip hop was one of the few music genres that caught my attention, then I got tired of hip hop and started to dig other music genres ( strating with LP, RATM, FAITH NO MORE and them digging other rock, punk, electronic and metal subgenres). Since 2 o 3 years started to dig again hip hop and artists of level 3,4,6 and 7 are part of my playlist. Still need to check Death Grips and Dr. Octagon and death grips | Masochist
09.09.13 | I'm black, and I approve this list. Niggas. | NapalmCrusader
09.09.13 | I'm latin and its a good guide for newbies ( with the exception of lil b part ). In a lot of latin american countries people have a misconception of hip hop, is not very popular among a big part of the community and the popular shit are just awful hip hop bastardizations like reggaeton and hybrids of bad hip hop with cumbia and more shit like that. | guitarded_chuck
09.09.13 | "I'm latin and its a good guide for newbies ( with the exception of lil b part )."
Your time will come. | NapalmCrusader
09.09.13 | My time has come already chuck | Sinternet
11.10.19 | All right so know you've gotten a taste for hood life | Keyblade
11.10.19 | lol this is actually good | oltnabrick
11.10.19 | Level 8: Listen to Lib B unironically
| Kompys2000
11.10.19 | Wow I didn't know Trebor used to be funny | Drifter
11.10.19 | Lmaoo |
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