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What you’re about to read is what bands call a “bio,” a one-page sales pitch that will typically feed you a bunch of nonsense about how cool and hip we
are. If we’re lucky, we’ll come across as legitimate music artists, and you’ll be enticed to either purchase our music and/or come see us perform live.
Normally, I would write this pitch in the typical third-person format, filling the page with trite phrases such as, “Karate High School’s new album will
astound you with it’s Sasquatch-sized melodies and war-starting, crushing guitars! All the trendy zines say that if you ...read more
What you’re about to read is what bands call a “bio,” a one-page sales pitch that will typically feed you a bunch of nonsense about how cool and hip we
are. If we’re lucky, we’ll come across as legitimate music artists, and you’ll be enticed to either purchase our music and/or come see us perform live.
Normally, I would write this pitch in the typical third-person format, filling the page with trite phrases such as, “Karate High School’s new album will
astound you with it’s Sasquatch-sized melodies and war-starting, crushing guitars! All the trendy zines say that if you buy it, your Cool-O-Meter will be
raised 13 points, and you will instantly become 46% more attractive to the opposite sex!”
Oh, the joys of bullshit hyperbole.
I’m going to keep it simple this time around, and start with a few facts: Karate High School is a rock band from the San Francisco Bay Area. We
decided to take this music thing seriously in 2004, and released two records called Arcade Rock and The League Of Tomorrow through a label that
nobody has ever heard of. We toured the country in the filthiest van ever many times over, and played both heartbreakingly terrible and massively
inspiring shows. Ray spent years cold-calling everyone in the music industry, begging them to listen to an unknown band with a silly name. The result?
A collective shrug of the shoulders and an email inbox and voicemail full of No New Messages. At some point in a band’s life, you have to make a
decision to either A) get a real job so you can pay your cell phone bill, or B) chase your dreams. For me, the answer was simple: chase your dreams.
Naïve? Probably. Exciting? Hell yes. Fortunately, in 2008, we met a group of people that are just as passionate about music as we are: Alex and crew
at Eyeball Records, and Jesse and Black at Piermont Management. We signed a deal with Eyeball in late ’08, and the world has never been the same.
Okay, the world has been exactly the same. There are just five dudes that are, like, way happier.
I’m supposed to talk about the sound of the band, and tell you what makes these songs different than anything you’ve heard before. But c’mon, folks,
let’s face it: there are no original sounds anymore. Everything has already been done. The Beatles already wrote every great song many years before I
was born. I’ll never write a Hey Jude. Heck, I’ll never write a Yellow Submarine. The only thing I can do is put as much honesty and creativity into the
songs that I can, and hope that they connect with you. With that said, there are loud guitars. There are keyboards. Some songs have over-the-top
yelling, while others have ultra-poppy melodies. There’s a good chance that we’re not metal enough for you. There is also a good chance that we’re
not indie enough for you. I simply write what I enjoy listening to, and if that means that there is a techno polka song next to a blistering hXc
breakdown, then that’s what makes the record.
I like a lot of different music. My iPod is filled with everything from Talking Heads to Cannibal Corpse, with DJ Shadow, Bjork, WHAM!, and countless
others infinitely stuck on shuffle. My iPod also has a high-resolution version of the 80’s classic The Lost Boys starring the fantastic team-up of Corey
Feldman and Corey Haim, but I suppose that’s beside the point.
And what is the point, exactly?
Karate High School has a new record called Invaders, and it will be released through Eyeball Records on May 19th, 2009.
Invaders is a record about life, love, destiny, self-discovery, accomplishments, disappointments, Heaven, Hell, dreams, reality, hope, realizing it’s
never too late to follow your heart, and finding beauty and strength in the most peculiar of places. If there’s one theme that keeps coming back
throughout the record, it’s that It’s Okay To Be Yourself. I fought with this concept for a long time, and I still do. There is simply too much media
telling you how to look, how to act, and selling you answers to your problems that it’s hard to wade through the bullshit and find something real. If
you feel this way too, then hey, this record is for you.
I wrote and recorded most of this record in my old bedroom at my mother’s house. No high-priced studio. No big-name producer with fantastic street
cred. No money. Aaron played drums. Geoff played guitar. And I played bass, keyboards, and sang. The only thing I had was a minimal amount of
recording gear and an overwhelming need to use music as a way to process life experiences, express them, and gain some type of understanding of
What The Hell I’m Doing Here. And yes, I am fully aware of how disgustingly pretentious and self-indulgent that sounds. But what can I say? I’m
writing this on my laptop at Starbucks while nursing a Venti Decaf White Mocha With Extra Foam, and my thick rimmed glasses and black beret got
the best of me.
But I digress.
I've never been more proud of anything I've created before. I spent every single moment for months in a row writing/recording/revising/being
excited/being even more disappointed/and finally, proud of the final result. With that said, I voluntarily take 100% of the blame if you think this record
sucks. And yes, I'm plenty prepared for the two 13 year olds in New Hampshire that might actually be anticipating new KHS music to post, "WTF?!!!
kAraTE hIsk00L sUx0rz!!!!11111111oneone" on their MySpace blog after they hear the new tunes. And yes, I'll read both of them, because I have a
special illness that forces me to skip over and dismiss any slightly positive comments regarding my music, and pay special attention to the ones that
tear me down.
But you aren’t going to think the record sucks. You’re going to love it. It’s going to become your new best friend. You’re going to cuddle up with it at
night and it’s going to give you a back massage while whispering in your ear how hot you are. Then, it’s going to get up early, make you breakfast,
wash the dishes, and grind all your Warcraft characters up to Level 80. In other words, you’ll be entering a new, exciting relationship. Except, at the
end of this relationship, you won’t come home from work to find Invaders in bed with another dude, wearing black socks and a leather mask with a
zipper over it’s mouth. This record is loyal, and it wants to love you. You simply have to give it a chance.Goofiness aside, I’ve never been more excited
about where the band is headed, and I'm not ashamed to say that I want all of you to hear the new record. Come see us on tour when we play near
you, because there’s nothing we’d love more than to see all of your faces. And sleep on your couch. And use your shower. And have you cook dinner
for us. You get the picture. « hide |
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