Review Summary: Grab your space gear and prepare for a soundtrack that’s out of this world literally, and has enough BRUTE force to FLOOD your imagination.
If something’s gonna make you happy to see the day, it won’t be your intensely pleasuring, pulsating controller while playing Halo 3, it will be its soundtrack. Never before has the thrill of committing genocide against genocidal aliens been constructed into musical form so perfectly. It’s like a movie soundtrack, but cheesy as ***, so it sounds like a high budget B movie, and that, my dear manchild, is instant wet fanny. So grab your Spartan gear (that you made yourself over many months instead of acquiring extra income), your massive, non-usable Needler gun (you will have to actually clean your room to find space for it), and your Master Queef bed sheets. Prepare to have your feeble mind blown like headshots that you miss.
Most of the Halo songs that people care about are in here, or they are in Halo 2. If you disagree you’re a pretentious prick that either worships the original game, or Halo 3: ODST (cause it’s slightly different), when clearly Halo: Reach is the best game subjectively and it’s not a contest. The strings and horns are utterly bombastic here, and the percussion work is exuberant and triumphant, hitting those snares like an MA5 assault rifle. It makes you feel proud to be a Messiah-like space marine for the thousandth time in video games even if you play as a douche that barely talks and wears a helmet in the shower; it whisks you away into a fantasy murdering spree with a so called noble purpose - apparently diplomacy doesn’t exist in this wretched universe. Try a big bomb instead, I hear those explode things tra la la. Oopsies, time to teabag a corpse lols, hey stop firing at me, your mom is a bitch! *** YOU!!!!!
The soundtrack is mostly the loud strings and drum work, and piano bits throughout. There’s also some attempts at ambient ***, with a wee bit of electronic *** that sounds somewhat industrial. But no one cares about that - not even the soundtrack cares about that. All we wanna hear is the DUH NU NU NUUUUUH DUH NU NU NUUUUUUUH (you know what I mean). Don’t worry, there’s plenty of that bull***, and it’s simply classic Halo music, ‘nuff said. This may not be the best soundtrack, I mean it is an old video game, but it’s perfect for listening while playing it. The music is completely predictable, and that’s just fine. Unfortunately, the “epic” moments only show up now and then, kind of like you when you’re playing multiplayer. It’s a slog to listen to the whole soundtrack, like playing through the entire Master Chief Collection instead of skipping to Halo 2 and Halo: Reach. But the classic moments are here, it sets the bravado, and gets you invested in playing the game. Sounds like a decent soundtrack to me.
