I'd like to thank my English 091 teacher for showing me how to right good

YEEEEEE

Boo.

This is sweet, there are some great users here that made staff and contributor! Congrats guys.

Dnor 4 Prez

Congratulations!

Wtf Snoxall didnt get staff this is bullshit

Shouts out to the entire Erstwhile gang couldn't have done it with you. ~ From Sputnik With Love ~

gratz dudes

"greg84 (take a shot for every 4/5 review he publishes in 2013 and enjoy your liver failure!)
PaperbackWriter (replace "4/5" with "psychedelic")"
hahaha
would have about four more ha's had you written 4.5 instead of 4 though

yeah congrats everybody.

glad trebor and necrotica made it!

andcas i'll vouch for you next time, no joke

how great would it be if we were both staff, duking it out on metacritic or whatever

Why no Atari? ROBBED I TELL YOU!

okay cool now #captain4staff

Atari, did you apply?

This is cool

also im sad the app thread was deleted i dont remember doing it but im pretty sure it was legendary

@LloydNewgreen,

yeah i applied no worries man. I'll just keep reviewing because i enjoy it and maybe next time ;)

Yeah! Finally! Hugs and kisses to the contributors who picked me.

"Why no Atari? ROBBED I TELL YOU!"

Agreed so fucking much. I'm glad I'm a contributor, but I really wanted Atari to get it too. I'm confused as to why he didn't get it

I just realized Josh has a featured review and had one last week and didn't get promoted

thanks for the kind words guys. i should prolly screw around on the site less : /

Yeah, I personally think that you're one of the best user reviewers on here.

woah so many promotions, mostly good though. Congrats to some of you (you know who you is!!!!!!).

the news article is fucking gold though, Jom, never leave us. Overall I give this night a 4.5/5. "Like" if you agree.

nice to see hyp make it on

paperback writer has the fastest rise i've ever seen here, user to staff in less than two years

I guess I'll just keep on trying to get a spot in the years to come. Congrats to all who were promoted.

yes yes yes paperback

jammin motorhead

OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho

@Lloyd,

well thanks man i really appreciate it!

"Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho" [2]

Michael: Is there any other possible reason?

the year of wag has come

"paperback writer has the fastest rise i've ever seen here, user to staff in less than two years"

A few days less than one year actually

Cool stuff

"Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho"

you guys can compliment me but leave poor fish out of this

Oh God please don't start with the "______ writes better than _______"
These posts are always a mix of a) irrelevant opinions (obviously the people who matter thought otherwise) and b) popularity contests (if Atari weren't such a nice/cool user would you have been vouching for him? exactly)

Also sorry Snox looks like I might have cost ya a contrib spot ; )

Glad to see Omaha and Angel get their promotion.

Michael: Any that could reasonably apply to you?

Atari: It's the truth, dude.

oblivious/delusional users are the most entertaining users

^

"GnarlyShillelagh"

lol who is this? I love your username. call me maybe?

nice to see hyp make it on [2]

congratz on promotions

Hyperbole King or CrandyNewman, maybe?

emslash

Jom is MichaelJordan.

promoted to what site?


rym?

Grandpa seth

Don't encourage them to be shitheads.

Congratulations everyone. If I'm still using the site in a year's time or so, I might actually apply. Gives me a while to contribute more.

I'll be honest with you Snoxall: half of these promotions are bullshit.

"I just pissed everyone off with my sarcastic pretentiousness and pseudo-elitism."

That's pretty much it right there. You've been cool lately though so just.. Don't be a dick! Eventually Cockballs (SKELE LIVES!!) will be synonymous with cool dude

Michael it's because your comments suck

"I feel it's too late for me to try and redeem all the negative attention I receive here. Everyone hates me and I do not know how to reverse it. I think I just pissed everyone off with my sarcastic pretentiousness and pseudo-elitism. "

I know how to reverse it: stop making posts like this. Just review. Like I said before, if you never ever posted but only wrote reviews, you'd have easily been promoted.

bungy, my kindred spirit

Michael: Or become Irving.

Or stop paying attention to them.

...

Or just use your other account!

jesis christ

stop

Michael applies directly for staff and is surprised when he doesnt get it

m/m/m/

fuck yeah hyp, angel, carouse...

Insurrection: He could still be promoted to Contrib. Yep, you didn't like that move, get over it.

You didn't kiss enough Staff ass.

"Or become Irving"

No. Then I have to read more posts like this:


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAGAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAGAH
HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAs 8)

"Insurrection: He could still be promoted to Contrib. Yep, you didn't like that move, get over it."

Guessing this is one of your alts huh

express more of your feelings that's helping

my request of the new staffers: start blogging it up hardcore. that section of the site desperately needs some developing. I think that some consistent live music coverage or interactive lists or some quality word-vomit/musings would be a really nice addition to this site. We should start having more prominent features, you know, diversify and not be a website strictly for album reviews/general dumbfuck-ery.

"fuck yeah hyp, angel, carouse..." [2]

Bungy: Which is how one gets promoted! God, are you senile?

Michael: "oh right, shutting up now *breaks keyboard*" stop. Go review something.

I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature.

"I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature. "

serious? or......

I have two alts: MiguelSnoxale (the account I made when this one was banned early on in my days using the site) and another one which I've used like once when I wanted to start the site as a new user to see how people reacted to me not knowing it was me.

It was a fun experiment.

I've been vying for the position of Hammerhead Shark Authority for almost four years and nobody cares. Someone must already hold that title

"are you senile?"

are you new?


What Aids said about making the blog spiffier

(I can't edit)

Aids: 123

Insurrection: Nope, but you can believe that if you want to!

Gian: ¡Free Skele!!1

I have a strange feeling it is my behaviour on this site that stopped me from a promotion to Contrib (as well as my writing probably not being good enough).

Who would have guessed?

Im expecting a lotttt more trolling now that people are allowed to dick around on their alts. Should be entertaining to say the least.. plus now i can finally release the inner beast inside me

"if we're going to continue to be endorsed by professional sites, we can't have potentially unprofessional writers"

Then what about reviews like Klap's hilarious Owl City review? Surely that's not professional in any sense? I mean I see your overarching point, but that's about as unprofessional as they get.

joke.



I have two alts: MiguelSnoxale (the account I made when this one was banned early on in my days using the site) and another one which I've used like once when I wanted to start the site as a new user to see how people reacted to me not knowing it was me.



LIAR, MICHAELSNOTBALLS EEEHH??

this site makes me chuckle

Plot twists.

These are great additions, especially the new Staffers. Congratulations everybody!

I'm not laughing Scoot.

this site is very creepy sooo goodbye fellas i'm taking a short vacation to rateyourmusic resort

take the rake out of your vagina

"plus now i can finally release the inner beast inside me" will be a shithead for 2 mins and realize nobody cares.

toxin.: It wasn't that unprofessional...

It's lodged. Deep.

congratulations to everybody. hopefully this helps make the site continue to grow.

"toxin.: It wasn't that unprofessional..."
"Like having an orgasm and saving the rain forests at the same time!"
ummmm

jesus christ you are all idiots

beautiful timing with that one aids, agreed

Oh be quiet Aids, it's been announced for an hour. We're allowed to be slightly irritated for an hour or two.

congrats to everyone =]

i'm going to try to pump out a few reviews and nab a late staff promotion (not likely, but MAYBE!?)

]:

congrats everyone else but me though!

congrats everyone else but me though!




I think it was the ':]' at the end of your reviews, life is not fair ]:

@Jom, I think that's certainly a fair enough point.

I originally intended Klap's review to be one specific case in a general trend that staff tends to be less professional when it comes to artists/albums collectively agreed to be crap, but looking at a few shitty artists in the last ten or so minutes showed that it's probably more a matter of confirmation bias than anything. And this latest batch of staff promotees is probably the most professional yet, so it's probably irrelevant anyways.

Congrats all. I must be out of touch -- I don't know who more than half of these kids are.

Recent is the wrong word u have failed the staff test

lmao

So much congratulations! I don't come here very often but the names i recognize absolutely deserve it. Bravo.

Review Irepress! Or Cocco!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA

8-)

irving i almost never see you post anymore!

among all this wankery people are gonna overlook that the new Flaming Lips albums leaked and it is so so so so good

guys

new Flaming Lips album, it is super good

someone who got promoted: review it right now please and it better be a 4.5 or I'll get my man greg after you

posting tfu review tomorrow, should get me insta-staff

Well, fuck




congrats I GUESS

i know it's not officially out yet but get a promo or something. we are SPUTNIK, tremble at the sight of our mighty staff and contrib roster.

yaaaaaaa

Congrats to all those who got it, especially Fish and Trebor!

nice job to all those who didn't get a position but had the balls to apply

Big congratulations to everyone who got promoted! There's a pretty hefty contributor team now, and a lot of great and deserving new writers with a lot of ambition and talent that are a part of the team. I'm also obviously really happy for my homies that made staff, and I'll continue to keep persistently working hard so that I can join you guys on Olympus!

Haha. Thanks a bunch. Let's get drunk together. I'm actually in the process of changing all these 4s to 3.9s so that the joke wouldn't make sense.

Congrats to everyone who got promoted.

Greg, you do know that you are under strict orders that your 1st 3 reviews as a member of Staff must be in the genres of electro-pop, hip-hop & folk... And you still must adhere to the 3.9 - 4.1 range.

Big congrats are in order for all applicants, promoted or not promoted in this round of promotions.

The site is definitely getting bigger and bigger in terms of the pool of good writers around.

"GnarlyShillelagh"

lol who is this? I love your username. call me maybe?

I've been meaning to ask this for so long, how do you do that indent when quoting someone?

DaveyBoy:
You're killing me man, but seriously I've been thinking of reviewing some hip-hop for some time now. Damn. I wrote a blurb for Killer Mike's latest in the users' list and nobody has even noticed... So after all, it seems you hit the nail raight on the head.

@Aids
I was actually planning on reviewing it as I'm a big fan of The Flaming Lips, though I need to check if any other Staff member already has dibs on it. So this would be potential psychedelic shot #1.

Super duper.

Congratulations all, can't believe it's been a year since the last round already

surprised atrink, andcas and atari didn't get it

Cool man, congrats!

hey toxin it was professional satire these things are possible

jom is baselineooo can i have a big avatar now

WOOOOO

I may have to change my username to something completely different, though. We'll see.

ThePetsorbGuy

Grats to all

peteys orb thug

Congrats to most of you yea

I may have to change my username to something completely different, though [2]

pets get roby hu

'may have to change my username to something completely different, though [2]'
christ ana, fish
chin far as shit

K, tap he

I may have to change my username to something completely different, though. We'll see.

Congrats, all the people I know from that list deserve the promotion.

*Goes back to indefinite hiatus*

Congrats to all who got promoted.

I will continue improving and hope I'll get staff one day. In the meantime, I guess I'll enjoy my status as a veteran contributor.

Gotta say thanks for the opportunity guys : ) ill do you proud.

I've still got work to do to get to the quality of writing I want to be at but thanks for the opportunity

I swear, I'm reading everything Jom is writing in my uncles voice. As in the whole older, wiser mentor stuff . Weird.

Fucken double posts, how do they work

Wow, well played guys.

Congrats to everyone who made the cut!

I'm so...happy for you guys!!!!! :')

Congratulations

sucks

Congrats to everyone who made the cult

:'3

"i should prolly screw around on the site less : /"

I'd be inclined to agree but I don't think I do that much so it prolly was a lack of talent thing for me lol.

Damn.

Until Kill becomes Staff there is a huge injustice on this site

Congrats to everybody, specially Greg (great reviewer) and Voivod, the man that keeps metal alive and kicking around here.

Normally I'd shoutbox everyone individually but since we promoted half the site CONGRATZ EVERYONE LETS LISTEN TO SOME METAL AMIRITE

I'll drink to that.



and Voivod, the man that keeps metal alive and kicking around here.

thanks man but one correction is in order: in place of "metal", place "obscure metal", because there is a ton of good writers already covering metal releases and stuff.

Now... who wants to be mod???

how many anacrusis, queensryche, and public enemy albums must i 5 to get this



because i will 5 them all

Sweet congrats ppl. Great choices overall and I've always thought Angel should be staff anyways so there we go

grats to all good choices there

Good job ppl u make us proud.

WHAT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Congrats Ignim, Angel and Hyp

WHAT THE FUCK is Trebor doing as a contrib. Fuck that noise.

Oh well, maybe next time

congratulations guys

"Now... who wants to be mod???"

I would come down on these fools with my witticism-engraved ban hammer

10/10

gg wp

Bummer. I'll keep reviewing and what not. Ill just ask for every review I write to be featured ;)

But seriously though, congrats to everyone who was promoted!

congratulations!!





fuckers..

angel, robertsona, carouse, romulus,hyperion

some of these new contribs are lol

congrats to paperback, angel, carouse, hyp, wyan, ipod, insomniac

Oh man guys I had the worst night last night and the fact that nobody has explicitly said "FromDaHood sucks" really has me vibing.

You clearly suck, judging by that awful title you now have! Shame!

Congrats to all the new staffers and contribs.

tbh i thought paperback was staff already
congrats all

Congrats to all promoted!

Hmm, some of the usernames don't ring any bells, but good picks in general; all well deserved.

Congrats to all of you fellas!

Tbh I'm expecting every review that Greg writes about something that isn't stoner rock, to be him calling it avant-garde.

But in all seriousness congrats to everyone, except Jom but only because he dissed the third Cold album.

I was convinced breakingthefragile got staff'd, hmmm....

Hey, now metal has a chance of being in the end-year staff list!

josh fountain should have made contrib and i find it to be a travesty that he didn't
but to the rest of you


good luck

don't suck

I agree with Kris on all accounts

We'll keep working and land it, Josh.

Angel is a good dude but he never writes reviews. How did he get promoted or is it just cuz hes awesome?

Cheers to Greg and Voivod! Everyone else too, y'all are good and will do well.

We got this, guest

^

Congrats to everybody who got promoted. Greg and Voivod for staff! YaY

"I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature."

agreed, i might call him out when his alts are obvious but reporting him is dumb. i don't see why they dont just unban the original skele

but the fish promotion was a joke right

I feel so insecure having so many sputnik peers be contrib now
i liked it better when they were all people i didnt know

who honestly cares about a few red letters

"hey toxin it was professional satire these things are possible"
klap ily and that review ruled, but... well we can agree it was satire.

Congrats to all who were promoted.

i appreciate this site because it for some reason gives me positive reinforcement for posting music reviews under the name 'super grover'.

lol rommy youre the best

sweet picks

My sputnik fantasy looks good

congrats guys

@toxin i mean pitchfork once posted a review of a monkey urinating in its own mouth

haha that jet review

but the fish promotion was a joke right

my instincts detect some undeserved promos have been given out............................

spill the details alach. i'll investigate

whoever thought it would be a good idea makin anarchofish ignimbrite or ipodmaster a contrib was
clearly smoking pcp

those were all me. sorry

dont even get me started on greg84 man that guy needs diversity training hes racist toward albums that arent auto 4.5s

gotta say im raging in side

hehe @ alach

Just plan on seeing more Meshuggah 1.5's and more Journey ass-kissing ;]

alach gave me his seal of approval once, I think that the staff and contribs should've really factored that in when reviewing my application ;)

"Yo, Its skele here blud."

shut. the. fuk. up.

'gratz, all.

@klap
but people unfortunately aren't all on sputnik's dick like they are on p4k's
honestly though the review was awesome, just not sure why it wasn't posted on one of your alts

i don't have any alts silly

you should make one
call it palk or something equally witty that no one would ever suspect is actually you

i never understood the concept

me neither but look at chan's simple plan review (idk which album or what account)
it can be useful for you staff folks to write krap

wasn't that a blog post and wasn't it posted under his main (and only) account?

"Just plan on seeing more Meshuggah 1.5's and more Journey ass-kissing ;]"

This is the worst possible combination of extremes though, man, come on

That was kinda the joke, but yeah

You were making fun of your own tastes? Sorry if I'm blatantly misunderstanding - I'm tired as hell, and my dorm room is impossible to fall asleep in right now. It's like a sauna in here =[

LIVIN IN A LONELY WORLD

no offence to fish, but how the hell did he get promoted off the back of that Iceage review?

@Omaha: More-so the fact that I don't suck Journey's dick as much as I used to and that Obzen's the only Meshuggah album I hate that much :P

journey rules keep on suckin that dick

Ah, I gotcha. I've never had too fond of an opinion on Journey, from the limited experiences I've had with them... Dat singer. I'm sure they have better stuff I havent heard though

Aids, nah it was a review. The blog post was something separate.
Let me just find it really quickly so I don't sound crazy

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/15162/Simple-Plan-Simple-Plan/

ah right. he's done stuff like that on his main profile. and anyway I'm not sure I what point you're trying to make.

I stopped having a point about halfway through that conversation.

"nine times out of ten, the issue is behavioral."

Nothing Shocking

aww no atari

LOL


Seriously how did riff not get promoted and fucking anarchistfish did


Like were you all stroking out while you were voting or are you just that retarded?

Instead of giving the guy who constantly adds stuff to the database credit. Stuff that no one else
would add let alone review.


Fuck that guy let's give credit to the guy who's only 5's are: The devil and god are raging inside me
and F# A#


seriously

this isn't rym miles

can't wait for a bunch of featured 2.5 fish reviews

Cogratulations to everybody who made it.

To be a Sputnik pro-editor (staff or otherwise) is an honor!

Yeah...promote riffoclock....lol

skele for mod

wabbit: no one likes you

Congrats folks. Look forward to reading!

Thanks guys : )

I just realized I don't think I've ever even seen Casablanca on this site.....

^ Yeah, same here

weird... well gratz anyways.

Never heard of em

Dude's written 8 reviews in 3 years but one of them was that really solid Rick Ross review

i've written 64 reviews since i started in august lol

atari for emeritus

i mean i didn't read the 8 reviews maybe they're fantastic but that just doesn't seem like very many reviews.

yeah i'm not banking on getting any sort of ghost promo based on what willie told me and based on what actually happened.

8 reviews in 3.5 years lol

I mean I would have bet 100 dollars that Alex Beebe wouldn't work out applying on the back of 9 reviews but he proved me wrong

8 reviews in 3.5 years lol

double post oh well still lol

@FromDaHood,

that's a good point. I guess time will tell

Alex got ghost promoted to contrib, dont count your chickens...

he's the only person who consistently reviews the top 40 and mainstream stuff though.

I think Sobhi wanted him

8 reviews in 3.5 years lol [3]