Site Promotions Finalized
2013-02-24 by Jom STAFF | 282 Comments

Hi, everybody.

In what was an intellectually stimulating and supremely engaging two weeks of deliberations (AKA the whole process took maybe about four minutes tops, although I may or may not be acting like a facetious sassypants here), the staffers and contributors perused the 60+ applications we received earlier this month... and decided not to promote anybody.

But because we can't exactly have that, we decided to promote everybody.

And because we couldn't do that, either, they settled on five new staff writers and fifteen new contributors for a perpetually sexy 1:3 staffer:contributor ratio (in the past, it's usually been 1:2). robertsona was added as a surprise sixth staffer for funsies (he had the easiest application to read).

Before I get to the promotions, I just want to say (as is tradition) that the promotions don't necessarily end here. There were a number of applicants who could have advanced to the next round of promotions, but something held these writers back temporarily, for now (nine times out of ten, the issue is behavioral. That odd 1-in-10 exception was simply not enough material to review -- a promotion could arrive when more material gets published, basically).

My obvious suggestion to the 9-times-out-of-10 individuals: continue to publish material and make it painfully obvious that you're making a legitimate effort to be a nice, upstanding citizen and not a vacuum for negative attention (but don't be saccharine sweet, because that's just not very nice)! Give it a couple weeks, maybe a month, maybe a bit longer... show no signs of lapsing... and you just never know when the ghost promotions appear, you know? The staffers (and contributors) are always observing.

Anyway, why so many promotions? Because reasons.

Link for the lazy: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/staff.php

New staffers:

greg84 (take a shot for every 4/5 review he publishes in 2013 and enjoy your liver failure!)
PaperbackWriter (replace "4/5" with "psychedelic")
OmahaStylee94
Angelofdeath
Voivod
robertsona (surprise!)

New contributors, staff picks:

carouse
Necrotica
StrangerofSorts
AnarchistFish
GnarlyShillelagh
Ignimbrite
Trebor17
MisterTornado
TheBrostepGuy
FromDaHood
Romulus
Hyperion1001
Casablanca

New contributors, contributor picks:

IpodMastery
insomniac15

---

A friendly reminder: the promotions don't necessarily stop here (I feel like I need to keep repeating this, not for comedic effect, BUT TO DRIVE A POINT HOME TO SOME OF YOU).

Congratulations on a job well done, everybody!

Twitter

Band Page: Sputnikmusic

Comments:Add a Comment 
Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

49788 Comments


I'd like to thank my English 091 teacher for showing me how to right good

Digging: Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) - You Will Eventually Be Forgotten

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9649 Comments


YEEEEEE

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


Boo.

Digging: Your Old Droog - Your Old Droog

Eclecticist
February 24th 2013

3863 Comments


This is sweet, there are some great users here that made staff and contributor! Congrats guys.

sixdegrees
February 24th 2013

16777 Comments


most of these people r cool

Digging: Ted Nugent - Shutup&jam!

CaptainDooRight
February 24th 2013

28321 Comments


gratz peepz

Digging: IQ - The Road of Bones

ReturnOfTheDnor
February 24th 2013

893 Comments


Dnor 4 Prez

tempest--
February 24th 2013

12594 Comments


Congratulations!

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20631 Comments


Wtf Snoxall didnt get staff this is bullshit

Digging: Fallujah - The Flesh Prevails

MisterTornado
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

4507 Comments


Shouts out to the entire Erstwhile gang couldn't have done it with you. ~ From Sputnik With Love ~

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


gratz dudes

Xenophanes
Emeritus
February 24th 2013

10585 Comments


"the staffers and contributors perused the 60+ applications we received earlier this month... and decided not to promote anybody.

But because we can't exactly have that, we decided to promote everybody."


So much truth to this.

Digging: United Nations - The Next Four Years

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


"greg84 (take a shot for every 4/5 review he publishes in 2013 and enjoy your liver failure!)
PaperbackWriter (replace "4/5" with "psychedelic")"
hahaha
would have about four more ha's had you written 4.5 instead of 4 though

Jom
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2634 Comments


I wouldn't make jokes if they weren't nice people. Voivod would have either taken it seriously or personally (or both)

(I keed, I keed.)

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

19437 Comments


yeah congrats everybody.

glad trebor and necrotica made it!

Digging: Musk Ox - Woodfall

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


andcas i'll vouch for you next time, no joke

how great would it be if we were both staff, duking it out on metacritic or whatever

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


Say hello to your new Ghost Staff member: Snoxy.

I'm actually staff, but I just disguise myself as a regular user as to avoid intimidating everyone.

XingKing
February 24th 2013

10034 Comments


Why no Atari? ROBBED I TELL YOU!

GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments


okay cool now #captain4staff

tempest--
February 24th 2013

12594 Comments


Atari, did you apply?

EyeForAnEye
February 24th 2013

1690 Comments


This is cool

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


also im sad the app thread was deleted i dont remember doing it but im pretty sure it was legendary

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

19437 Comments


@LloydNewgreen,

yeah i applied no worries man. I'll just keep reviewing because i enjoy it and maybe next time ;)

insomniac15
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

3331 Comments


Yeah! Finally! Hugs and kisses to the contributors who picked me.

Digging: Karma To Burn - Arch Stanton

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9649 Comments


"Why no Atari? ROBBED I TELL YOU!"

Agreed so fucking much. I'm glad I'm a contributor, but I really wanted Atari to get it too. I'm confused as to why he didn't get it

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

49788 Comments


I just realized Josh has a featured review and had one last week and didn't get promoted

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

19437 Comments


thanks for the kind words guys. i should prolly screw around on the site less : /

tempest--
February 24th 2013

12594 Comments


Yeah, I personally think that you're one of the best user reviewers on here.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


woah so many promotions, mostly good though. Congrats to some of you (you know who you is!!!!!!).

the news article is fucking gold though, Jom, never leave us. Overall I give this night a 4.5/5. "Like" if you agree.

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


nice to see hyp make it on

paperback writer has the fastest rise i've ever seen here, user to staff in less than two years

Digging: Unjust - Glow

BassDemon333
February 24th 2013

3350 Comments


I guess I'll just keep on trying to get a spot in the years to come. Congrats to all who were promoted.

tommygun
February 24th 2013

23569 Comments


yes yes yes paperback

Digging: Obliteration - Black Death Horizon

jesuslover46
February 24th 2013

578 Comments


jammin motorhead

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments


Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

19437 Comments


@Lloyd,

well thanks man i really appreciate it!

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I have a strange feeling it is my behaviour on this site that stopped me from a promotion to Contrib (as well as my writing probably not being good enough).

Who would have guessed?

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


"Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho" [2]

Michael: Is there any other possible reason?

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

18011 Comments


the year of wag has come

Digging: Autechre - Draft 7.30

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

49788 Comments


"paperback writer has the fastest rise i've ever seen here, user to staff in less than two years"

A few days less than one year actually

North0House2
February 24th 2013

5812 Comments


Cool stuff

Digging: The Number Twelve Looks Like You - Mongrel

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


Michael: Is there any other possible reason?

too much swag

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

19437 Comments


"Atari writes better reviews than Anarchistfish tho"

you guys can compliment me but leave poor fish out of this

CaptainDooRight
February 24th 2013

28321 Comments


haha thanks Gian, I never applied tho bro

but I am thinking about writing some more again, I've got tons of albums lined up

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


Oh God please don't start with the "______ writes better than _______"
These posts are always a mix of a) irrelevant opinions (obviously the people who matter thought otherwise) and b) popularity contests (if Atari weren't such a nice/cool user would you have been vouching for him? exactly)

Also sorry Snox looks like I might have cost ya a contrib spot ; )

SgtPepper
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

4380 Comments


Glad to see Omaha and Angel get their promotion.


Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Michael: Any that could reasonably apply to you?

Atari: It's the truth, dude.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


oblivious/delusional users are the most entertaining users

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


^

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


"GnarlyShillelagh"

lol who is this? I love your username. call me maybe?

Keyblade
February 24th 2013

14240 Comments


nice to see hyp make it on [2]

Digging: Phlebotomized - Immense, Intense, Suspense

Lucid
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7021 Comments


congratz on promotions

Digging: Shabazz Palaces - Lese Majesty

Jom
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2634 Comments


I can see both sides about some of the omissions. There are people who are extremely deserving (maybe even more so than some of the ones who did make it through this round), but unfortunately writing talent alone isn't the end-all be-all.

That's why I'm trying to indirectly hint (with the subtlety of a dump truck) to some of the people who've already posted in this thread that it's more than likely not a lack of talent or prowess, but a citizenship issue. Not citizenship in a to-a-country sense, but in site presence.

I don't want to get into details because it's more or less privileged communication, but the gist of it is this: when I say give it some time, continue to write, and maybe stretch out of your comfort zone by having more positive interactions on the site (rather than attracting a lot of negative attention your way, whether you think it's justified or not), I personally will favor that and push it to the staffers for consideration.

However, I also see the point about professionalism and how there is an expectation for how one should carry him/herself in a 'professional' (staff/contributor) writing position.

Take Titus Young for example. You could have discernible talent, but if you're just a fucking nutcase or you attract a bunch of negative attention because of the way you go about your business here, you're not going to last long as a professional... and if we're going to continue to be endorsed by professional sites, we can't have potentially unprofessional writers. Being a magnet for that sort of behavior (or acting like a Titus Young outright) might seem cool, but it goes against the grain of what we're trying to establish going forward.

I do appreciate people wanting to keep at it, though. Having a positive outlook and trying new things (e.g. providing feedback to users, especially new users) while continuing to hone your craft should lead to good things for you.

Jom
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2634 Comments


So, as an extension of that tl;dr post: you should absolutely get to pick how you use the site as you see fit. If you want, have two accounts. Use your troll account on Firefox and your 'professional' account on Chrome or something. I'm totally fine with that. If you guys can figure out what my troll account is, I'll give you a big avatar.

HINT: I'm not skeletor; I don't have a mustache.

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9649 Comments


Hyperbole King or CrandyNewman, maybe?

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


emslash

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


Jom is MichaelJordan.

bungy
February 24th 2013

8843 Comments


promoted to what site?


rym?

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20631 Comments


Grandpa seth

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Don't encourage them to be shitheads.

InFiction
February 24th 2013

3638 Comments


Congratulations everyone. If I'm still using the site in a year's time or so, I might actually apply. Gives me a while to contribute more.

Digging: Braid - No Coast

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I feel it's too late for me to try and redeem all the negative attention I receive here. Everyone hates me and I do not know how to reverse it. I think I just pissed everyone off with my sarcastic pretentiousness and pseudo-elitism.

What if I start reviewing on my other account that nobody knows about? That way I could start fresh.

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


I'll be honest with you Snoxall: half of these promotions are bullshit.

XingKing
February 24th 2013

10034 Comments


"I just pissed everyone off with my sarcastic pretentiousness and pseudo-elitism."

That's pretty much it right there. You've been cool lately though so just.. Don't be a dick! Eventually Cockballs (SKELE LIVES!!) will be synonymous with cool dude

bungy
February 24th 2013

8843 Comments


Michael it's because your comments suck

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


"I feel it's too late for me to try and redeem all the negative attention I receive here. Everyone hates me and I do not know how to reverse it. I think I just pissed everyone off with my sarcastic pretentiousness and pseudo-elitism. "

I know how to reverse it: stop making posts like this. Just review. Like I said before, if you never ever posted but only wrote reviews, you'd have easily been promoted.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


bungy, my kindred spirit



Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Michael: Or become Irving.

Or stop paying attention to them.

...

Or just use your other account!

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I understand now.

My words are bad.

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


jesis christ

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


stop

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20631 Comments


Michael applies directly for staff and is surprised when he doesnt get it

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I'm not even doing anything bad anymore though???? D:

ShadowRemains
February 24th 2013

20230 Comments


m/m/m/

fuck yeah hyp, angel, carouse...

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Insurrection: He could still be promoted to Contrib. Yep, you didn't like that move, get over it.

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


You didn't kiss enough Staff ass.

Jom
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2634 Comments


I think some of you might be too harsh on yourselves or jumping to conclusions way too quickly. All I can really say short of a promise is that if you choose to control the things you have some power over (i.e., your quality of reviews), you will get to where you want to be and meet your goals, rather than moving right away to self-defeating thoughts.

I will say this, though: if you let past transgressions (whatever they may be) overshadow present day, I will guarantee you continued failures in the future. The same advice can be applied to anywhere, especially with real-life interpersonal relationships.

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


Michael applies directly for staff and is surprised when he doesnt get it

Not really; none of my comments here express surprise. I never expected to get staff, my comments here merely express jokes at my own expense.


oh right, shutting up now *breaks keyboard*

bungy
February 24th 2013

8843 Comments


"Or become Irving"

No. Then I have to read more posts like this:


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAGAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGAGAH
HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAs 8)

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20631 Comments


"Insurrection: He could still be promoted to Contrib. Yep, you didn't like that move, get over it."

Guessing this is one of your alts huh

bungy
February 24th 2013

8843 Comments


express more of your feelings that's helping

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


my request of the new staffers: start blogging it up hardcore. that section of the site desperately needs some developing. I think that some consistent live music coverage or interactive lists or some quality word-vomit/musings would be a really nice addition to this site. We should start having more prominent features, you know, diversify and not be a website strictly for album reviews/general dumbfuck-ery.

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


"fuck yeah hyp, angel, carouse..." [2]

Bungy: Which is how one gets promoted! God, are you senile?

Michael: "oh right, shutting up now *breaks keyboard*" stop. Go review something.

GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments


I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature.

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I think some of you might be too harsh on yourselves or jumping to conclusions way too quickly.

Meet me in the McDonald's drive-thru at 8AM tomorrow morning to give me the run-down.

Guessing this is one of your alts huh

I have two alts: MiguelSnoxale (the account I made when this one was banned early on in my days using the site) and another one which I've used like once when I wanted to start the site as a new user to see how people reacted to me not knowing it was me.

It was a fun experiment.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


"I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature. "

serious? or......

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


I have two alts: MiguelSnoxale (the account I made when this one was banned early on in my days using the site) and another one which I've used like once when I wanted to start the site as a new user to see how people reacted to me not knowing it was me.

It was a fun experiment.


He wasn't talking to you.

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


Yeah, skele threatened to rape and kill my mother and girlfriend, he made fun of ViralOblivion's dead father, he posts troll reviews like that Justin Bieber one, he's made over 120 alt accounts after being banned constantly for his horrific behaviour, AND he posts too many reviews in one day and bumps off reviews that deserve more views. I think there's enough reason to keep reporting him.

bungy
February 24th 2013

8843 Comments


I've been vying for the position of Hammerhead Shark Authority for almost four years and nobody cares. Someone must already hold that title

"are you senile?"

are you new?


What Aids said about making the blog spiffier

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


(I can't edit)

Aids: 123

Insurrection: Nope, but you can believe that if you want to!

Gian: ¬°Free Skele!!1

ShadowRemains
February 24th 2013

20230 Comments


I have a strange feeling it is my behaviour on this site that stopped me from a promotion to Contrib (as well as my writing probably not being good enough).

Who would have guessed?


well no fucking shit

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20631 Comments


Im expecting a lotttt more trolling now that people are allowed to dick around on their alts. Should be entertaining to say the least.. plus now i can finally release the inner beast inside me

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


"if we're going to continue to be endorsed by professional sites, we can't have potentially unprofessional writers"

Then what about reviews like Klap's hilarious Owl City review? Surely that's not professional in any sense? I mean I see your overarching point, but that's about as unprofessional as they get.

GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments


joke.



I have two alts: MiguelSnoxale (the account I made when this one was banned early on in my days using the site) and another one which I've used like once when I wanted to start the site as a new user to see how people reacted to me not knowing it was me.



LIAR, MICHAELSNOTBALLS EEEHH??

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


He wasn't talking to you.

Well, it sure seemed like he was.

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


LIAR, MICHAELSNOTBALLS EEEHH??

Deviant. confirmed a few months ago that Snotballs was actually resident sputuser Lakes.

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


this site makes me chuckle

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Plot twists.

Storm In A Teacup
February 24th 2013

12687 Comments


These are great additions, especially the new Staffers. Congratulations everybody!

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


I'm not laughing Scoot.

GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments


this site is very creepy sooo goodbye fellas i'm taking a short vacation to rateyourmusic resort

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


take the rake out of your vagina

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


"plus now i can finally release the inner beast inside me" will be a shithead for 2 mins and realize nobody cares.

toxin.: It wasn't that unprofessional...

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


It's lodged. Deep.

iswimfast
February 24th 2013

1259 Comments


congratulations to everybody. hopefully this helps make the site continue to grow.

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


"toxin.: It wasn't that unprofessional..."
"Like having an orgasm and saving the rain forests at the same time!"
ummmm

Jom
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2634 Comments


Then what about reviews like Klap's hilarious Owl City review? Surely that's not professional in any sense? I mean I see your overarching point, but that's about as unprofessional as they get.


This could be a reasonable point, and is well met. However, you're looking at, presumably, one outlier out of 165 reviews altogether. Statistically, one or two (or ten) hiccups is not nearly as worrisome as someone who has over 9,000 banned accounts and is a perpetual nuisance 24/7/365/52.

That's not to say people who didn't make this cut are like that latter group. Think of it like a probationary period: for at least one of the applicants, a couple staffers wanted to see how this person would react to not being selected in February, track his progress over the next few weeks, and then we'd decide if we can add him later.

If he takes their advice and suggestions into consideration, he'd be rewarded. If not, there'd be no excuses, you know?

At least, that's how they explained it to me, and I'm paraphrasing.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


jesus christ you are all idiots

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


beautiful timing with that one aids, agreed

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


Oh be quiet Aids, it's been announced for an hour. We're allowed to be slightly irritated for an hour or two.

fromtheinside
February 24th 2013

17714 Comments


jom... ironically your explanation kinda gives away the intention yeah? they say fake it till you make
it right

Digging: Fallujah - The Flesh Prevails

Gyromania
February 24th 2013

15198 Comments


congrats to everyone =]

i'm going to try to pump out a few reviews and nab a late staff promotion (not likely, but MAYBE!?)

DarkNoctus
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

8741 Comments


]:

congrats everyone else but me though!

fromtheinside
February 24th 2013

17714 Comments


i'll read anything you write by chad kroeger gyro

that was not meant to sound that sexual at all


GiaNXGX
February 24th 2013

4867 Comments



congrats everyone else but me though!




I think it was the ':]' at the end of your reviews, life is not fair ]:

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


@Jom, I think that's certainly a fair enough point.

I originally intended Klap's review to be one specific case in a general trend that staff tends to be less professional when it comes to artists/albums collectively agreed to be crap, but looking at a few shitty artists in the last ten or so minutes showed that it's probably more a matter of confirmation bias than anything. And this latest batch of staff promotees is probably the most professional yet, so it's probably irrelevant anyways.

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


I'm just gonna continue my writing as always. I should have about three reviews coming up in a few days/weeks.

Oceanus
February 24th 2013

877 Comments


Congrats all. I must be out of touch -- I don't know who more than half of these kids are.

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


Recent is the wrong word u have failed the staff test

Gyromania
February 24th 2013

15198 Comments


lmao

Winesburgohio
February 24th 2013

1001 Comments


So much congratulations! I don't come here very often but the names i recognize absolutely deserve it. Bravo.

Digging: Wretched Excess - Away From This World

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


Review Irepress! Or Cocco!

MichaelSnoxall
February 24th 2013

12163 Comments


Recent is the wrong word u have failed the staff test


fuck I knew that didn't sound right

EDIT: whatchu talkin' 'bout, robertsona???

Irving
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7140 Comments


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA

8-)

Gyromania
February 24th 2013

15198 Comments


irving i almost never see you post anymore!

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


among all this wankery people are gonna overlook that the new Flaming Lips albums leaked and it is so so so so good

guys

new Flaming Lips album, it is super good

someone who got promoted: review it right now please and it better be a 4.5 or I'll get my man greg after you

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


posting tfu review tomorrow, should get me insta-staff

Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7970 Comments


Well, fuck




congrats I GUESS

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

23798 Comments


i know it's not officially out yet but get a promo or something. we are SPUTNIK, tremble at the sight of our mighty staff and contrib roster.

Scoot
February 24th 2013

17681 Comments


yaaaaaaa

NeoSpaz
February 24th 2013

4517 Comments


Congrats to all those who got it, especially Fish and Trebor!

nice job to all those who didn't get a position but had the balls to apply

breakingthefragile
February 24th 2013

2943 Comments


Big congratulations to everyone who got promoted! There's a pretty hefty contributor team now, and a lot of great and deserving new writers with a lot of ambition and talent that are a part of the team. I'm also obviously really happy for my homies that made staff, and I'll continue to keep persistently working hard so that I can join you guys on Olympus!

Digging: Glassjaw - Everything You Ever Wanted To Know...

greg84
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7308 Comments


Haha. Thanks a bunch. Let's get drunk together. I'm actually in the process of changing all these 4s to 3.9s so that the joke wouldn't make sense.

Congrats to everyone who got promoted.

Digging: Dog Fashion Disco - Sweet Nothings

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

20855 Comments


Greg, you do know that you are under strict orders that your 1st 3 reviews as a member of Staff must be in the genres of electro-pop, hip-hop & folk... And you still must adhere to the 3.9 - 4.1 range.

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

5911 Comments


Big congrats are in order for all applicants, promoted or not promoted in this round of promotions.

The site is definitely getting bigger and bigger in terms of the pool of good writers around.

Digging: Essence Beyond - Carnivalism

GnarlyShillelagh
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

5982 Comments



"GnarlyShillelagh"

lol who is this? I love your username. call me maybe?


Hah thanks aids, I've actually been wanting to change it for a bit now though.

I'm sure a lot of people won't recognize my name as I wasn't the most active user in 2012 but hopefully everyone enjoys the reviews I pump out this year. Thanks to Jom and the rest of the selection committee for the promotion and opportunity, I really really appreciate it.

tempest--
February 24th 2013

12594 Comments


I've been meaning to ask this for so long, how do you do that indent when quoting someone?

greg84
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7308 Comments


DaveyBoy:
You're killing me man, but seriously I've been thinking of reviewing some hip-hop for some time now. Damn. I wrote a blurb for Killer Mike's latest in the users' list and nobody has even noticed... So after all, it seems you hit the nail raight on the head.

SgtPepper
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

4380 Comments


@Aids
I was actually planning on reviewing it as I'm a big fan of The Flaming Lips, though I need to check if any other Staff member already has dibs on it. So this would be potential psychedelic shot #1.

StrangerofSorts
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2714 Comments


Super duper.

Sanders
February 24th 2013

2341 Comments


Congratulations all, can't believe it's been a year since the last round already

Jacquibim
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

13462 Comments


Glad Ipod made contrib.

Digging: Krusseldorf - Fractal World

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

21575 Comments


surprised atrink, andcas and atari didn't get it

Digging: Septicflesh - Communion

henryChinaski
February 24th 2013

2682 Comments


Cool man, congrats!

klap
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

10257 Comments


hey toxin it was professional satire these things are possible

Digging: The Bilinda Butchers - Heaven

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


jom is baselineooo can i have a big avatar now

Brostep
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

3339 Comments


WOOOOO

I may have to change my username to something completely different, though. We'll see.

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


ThePetsorbGuy

TMobotron
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7024 Comments


Grats to all

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


peteys orb thug

Tyrael
February 24th 2013

20728 Comments


Congrats to most of you yea

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

21575 Comments


I may have to change my username to something completely different, though [2]

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


pets get roby hu

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


'may have to change my username to something completely different, though [2]'
christ ana, fish
chin far as shit

Hep Kat
February 24th 2013

14995 Comments


another year...


and yet i shall rise up again on high like the mighty jeezus christoph waltz the jew hunting dentist

Digging: Merchandise - After The End

foxxxythnksustnk
February 24th 2013

2132 Comments


K, tap he

Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7970 Comments


I may have to change my username to something completely different, though. We'll see.


may I recommend mynameischan

ReturnToRock
February 24th 2013

3448 Comments


Congrats, all the people I know from that list deserve the promotion.

*Goes back to indefinite hiatus*

Metalstyles
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

8318 Comments


Congrats to all who got promoted.

I will continue improving and hope I'll get staff one day. In the meantime, I guess I'll enjoy my status as a veteran contributor.

NocteDominum
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

6934 Comments


Gotta say thanks for the opportunity guys : ) ill do you proud.

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

21575 Comments


I've still got work to do to get to the quality of writing I want to be at but thanks for the opportunity

Captain North
February 24th 2013

6779 Comments


I swear, I'm reading everything Jom is writing in my uncles voice. As in the whole older, wiser mentor stuff . Weird.

Captain North
February 24th 2013

6779 Comments


Fucken double posts, how do they work

VheissuCrisis
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

847 Comments


Wow, well played guys.

FelixCulpa
February 24th 2013

1237 Comments


Congrats to everyone who made the cut!

Calc
February 24th 2013

11975 Comments


I'm so...happy for you guys!!!!! :')

Congratulations

Digging: Kashiwa Daisuke - April. #02

DoubtGin
February 24th 2013

6748 Comments


sucks

StrangerofSorts
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2714 Comments


Congrats to everyone who made the cult

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9988 Comments


:'3

Digging: Deniro Farrar - Rebirth

Calc
February 24th 2013

11975 Comments


"i should prolly screw around on the site less : /"

I'd be inclined to agree but I don't think I do that much so it prolly was a lack of talent thing for me lol.

Damn.


Wombat988
February 24th 2013

388 Comments


Until Kill becomes Staff there is a huge injustice on this site

TheNotrap
February 24th 2013

7981 Comments


Congrats to everybody, specially Greg (great reviewer) and Voivod, the man that keeps metal alive and kicking around here.


Crysis
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

16246 Comments


Normally I'd shoutbox everyone individually but since we promoted half the site CONGRATZ EVERYONE LETS LISTEN TO SOME METAL AMIRITE

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

5911 Comments


I'll drink to that.



and Voivod, the man that keeps metal alive and kicking around here.

thanks man but one correction is in order: in place of "metal", place "obscure metal", because there is a ton of good writers already covering metal releases and stuff.

Willie
Moderator
February 24th 2013

15876 Comments


Now... who wants to be mod???

Digging: Emperor - In The Nightside Eclipse - 20th Year Anniversary

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

16246 Comments


how many anacrusis, queensryche, and public enemy albums must i 5 to get this



because i will 5 them all

evilford
February 24th 2013

21168 Comments


Sweet congrats ppl. Great choices overall and I've always thought Angel should be staff anyways so there we go

Digging: Demilich - 20th Adversary of Emptiness

menawati
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

15787 Comments


grats to all good choices there

Digging: Synaesthesia (UK) - Synaesthesia

JustJoe
February 24th 2013

1399 Comments


Good job ppl u make us proud.

Ignimbrite
February 24th 2013

5293 Comments


WHAT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Apollo
February 24th 2013

10266 Comments


Congrats Ignim, Angel and Hyp

WHAT THE FUCK is Trebor doing as a contrib. Fuck that noise.

mindleviticus
February 24th 2013

8162 Comments


Oh well, maybe next time

scissorlocked
February 24th 2013

3508 Comments


congratulations guys

Digging: John Roberts - Ausio

Sanders
February 24th 2013

2341 Comments


"Now... who wants to be mod???"

I would come down on these fools with my witticism-engraved ban hammer

wabbit
February 24th 2013

6978 Comments


10/10

gg wp

atrink
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

2809 Comments


Bummer. I'll keep reviewing and what not. Ill just ask for every review I write to be featured ;)

But seriously though, congrats to everyone who was promoted!


Shuyin
February 24th 2013

11162 Comments


congratulations!!





fuckers..

Digging: Blut Aus Nord - Memoria Vetusta II: Dialogue with the Stars

731
February 24th 2013

662 Comments


angel, robertsona, carouse, romulus,hyperion



MO
February 24th 2013

18229 Comments


some of these new contribs are lol

congrats to paperback, angel, carouse, hyp, wyan, ipod, insomniac

Digging: Immolation - Dawn of Possession

FromDaHood
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9033 Comments


Oh man guys I had the worst night last night and the fact that nobody has explicitly said "FromDaHood sucks" really has me vibing.

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9988 Comments


You clearly suck, judging by that awful title you now have! Shame!

taxidermist
February 24th 2013

7195 Comments


Congrats to all the new staffers and contribs.

ProjectFreak
February 24th 2013

1293 Comments


tbh i thought paperback was staff already
congrats all

AtomicWaste
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

1981 Comments


Congrats to all promoted!

Digging: Rx Bandits - Gemini, Her Majesty

bloc
February 24th 2013

34669 Comments


Hmm, some of the usernames don't ring any bells, but good picks in general; all well deserved.

Digging: Anberlin - Lowborn

clercqie
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

6360 Comments


Congrats to all of you fellas!

Digging: Shackleton - Deliverance Series No. 1

HSThomas
February 24th 2013

668 Comments


Tbh I'm expecting every review that Greg writes about something that isn't stoner rock, to be him calling it avant-garde.

But in all seriousness congrats to everyone, except Jom but only because he dissed the third Cold album.

Asdfp277
February 24th 2013

945 Comments


I was convinced breakingthefragile got staff'd, hmmm....

Hey, now metal has a chance of being in the end-year staff list!

Kris.
February 24th 2013

12147 Comments


josh fountain should have made contrib and i find it to be a travesty that he didn't
but to the rest of you


good luck

don't suck

Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7970 Comments


I agree with Kris on all accounts

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


We'll keep working and land it, Josh.

YankeeDudel
February 24th 2013

9305 Comments


Angel is a good dude but he never writes reviews. How did he get promoted or is it just cuz hes awesome?

Digging: DJ Spooky - Songs Of A Dead Dreamer

SadAndHolyGlow
February 24th 2013

1499 Comments


Yeah, Voivod!

Digging: Jacobi Wichita - Bonez Malone

SteelErectedb4you8er
February 24th 2013

2613 Comments


Cheers to Greg and Voivod! Everyone else too, y'all are good and will do well.

Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7970 Comments


We got this, guest

someguest
February 24th 2013

20286 Comments


^

Jethro42
February 24th 2013

12375 Comments


Congrats to everybody who got promoted. Greg and Voivod for staff! YaY

70sPriestIsBetter
February 24th 2013

1934 Comments


"I think you should stop reporting skeletor, what's the point? He's a poor guy that is trying to find comfort in reviewing and you just keep reporting every freagin site-action he engages with, regardless of nature."

agreed, i might call him out when his alts are obvious but reporting him is dumb. i don't see why they dont just unban the original skele

EaglesBecomeVultures
February 24th 2013

5187 Comments


but the fish promotion was a joke right

Digging: Merchandise - After The End

demigod!
February 24th 2013

43843 Comments


I feel so insecure having so many sputnik peers be contrib now
i liked it better when they were all people i didnt know

Digging: Black Flag - My War

70sPriestIsBetter
February 24th 2013

1934 Comments


who honestly cares about a few red letters

toxin.
February 24th 2013

12019 Comments


"hey toxin it was professional satire these things are possible"
klap ily and that review ruled, but... well we can agree it was satire.

tragic.details
February 24th 2013

624 Comments


Congrats to all who were promoted.

Romulus
February 24th 2013

8411 Comments


i appreciate this site because it for some reason gives me positive reinforcement for posting music reviews under the name 'super grover'.

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


lol rommy youre the best

Ovrot
February 24th 2013

10460 Comments


sweet picks

My sputnik fantasy looks good

Digging: Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene

heyadam
February 24th 2013

1704 Comments


congrats guys

Digging: Anberlin - Lowborn

klap
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

10257 Comments


@toxin i mean pitchfork once posted a review of a monkey urinating in its own mouth

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

21575 Comments


haha that jet review

but the fish promotion was a joke right

Yeah

LOL

alachlahol
February 24th 2013

7471 Comments


my instincts detect some undeserved promos have been given out............................

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


spill the details alach. i'll investigate

alachlahol
February 24th 2013

7471 Comments


whoever thought it would be a good idea makin anarchofish ignimbrite or ipodmaster a contrib was
clearly smoking pcp

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

14986 Comments


those were all me. sorry

alachlahol
February 24th 2013

7471 Comments


dont even get me started on greg84 man that guy needs diversity training hes racist toward albums that arent auto 4.5s

alachlahol
February 24th 2013

7471 Comments


gotta say im raging in side

Ignimbrite
February 24th 2013

5293 Comments


hehe @ alach

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 24th 2013

9649 Comments


Just plan on seeing more Meshuggah 1.5's and more Journey ass-kissing ;]

Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
February 24th 2013

7970 Comments


alach gave me his seal of approval once, I think that the staff and contribs should've really factored that in when reviewing my application ;)

Calc
February 24th 2013

11975 Comments


"Yo, Its skele here blud."

shut. the. fuk. up.

DarthMann
February 24th 2013

13476 Comments


how i was not picked is beyond me

KjSwantko
February 24th 2013

9052 Comments


'gratz, all.

DarthMann
February 24th 2013

13476 Comments


omg lol alach

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


@klap
but people unfortunately aren't all on sputnik's dick like they are on p4k's
honestly though the review was awesome, just not sure why it wasn't posted on one of your alts

klap
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

10257 Comments


i don't have any alts silly

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


you should make one
call it palk or something equally witty that no one would ever suspect is actually you

klap
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

10257 Comments


i never understood the concept

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


me neither but look at chan's simple plan review (idk which album or what account)
it can be useful for you staff folks to write krap

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

23798 Comments


wasn't that a blog post and wasn't it posted under his main (and only) account?

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9988 Comments


"Just plan on seeing more Meshuggah 1.5's and more Journey ass-kissing ;]"

This is the worst possible combination of extremes though, man, come on

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9649 Comments


That was kinda the joke, but yeah

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9988 Comments


You were making fun of your own tastes? Sorry if I'm blatantly misunderstanding - I'm tired as hell, and my dorm room is impossible to fall asleep in right now. It's like a sauna in here =[

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9649 Comments


LIVIN IN A LONELY WORLD

Keyblade
February 25th 2013

14240 Comments


no offence to fish, but how the hell did he get promoted off the back of that Iceage review?

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9649 Comments


@Omaha: More-so the fact that I don't suck Journey's dick as much as I used to and that Obzen's the only Meshuggah album I hate that much :P

Kris.
February 25th 2013

12147 Comments


journey rules keep on suckin that dick

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9988 Comments


Ah, I gotcha. I've never had too fond of an opinion on Journey, from the limited experiences I've had with them... Dat singer. I'm sure they have better stuff I havent heard though

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


Aids, nah it was a review. The blog post was something separate.
Let me just find it really quickly so I don't sound crazy

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/15162/Simple-Plan-Simple-Plan/

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

23798 Comments


ah right. he's done stuff like that on his main profile. and anyway I'm not sure I what point you're trying to make.

toxin.
February 25th 2013

12019 Comments


I stopped having a point about halfway through that conversation.


DarthMann
February 25th 2013

13476 Comments


lets speak professionally here jom it was my behaviour that stopped me from getting modadmin my application was sound safe secure

omnipanzer
February 25th 2013

21418 Comments


"nine times out of ten, the issue is behavioral."

Nothing Shocking

Digging: Grant Lee Buffalo - Fuzzy

Hospital
February 25th 2013

2024 Comments


aww no atari

Digging: Jawbreaker - 24 Hour Revenge Therapy

wabbit
February 25th 2013

6978 Comments


LOL


Seriously how did riff not get promoted and fucking anarchistfish did


Like were you all stroking out while you were voting or are you just that retarded?

wabbit
February 25th 2013

6978 Comments


Instead of giving the guy who constantly adds stuff to the database credit. Stuff that no one else
would add let alone review.


Fuck that guy let's give credit to the guy who's only 5's are: The devil and god are raging inside me
and F# A#


seriously

klap
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

10257 Comments


this isn't rym miles

EaglesBecomeVultures
February 25th 2013

5187 Comments


can't wait for a bunch of featured 2.5 fish reviews

Cryio
February 25th 2013

96 Comments


Cogratulations to everybody who made it.

To be a Sputnik pro-editor (staff or otherwise) is an honor!

DarthMann
February 25th 2013

13476 Comments


thats not saying much tho potsy lol

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

14986 Comments


Yeah...promote riffoclock....lol

evilford
February 25th 2013

21168 Comments


skele for mod

Ignimbrite
February 25th 2013

5293 Comments


wabbit: no one likes you

eleventhsun
February 25th 2013

1475 Comments


Congrats folks. Look forward to reading!

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9649 Comments


Thanks guys : )

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

19437 Comments


I just realized I don't think I've ever even seen Casablanca on this site.....

FiveLeavesLeft
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9649 Comments


^ Yeah, same here

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

19437 Comments


weird... well gratz anyways.

Storm In A Teacup
February 25th 2013

12687 Comments


Never heard of em

FromDaHood
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9033 Comments


Dude's written 8 reviews in 3 years but one of them was that really solid Rick Ross review

sixdegrees
February 25th 2013

16777 Comments


damn, it's that easy to make contrib?

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

19437 Comments


i've written 64 reviews since i started in august lol

SlMBOLlC
February 25th 2013

4831 Comments


atari for emeritus

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

19437 Comments


i mean i didn't read the 8 reviews maybe they're fantastic but that just doesn't seem like very many reviews.

Calc
February 25th 2013

11975 Comments


yeah i'm not banking on getting any sort of ghost promo based on what willie told me and based on what actually happened.

evilford
February 25th 2013

21168 Comments


8 reviews in 3.5 years lol

FromDaHood
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

9033 Comments


I mean I would have bet 100 dollars that Alex Beebe wouldn't work out applying on the back of 9 reviews but he proved me wrong

evilford
February 25th 2013

21168 Comments


8 reviews in 3.5 years lol

double post oh well still lol

Atari
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

19437 Comments


@FromDaHood,

that's a good point. I guess time will tell

NocteDominum
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

6934 Comments


Alex got ghost promoted to contrib, dont count your chickens...

Calc
February 25th 2013

11975 Comments


he's the only person who consistently reviews the top 40 and mainstream stuff though.

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
February 25th 2013

21575 Comments


I think Sobhi wanted him

evilford
February 25th 2013

21168 Comments


8 reviews in 3.5 years lol [3]



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