|LL Cool J Breaks A Face|
2012-08-24 by John Cruz | 76 Replies | 3527 Views
LL Cool J went berserk on some poor transient who broke into his home Wednesday morning at 2:00am and tried to front on the notoriously fit and worked out rap star/movie star/tv star/business man/ladies man/weekend baller,and husband and father.
According to police it's "three strikes" and you're out for the bloodied and battered Jonathan A. Kirby, who took a vicious smack down at the hands of LL after tripping the house alarm as LL and his cool wife and cool kids slept. Kirby was rushed to hospital with some pretty cool injuries, too. Broken jaw, nose, and ribs according to official reports. And who knows, could be more! Sounds like a hook, jab, and uppercut to the ribs to this scribe. And have you seen LL's rock hard body? Woe to this perp,indeed.
Kirby is a two time loser with a history of violence and two prior felony convictions under his belt. That's two strikes, Kirb. If convicted on this latest incident the broke face loser can see up to 38 years in prison under Cali's "3 Strike" law. Which I am sure is fine with The Cool One himself.
This reporter rode his motorcycle to the home of LL a day after the incident to see if LL wanted to comment on the whole shebang. But I got scared and just rode past. At least my face is still pretty.
why is it when the news is edited the format gets all messed up on the page? i can't seem to correct it, either. meh
wut is this lol
Because you either used Chrome or Safari.
its music news from the home of one of our most beloved entertainers.
its chrome. brb with ff
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This was hilarious.
Fantastic news, and well reported
Not enough paragraphs about his abs, reported
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Andcas take note, this is how you write unimportant news and make it worth reading
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He'll still fail.
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posting in fuckin jxd news
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Hahaha I love you John.
This article is almost as funny as that time Chan did that thing
Andcas take note, this is how you write unimportant news and make it worth reading (2)
LL's the man.
this is one of the best news posts i've seen in a very, very, very long time
Mama said knock you out
ladies love cool james.
Mama said knock you out 
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I didn't laugh. It's not funny.
So that's why he never dies in movies. Good job.
good 'ol LL
"Andcas take note, this is how you write unimportant
news and make it worth reading"
no one forces you to read my news and just cause it's
not important to you doesn't mean anything so piss off.
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yawn - gossip style writing is too easy.
not enough of you even know who john is
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Only 2 'Mama said knock you out' comments? Come on, smutnik
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lollololol "his cool wife and his cool kids"
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Best news article, JXD. It's good to see you on the inferior section of the site again, brought the laughs for sure.
lol thats awesome!
wonder if the guy actually knew it was ll cool j's house.
The three strike thing sucks hard
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how dumb do you have to be to commit three felonies.
"how dumb do you have to be to commit three felonies."
Pretty sure I've committed hundreds of felonies and gotten away with it.
^ Yeah I'm guessing most of those are rape.
lol this article is awesome...
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hahaha this is brilliant
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Anyone say MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT yet?
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"Anyone say MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT yet?"
its been said. unfortunately this reporter could not think of the title of the song at the time to pun it. good thing.....
I don't know what I just read, but I liked it.
Needs more roundhouse kicks
Just rob Van Damme's house for those
i hate this fucking website
I nearly broke a few girls faces tonight. 4 of them jumped my friend who I was walking beside and I was pulling them off her throwing girl after girl and they kept coming. I only got punched in the face once by them and I didn't get mad cuz I didn't even feel it lol.
He's only doin what mama told him to.
"^ Yeah I'm guessing most of those are rape."
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This is why I hate this place.
hate a website? so much energy wasted on something which can't know
or care :/
Storm In A Coffee Mug got beat up by a gang of womens lol. now that is news!
well there was never a stringent atmosphere to the staff. they do want the website to be enjoyable after all especially considering this is a user run community.
if someone breaks into your home while you sleep, you should have every vote to unleash a wrath of fury at your leisure and to your liking. Saw I-VII style even
Kirby's a bitch, if that was me LL woulda ended up my little bitch. And be wearing a dog collar so he knows who his master is
is there a continuing story, here? are some questioning his actions? that would be dumb. imo he could
have killed the guy and i would still be ok with it. not flat out murder him, but if he hit the guy or
shot the guy in self defense and the guy dies, who cares? the man is in his home and i agree...if
someone breaks in in the middle of the night w/e happens to them short of flat out murder is on them
hahahaha this sounds as funny as the time when people thought it would be funny to break into footballer duncan fergusons house.
"who lives here i wonder? probably some rich nonce"
*enters house and sees LL coming down the stairs towards him*
"Kirby's a bitch, if that was me LL woulda ended up my little bitch. And be wearing a dog collar so he knows who his master is"