Prince ends the internet
2010-07-07 by Mark Campbell | 77 Comments

In what many individuals (meaning Wikipedia) have described as "signs of early Alzheimers" and "a facepalm of epic proportions", Prince has ended his long struggle to stop people from listening to his music by officially declaring the internet dead.

"The internet is completely over," Prince proclaimed in an interview with the UK's Daily Mirror newspaper, which was later posted onto the website with no apparent delay. "I don't see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won't pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can't get it.

"The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good.

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

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Band Page: Prince

Comments:Add a Comment 
StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


I just thought "Oh my God, he's finally lost it" when I read this and had to write a suitably ridiculous news article.

Digging: United Nations - The Next Four Years

Helvete
July 7th 2010

1354 Comments


lol

crazyblinddude
July 7th 2010

3389 Comments


Article is pretty funny

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


The really tragic thing is he actually said all of that word-for-word. Album will probably be modern Prince, meaning 10% awesome, 55% decent and 35% awful

Captain North
July 7th 2010

6768 Comments


objective journalism itt

Eclectic
July 7th 2010

3302 Comments


the album will be available worldwide via trained flocks of pigeons.

I laughed hard, article rules


Douglas
July 7th 2010

9049 Comments


awesome write up

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


If he did a digital distribution/multiple-format thing like NIN and Radiohead did he would rake in tons of money on every new record. He could make tons off the internet if he just kept up with the ongoing trends once in a blue and used it to his advantage. Instead he's pulling this "stodgy old fucker" routine and it's just embarrassing to watch

scotish
July 7th 2010

835 Comments


whehehe

ThePalestMexican
July 7th 2010

2816 Comments


Lol worthy

Satellite
July 7th 2010

20673 Comments


Well, it's been real, guys, but we all knew this day would come.

R.I.P. the Internet

Digging: Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels

Parallels
July 7th 2010

6640 Comments


wait i thought prince was a symbol now?

cvlts
July 7th 2010

8954 Comments


cool story bro.

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

not good at all.

IRAI
July 7th 2010

1567 Comments


i think i miss the internet already.

Emim
July 7th 2010

26467 Comments


Numbers aren't good for anyone.

Apollo
July 7th 2010

10239 Comments


Prince is one messed up dude. Fantastic musician and songwriter though.

JWT155
July 7th 2010

9205 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

BallsToTheWall
July 7th 2010

44164 Comments


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ycvf9E2cjRs

Tits McGee
July 7th 2010

1876 Comments


i agree with prince

cvlts
July 7th 2010

8954 Comments


haha

Prolapse
July 7th 2010

4370 Comments


title made me laugh

Apollo
July 7th 2010

10239 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

is that a lost reference?

JWT155
July 7th 2010

9205 Comments


Yes it was... brotha.

Apollo
July 7th 2010

10239 Comments


nice, I just started watching that show about a month ago. Been obsessed with it, almost done Season 2

vanderb0b
July 7th 2010

3473 Comments


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

rofl

Skybreaker
July 7th 2010

622 Comments


Prince isn't even relevant anymore

ButcheredChildren
July 7th 2010

5591 Comments


well he may not like technology but at least he loves basketball

Satellite
July 7th 2010

20673 Comments


4 8 15 16 23 42

Nice.

Thor
July 7th 2010

10168 Comments


Pretty sure the internet is more relevant than Prince

omgraptors
July 7th 2010

813 Comments


"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

Numbers. They fill your head. Its not good for you.

MonsieurGabriel
July 7th 2010

15 Comments


His comparison with MTV is completely useless and false.. Had he said something like ''SputnikMusic used to be hip but now nobody gives a shit'' then it would have made more sense... That was just an example though =)

Tyler
Emeritus
July 7th 2010

7928 Comments


Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

Ewednesday
July 7th 2010

120 Comments


What do you mean of course the Internet Is irelevant I mean justin Bieber was telling me the same thing from his north Korean hotel the other day....


FelixCulpa
July 7th 2010

1236 Comments


He's starting to sound like the ICP guys with comments like

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."



Edit, sorry bout that, thought it would show up in a column not in a long line. Anyhow it was just the quote in binary code.

Prolapse
July 7th 2010

4370 Comments


omfg you fucking douche edit that

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


WTF EDIT POLICE

Outnumbered
July 7th 2010

370 Comments


ahaha

Prolapse
July 7th 2010

4370 Comments


yeah you bitch

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


Mods had to edit my article just in case Prince sees it and ends sputnik's interbutts

LepreCon
July 7th 2010

3562 Comments


Prince isn't even relevant anymore

Yeah and totally not hip anymore, fans need to get with the times

FelixCulpa
July 7th 2010

1236 Comments


With an avatar like that I think it's best to edit FAST!

Titan50
July 7th 2010

4588 Comments


Fucking internet. How does it work

Titan50
July 7th 2010

4588 Comments


Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN, free with the Saturday edition of the UK's Daily Mirror on July 10.

rofl


This is actually true

Nagrarok
July 7th 2010

8168 Comments


BUT THE INTERNET IS STILL HERE!

Urinetrouble
July 7th 2010

5754 Comments


prince is mental

LepreCon
July 7th 2010

3562 Comments


Knock knock
Who's there?
Prince
Prince who?
Prince the Jehovah's Witness, may I come in?
Certainly
Really?
No

RosaParks
July 7th 2010

14592 Comments


I agree with him. The internet has become a bore.

Romulus
July 7th 2010

8409 Comments


My internet connection's pretty faulty so it goes out every once in a while, but it happened like 20 minutes after I saw this and I was like GODDAMN PRINCE

synergy
July 7th 2010

151 Comments


I think Prince has found the fountain of youth. The guy hasn't aged in 20 years

Quen
July 7th 2010

1633 Comments


Prince is officially the coolest person ever.

MUNGOLOID
July 7th 2010

4275 Comments


the internet can't possibly as dead as his ass cheeks.

sEby146
July 7th 2010

177 Comments


Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

lol ya

tripleb2k
July 7th 2010

217 Comments


'this bores me'... Chappelle ruined anything to do with Prince. I can only thing of his Zorro get up saying this lol

GibTG
July 7th 2010

279 Comments


Not even Prince is going to be able to save the newspaper business.

bailar11
July 7th 2010

2433 Comments


want some pancakes?

[img]http://vicariousmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/_dave_chappelle_as_prince.jpg[/img]

Satellite
July 7th 2010

20673 Comments


Game... blouses.

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
July 7th 2010

30858 Comments


wait i thought prince was a symbol now?

The artist formerly known as The artist formerly known as Prince

Prince is talented enough for him to be batshit insane.

This, but:

"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

The new album has numbers in its name

Digging: Calyx and Teebee - FabricLive.76

quicksilver050
July 7th 2010

127 Comments


Maybe now I can finally post a video I filmed at Warped Tour in 08 when gym class heroes did a cover of "when doves cry". I tried to post it on YouTube, but then it got taken down, because Prince did not condone it... lame.

PoodleRapist
July 7th 2010

248 Comments


but if the internet's dead wouldn't all our comments cease to exi

StrizzMatik
July 7th 2010

3172 Comments


Oh shi-

ant4tbc
July 8th 2010

373 Comments


it this going to last forever?

paxman
July 8th 2010

4084 Comments


Thought this was going to say he made a sex tape and that it ruined the internet forever.

VonManHead
July 8th 2010

179 Comments


So Prince cares more about getting paid than having people hear his music? That actually kinda surprised me.

Gajarigon
July 8th 2010

45 Comments


>>"They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
>>Prince will release a brand new album, 20TEN

>"numbers can't be good for you."
> 20TEN

Prince is an overrated piece of garbage who should've stopped making music a long time ago.

kenlacam
July 8th 2010

24 Comments


R.I.P Internet. It's official, Prince says it's dead, it must be dead (like his career)

StrizzMatik
July 8th 2010

3172 Comments


Prince is an overrated piece of garbage who should've stopped making music a long time ago.

STFU noob

DestroyHim
July 8th 2010

173 Comments


prince:1 world:0

JacobsLadder
July 8th 2010

554 Comments


Jajajajajaj

CrazyFool84
July 8th 2010

1080 Comments


This conjures up images of the elderly yelling at the TV.

discoloredrainbow
July 8th 2010

17 Comments


He's just mad because his fingers produce an unhealthy amount of dust every time he touches a key on the keyboard. He's almost dead so he wants to bring the internet down with him. Misery loooooves that company, man.

Synesthete
July 8th 2010

240 Comments


Prince wins one free internet.

...

is that how you do meme jokes?

Klekticist
July 8th 2010

1258 Comments


lol memes.
lol prince

Digging: Nils Frahm - Wintermusik

AnvilJ
July 9th 2010

124 Comments


Should have picked the Big Issue.

StrizzMatik
July 9th 2010

3172 Comments


20Ten leaked, onto the internet even!

Edit: Joke's on us really. 20Ten is the best thing he's done in forever

zulop
July 11th 2010

162 Comments


Holy shit, i laughed so damn hard

like a cat
July 11th 2010

133 Comments


"The internet is completely over," Prince proclaimed in an interview with the UK's Daily Mirror newspaper, which was later posted onto the website with no apparent delay."

ROFL

"The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip"
use of the word hip= statement invalid.

Counterfeit
July 11th 2010

17819 Comments


How?...

@like a cat



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