Brainiac   Bonsai Superstar
3.9
excellent
Ranking: #67 for 1994

 Full ReviewRatings (110) Give your Rating

4.5 superbNeroCorleone80 | December 16th 15

This is where Brainiac came into their own, amazing album.

1 Bumps | Bump

3.5 greatBedex | September 18th 22

Honestly I fail to see how this is 0.6 avg better than LP1. It feels very similar in that it
is cool, interesting gritty weirdcore stuff that I enjoyed listening to but probably won't
listen back to very often. I enjoyed some of the noisiest sections e.g. 5 quite a lot, 6 is
really upbeat and bouncy but the vocals were a bit too weird for me, then after two pretty
decent tracks it was all starting to be a bit much for me. By 11 I was really no longer
convinced. The early album tho feels quite a bit stronger than LP1. Overall I feel about the
same, a solid 3.6

Bump

4.0 excellentSupercoolguy64 | November 5th 16

Weirdo spazz-indie shit. That Tim Taylor sure knew how to make a silly voice when he sang. Is his voice being played through a moog synthesizer on that first track? Maybe, those guys sure did like to make themselves sound like alien transmissions. Speaking of "Collide" sounds like that one time I was staring at a analog TV screen playing nothing but pure static and barley, just barley could I see someone inside of it. "Fucking With The Altmeter" is the ultimate stalker/suicidal break-up song ever written that features lyrics about a dude who dies in a violent plane crash or something. Give me some love and play this album when I fuck you in the ass, then maybe I wont be so sexually frustrated. So sad Tim died like a mortal human being, no one even remember who these guys are, and they were great. The hands of a genius is so cold...

Bump

3.5 greatIndomitable | October 19th 25
4.5 superbFurtherDown | April 8th 25
3.5 greatto have ambitions was my ambition | April 7th 25
4.5 superbMatty CONTRIBUTOR | April 7th 25
4.0 excellentMitch Worden EMERITUS | February 5th 25
4.5 superbfromrows | October 21st 24
4.0 excellentWav0fmutilation | May 15th 24
4.0 excellentmay return if norma is reinstated EMERITUS | February 1st 24
3.5 greatJimmy, Senior Vice President of Mediumcore | January 18th 24
3.5 greatNot being able to imagine myself as the subject of a love song spoils my enjoyment | January 10th 24
3.5 greatdoofy | January 9th 24
4.0 excellentJeanfreddy Gutierrez | January 7th 24
3.5 greatfoxxxy | November 14th 23
3.5 greatKuyJuk | November 2nd 23
3.0 goodCamiloG | October 26th 23
4.0 excellentCasavir | August 26th 23
4.5 superbSlothy Seconds | August 22nd 23
4.0 excellentVagueandBrief | May 16th 23
5.0 classicSTIGMATIZED | February 19th 23
3.5 greatYankeeDudel | February 16th 23
3.5 greatIsley Browne | January 7th 23
3.0 goodXSebbyMcMuffinX | December 26th 22
4.5 superbXXMurdaBeatzXX | October 20th 22
3.5 greatSesame Street traditionalist | July 9th 22
4.0 excellentrobertsona EMERITUS | March 29th 22
3.5 greatasphinctersayswhat | November 29th 21
2.5 averageAdamMontanari | November 21st 21
4.0 excellentmulletguy16 | August 29th 21
3.5 greati guess i'll just do it all again differently the next time. | April 8th 21
3.5 greatBrock619 | March 26th 21
3.0 goodcb123 | March 22nd 21
3.5 greatkkarron | March 21st 21
4.5 superbbloaf38 | December 28th 20
5.0 classicDashBoi | November 9th 20
5.0 classicPiogeedieg | September 12th 20
3.5 greatpornogrindtheater | August 14th 20
4.0 excellentfight the misfortune | April 13th 20
3.5 greatswallowtales | February 4th 20
4.0 excellentYou say proto-this, I say post-that, lets call the whole thing skronk | August 7th 19
3.0 goodfog | May 21st 19
4.0 excellentSpluger | January 23rd 19
3.5 greatwidowslaugh123 | September 2nd 18
3.0 gooddiscovolante | April 16th 18
3.0 goodF1i2s3c4h5e6r7 | February 12th 18
3.5 greatrifkadm | February 9th 18
4.0 excellentCaimanJesus | January 18th 18
4.5 superbSpliffhanger67 | September 21st 17
4.0 excellenthadeserbonfa | July 23rd 17
3.5 greatChortles | May 6th 17
4.0 excellentJokineAugustus | May 1st 17
4.5 superbAnkit | February 28th 17
3.0 goodHerbie Chrost | January 16th 17
3.5 greatbmelt | October 14th 16
3.5 greatceart go leor im droim | October 10th 16
5.0 classicSaturnica | September 26th 16
4.0 excellentSandwichBubble | August 13th 16
3.5 greatDoofusWainwright | July 1st 16
4.0 excellentAnimadversion | May 10th 16
3.5 greatSurfWaxAmerica | May 5th 16
4.5 superbtowriteair | April 10th 16
4.5 superbRegulatorWatts | March 16th 16
3.5 greatjtswope | March 15th 16
3.5 greattmthycnnlly | March 14th 16
4.5 superbFranticDisemboweler | March 13th 16
4.0 excellenthttps://jomageddon.wordpress.com/2025/06/28/sputnikmusic-staff-exodus/ https://jomageddon.wordpress. | March 2nd 16
4.5 superbMaroCalidius86 | February 27th 16
5.0 classicCyan isn't a shade of blue. | February 20th 16
4.0 excellentPunk is just alternative with attitude | February 7th 16
4.0 excellentTom R. EMERITUS | February 3rd 16
4.5 superbAnimalsAsSummit | December 21st 15
3.5 greatrovert620 | September 13th 15
3.5 greatcharlesdivision | August 23rd 15
4.0 excellentSnacktimeguy | July 2nd 15
4.0 excellentExitOnly | March 30th 15
5.0 classic"Tab" | November 29th 14
5.0 classicAcidCaravan | November 8th 14
4.5 superbElviGemini | August 24th 14
4.5 superbibringyoufire | July 1st 14
3.5 greatWackyHades374 | March 17th 14
4.0 excellentfitb | January 5th 14
4.0 excellentSatansSecretary | November 4th 13
4.0 excellentdeathprofessa47 | April 24th 13
4.0 excellentmrfixit | April 3rd 13
3.5 greatOddball464 | February 3rd 13
4.0 excellent4N4LB34D5 | October 26th 12
4.5 superbWhatsgood | October 6th 12
5.0 classicKeyserSoze | June 3rd 12
3.5 greatZombieDenial | April 30th 12
4.5 superbSpare | April 17th 12
5.0 classicGoatlord | April 2nd 12
4.0 excellentLegendofPittman | February 26th 12
1.5 very poorawal16 | November 3rd 11
4.0 excellentGilgamahesh | October 26th 11
4.0 excellentgreg84 EMERITUS | October 26th 11
4.5 superbJJmcJizzle | October 26th 11
4.5 superbkrkat | June 17th 11
4.5 superbrubybliels | January 20th 11
4.0 excellentSmevin | July 3rd 10
4.0 excellentdrasticaction74 | June 28th 10
3.5 greatCeziria | October 11th 09
5.0 classicsassysista | September 1st 09
3.0 goodProphet178 | May 18th 09
3.5 greatYotimi | May 15th 09
4.0 excellentjontheatheist | January 6th 09
4.5 superbnerdbound | April 12th 08
5.0 classicx596201060405
4.5 superbHiddenstashes

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