| | Full Review | Ratings (66) |
Give your Rating |
| 0.0 | Ebola | January 20th 17 |
Sweatshirt is told from the perspective of a Jacob Sartorius. This album will be great.
7 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.0 awful | Snide | February 11th 17 |
"Similar Bands: Black Malachite", out of all of the insults my music has received over the years,
never has one hit me so hard as this one did.
5 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.0 awful | Herbie Chrost | January 23rd 17 |
Similar Bands: Death, At the gates, Cattle Decapitation , Black Malachite, Burzum
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.0 awful | 3waycrash | January 20th 17 |
Kid gets "famous" from lip-syncing and then gets signed to a record label. ???
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.0 awful | cavalrycaptain | January 23rd 17 |
This kid is singing about picking up chicks but he can't even drive?...
2 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | siren | May 14th 18 |
music as bad as this bullshit should land you in prison
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | LethalPaintball | April 3rd 17 |
this album managed to stay at a 1 average even with the 1.5s and 2 it got lmaoo
Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | cjbizzlebizzle | March 24th 17 |
Make some Youtube videos, write an EP and suddenly a quick Google search brings up things like "Beliebers move over, the next star is here." Already a World Tour in 2017 at prominent venues in every major city but what has Jacob actually done? What a strange world we live in. A label can literally just create the next star and somehow get people to buy expensive tickets to see them around the globe. I wonder who actually came up with most of the music and lyrics on here but in the end it doesn't really matter, it is equally bad no matter the answer with slightly different arguments. Awkward lyrics about getting chicks and being all in love despite the fact that Jacob is only 14. Go out and be a kid. Nothing to see here unless you seek a half hour session to remind of the value in other music. Artificial.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | EasterInTheBatcave | February 10th 17 |
I am convinced that there exists a laboratory, somewhere close to the Earth's core, wherein every few years diabolical scientists manufacture pubescent, quasi-heartthrob vocalists to infest airwaves across the country with sterile, sonic pablum. With Justin Bieber approaching the ripe old age of 23, legacy sullied by numerous juvenile hi-jinks, and the Jonas Brothers but a distant image on the horizon of jejunity, it appears the scientists have been back at work. From the ashes of those once-mighty pop warriors has arisen a phoenix of similarly infantile proportions. Hair quiffed with airbrush-like perfection, Thrasher skateboard T-shirt at the ready, glasses big enough to encompass all hipsterdom, Jacob Sartorius has appeared, a picture of childlike innocence poised to be tragically destroyed by the vicious machine that is the popular music industry, and its equally soulless constituents.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | DustyTill | February 2nd 17 |
I first thought this was a degenerated version of Jaco Pastorius
Bump |
| 2.0 poor | Hurricanslash | February 2nd 17 |
This is very compulsively listenable and "Hit or Miss" is pretty alright for what it's trying to be. Idunno, if you're in his target audience this should be the EP of the year for you. I can very much live without it, though.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | SonOfIceAndFire | February 2nd 17 |
Only listen to this when you have earbuds on. Otherwise you'd only be disgracing yourself.
Update: LOLed when they used an actual nursery rhyme tune.
Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | SmileNerd | January 25th 17 |
+1.5 cuz I honestly got respect for this dude plus "Hit or Miss" is p hot
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | Mitch Worden EMERITUS | January 24th 17 |
Because what the world was missing as a "Sweatshirt" remix
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | Tequila Mockingbird : Drunk Author | January 24th 17 |
Move over Michael Jackson because the new king of pop is finally here. Mattyb? More like Matty-my-will-to-live-is-gone-after-listening-to-this-fire-brb-gotta-hang-myself. Modern classic.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | BlazinBlitzer | January 22nd 17 |
The "experimental" and "black metal" tabs tell ya all ya need to know about this masterful
producer. His sound output is this gen's Bathory.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | helti | January 20th 17 |
Hottest beats, bestest flows, greatest lyricals and the greater voices of Jacob Sartorius' finest
work.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | Oobaloo | December 25th 20 |
| 1.0 awful | Sarah | August 12th 18 |
| 1.0 awful | Noobl | February 13th 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | TheCynic | December 12th 17 |
| 1.0 awful | clavier EMERITUS | July 11th 17 |
| 1.0 awful | ian b. | April 21st 17 |
| 1.0 awful | tellah | March 1st 17 |
| 1.0 awful | ziroth | February 28th 17 |
| 1.0 awful | Gio | February 14th 17 |
| 1.0 awful | Shamus CONTRIBUTOR | January 25th 17 |
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