Review Summary: If metal were a circus, Mastermind would be the main act — strange, loud, and impossible to ignore.
So there I was, on the road, driving back to my hometown on December 11th, listening to my Kontrust playlist on Spotify. The playlist ends and, without asking for permission, a completely insane whistle bursts through the car speakers, playing the melody of We Are Number One. On the dashboard, the band name appears: Tardigrade Inferno.
Tardi who?
I listened to the song five times in a row. When I got home, I looked up the band. Since then, I haven’t been able to stop listening. And here we are: reviewing this fantastic band.
Formed in Russia, Tardigrade Inferno feels much more like a performative art project than a conventional metal band. Vocalist Darya Pavlovich and bassist Maxim Belekhov — the group’s intellectual mastermind (no pun intended) — have known each other for many years and had previously worked together in an avant-garde rock band. When they decided to shift their focus and fully commit to Tardigrade Inferno, the band’s identity was clear from the start: circense aesthetics, acidic humor, and exaggerated theatricality are part of the group’s DNA.
Don’t believe me? Just listen to (and watch the video for) Execution Is Fun, released two years before Mastermind.
But don’t be fooled — this band know how to be heavy, and they do it very well.
What you hear throughout Mastermind — the first full-length album in the band’s short discography — is a highly unconventional musical signature. The keyboard, described by the band themselves as retro-futuristic, is blatantly upfront. It doesn’t try to hide behind the guitars. On the contrary, in several songs it dominates the music, leads the main melody, and takes on the role of the central riff, while the guitars work more as rhythmic support and added weight. This choice not only breaks away from traditional metal standards, but also reinforces the band’s circense identity — and, interestingly, never reduces the heaviness of the music.
Special mention must also be made of Alexander Pavlovich’s guitar work. Mastermind is not an album concerned with stacking solos or showcasing gratuitous virtuosity. Instead, the guitar operates with clear intent, prioritizing weight, texture, and function within the arrangements. But when the moment calls for it… just listen to the beautiful and powerful solo near the end of Alabama Song — a solo that does not exist in the original version of the song.
Still, the true star of Mastermind is undoubtedly Darya Pavlovich’s vocal performance. She delivers an absurdly versatile performance, effortlessly shifting between operatic, theatrical, and playful tones. The goal is not constant technical showmanship — although it’s clear she could do that if she wanted — but rather serving the music and the character each song demands. She shines especially on Alabama Song (a cover of The Doors) and Dreadful Song.
The circense atmosphere permeates the entire album — not as caricature, but as mood. It is most evident in the album’s introduction (All Tardigrades Go to Hell), the title track, and Hypnosis. A more serious tone, however, takes center stage in Alabama Song, Dreadful Song, and Church Asylum, showing that Tardigrade Inferno knows how to balance humor and density without losing its identity.
Even so, the album’s greatest highlight is We Are Number One. Technically, it is a cover of a song from the children’s TV show LazyTown. In practice, the arrangement is so creative that it almost feels like an original composition. It may seem like a small detail, but the simple use of the word “Блять” right before the chorus is a stroke of genius, as is the powerful growl that appears shortly afterward. It’s bold, unexpected, and works perfectly. Way to go, guys. You nailed it.
In the end, We Are Number One allows something rare: laughing and dancing to a metal song. I like that. I don’t know about you.
Mastermind is both an introduction and a statement. It establishes Tardigrade Inferno as a band with a remarkably clear understanding of aesthetics, narrative, and identity. It’s strange, theatrical, creative, and deliberately exaggerated. A true musical spectacle, where the circus is not just scenery — it is the essence.
I’d give it a try if I were you.
Highlights:
Hypnosis
Dreadful Song
Alabama Song
I’m Coming for Your Soul
We Are Number One
