Review Summary: The Story So Far prove they’re still the best in the business with a hauntingly beautiful offering that is essential for any punk or human emotion enthusiast’s collection.
The latest research in psychology suggests it takes on average eight years for a person to completely emotionally disconnect from an ex-lover. I could make a joke here about Parker Cannon being above average, but I want to draw attention to another fact; the honeymoon period of a relationship lasts on average six months. It’s no wonder then, that love songs seem so outnumbered by “I’m emo about a girl” songs in the punk genre.
Imagine then, how long it would take to heal from the loss of your father (if you are lucky enough to not have to experience this yet). This record is about these two kinds of grief, one much more severe than another, but both deeply personal and central to the human condition. Both are the ending of relationships that make up our inner sanctum, things that aren’t supposed to hurt us. But I think the misaligned severity of one loss against the other, as much as I feel for Parker, makes I Want to Disappear a very interesting and intriguing album.
Let’s start with the title, I Want to Disappear. That is heavy. It conveys the attitude of Parker directly and openly, and the album art (I have the vinyl version) is impeccable. Embossed cream white like the marble of a mausoleum, physically embodying the tribute to his late father and the shocking impact of his death. Parker’s lyrics on this album deal with this subject matter with a delicacy and a poignancy he had hinted at on earlier recordings, but never quite fully mastered as he does here. And, in my humble opinion, this album is a masterpiece, and a seemingly overlooked one.
I have written in an earlier piece that I believed Proper Dose heralded the coming of a new kind of punk sound. It was a new invention, displaying mastery and creativity. It’s difficult to try something new, invent something new, create a new sound and make a masterpiece doing it. I Want to Disappear proves two important things; firstly, that it wasn’t a fluke and The Story So Far deserve every accolade worthy of their craftmanship and creative genius, but also that they had invented and mastered a new sound. To be clear, you’ve only invented something, if it works. Otherwise, you tried and you failed.
Like Proper Dose, if you give this album the time it deserves and listen to it through as you are supposed to, there isn’t a single bad track here. The entire album could just be the single song White Shores and it’d still be worth every single one of your dollars that it commands on its price tag. That all the other songs are of such high quality is a huge bonus. There are some, like Watch You Go, that feel very paint- by-numbers, but the people painting by numbers are the Leonardo Da Vinci of punk rock. The guitar tones are lush and beautiful, the lyrics draw you in and stretch your emotions out, the drums guide each song perfectly. There is nothing bad to say about the musicianship, it is not substandard anywhere. And while the regular subject matter of girls and break ups could be considered tired and overdone by any other band at this stage of their career, the stark contrast with the much more profound subject matter on such a beautiful and sophisticated track as White Shores helps to break the album up. Truth be told, I couldn’t listen to that many tracks in a row about grieving the loss of your father, even if each track did reach the musical heights of White Shores.
It also helps that the relationship orientated songs like Letterman, Big Blind, All this Time etc are all standouts on their own. I’ve listened to this album from cover to cover more than a dozen times now and each time I can’t help but get lost in just how lush and inviting the sound is. Every hook draws you in, makes you want to close your eyes and tap along. There is a hypnotic and metronomic quality that shimmers through the album, from the opening refrain of White Shores to the verses of Letterman and the riffs throughout. We are drawn into a soundscape of Parker’s pain and he is gracious enough to make it beautiful and an enjoyable time. I’m using the word a lot, but it really is the best adjective for just how this album hits your heart strings from your ears. It does it with a tenderness; with guitars that sound like oceans of emotion that don’t give any intent that they wish to hurt you.
When the album closes, I can’t help but think of what a privilege it is that I get to hear such an incredibly moving piece of art, without having to suffer the immense burden of losing my own father. I’m thankful that people like Parker exist, who can create such beauty out of such pain, and are able to share it with the world. This record is a beautiful mausoleum. It is a triumph of human emotion and artistic impression, and is essential for any person’s record collection. I don’t want Parker Cannon to disappear.