Review Summary: I make actually good crunkcore music unlike dese posers. pizzamachine > all
The greatest inspiration for making music is remembering how terrible some artists are. It is a sage reminder that a single piece of brick with no brain could make music. Now let us remember Brokencyde for one fleeting moment to distract us from the inevitability of Sputnik’s hilarious heat death. Let us also remember Sputnik. Let us remember the coolness of words and full sentences. Let us remember conjugation. Let’s all stroke our dicks and congratulate each other infinitely for barely knowing how to write sentences. Only joking, don’t do that. How about y’all enjoy a good burger instead? A much better suggestion, honestly. You’re welcome.
Brokencyde listened to Lil Jon and thought they could totally copy that iconic steez. They failed of course, but in the process of creation they discovered how to scream, sing, and rap on pop/hip-hop beats. It was made in an energetic, sort of catchy style with bold synthesizers and party lyrics, and MySpace scene kids were obsessed with it. The genre of music was called crunkcore. 90% of humans have not heard of crunkcore, so you have been cursed with this new knowledge. Unfortunately, the curse will NOT wear off until you listen to pizzamachine’s music. I shall bless thee.
Crunkcore was a genre of music that combined everything on MySpace, everything on the radio, every metalcore/emo band at the time, and every hip-hop group ever in a truly confusing marriage. It was a genre that didn’t know what it wanted to be aside from ULTRA SWAGLICIOUS (and obviously crunk). It was a genre that could be 30H!3, and then Attack Attack! the next second with zero downtime. A truly interesting genre that produces truly interesting music when taken seriously, yet it basically never is. Instead, people took it as, “lols I can scream on a beat”. This even included Brokencyde who show an immense lack of creativity in this album. If you want better crunkcore music these days, you have to listen to trap metal, because that’s as close as it gets. Well, except for my god tier music that I make like a boss. It’s no big deal, except it IS.
The same formula is repeated in EVERY song: a long rap part with no bars, scream sections, and a chorus that is repeated infinitely by a bad singer. Scene kids were like, “deez guys r so cool rawr XD”, and this band was treated like gods, with the rapper dude becoming the sexiest person ever automatically cuz he rapped and gelled his hair. Did I mention the music is bad? Anyway.
This is one of those albums that is synonymous with crunkcore, but it shouldn’t be. There is barely anything happening with these beats. Once they discover a synth hook they like they just repeat it for the rest of the song. That already gets old, and then they repeat the same screamed chorus until ears bleed. They have generic, copy and paste radio beats, yet no one would want to listen to them on the radio with these dick-in-ass screams. The singing is bad too, with very little effort put into it, and that lack of effort is still apparent in their NEW music. This band still exists and are still bull***ting all over beats. Unbelievable.
I don’t have much else to say except *** this album. I like it in a “it’s so terrible it’s funny” way, but do I think it holds musical merit? Hardly. Anyone can pretend to rap, throw autotune on vocals and barely hit notes, and put enough effects on screams to fool crowds. However, it takes a TRUE crunkcore God (aka me) to actually do things properly. These dudes were lazy as ***, and too busy drinking and slipping kids crushed up caffeine pills to focus on their music.
*** this album, thanks bye.
