Review Summary: Facepalm the album.
"Spiderland" is honestly one of the most overhyped albums out there, and it really doesn’t have much going for it. The vocal performance is weak, and the production quality is just plain awful. Let’s talk about the vocals—they sound super amateurish, like if Shaggy from Scooby Doo decided to form a band without any warm-ups or training. His shouty style is like nails on a chalkboard. The production definitely has that organic feel, which could be a desirable throwback in 2025's digital landscape, but honestly, the guitar riffs are just as rough as the singing. The mix of guitars and drums feels like it's built from the foundations of a rickety old shack ready to fall apart at any moment. Unrefined production is kind of like a rough blade. If a blade isn’t sharpened, it can’t really make an impact. In this case, the music is so raw that it barely leaves a scratch.
Take "Nosferatu Man," for instance; those harmonic notes are so off-key that they create a dissonance that's hard to listen to. Post rock and dissonance is not a good combination at all. The genre is usually associated with relaxation, dissonance is the antithesis to that. It completely ruins the mood its trying to convey and it's simply an abhorrent mixture. "Don, Aman" is just another dull track that drags on without much excitement. It tries to capture that melancholic singer songwriter, Bob Dylan-style, but the singing fails to grab your attention. The whispering in some sections even feels a bit unsettling. Lines like "being watched from outside" definitely don't help its case. And when that awful distorted guitar kicks in, it just adds to the weirdness. The guitar tone feels like those basic presets you’d find on an amp. It engulfs everything in an offputting way, and has this irritating static hiss that’s just insufferable. The song leaves you feeling pretty uncomfortable while listening.
Then there’s the slower track "For Dinner..." which carries that same clunky rhythm but at a snail's pace. Once again the guitar tones completely ruin any chance of it being decent. It’s mind-numbingly boring, at least it doesnt have vocals this time to ruin it even more. Even if it’s trying to build to something big, it never really gets there; it briefly picks up intensity but then falls back into the same dull groove.
The tracks just seem aimless and lack direction. They kind of drag on without any real energy pushing them forward. You hardly get a catchy vocal line to keep you interested, and those slow beats can be really frustrating. The vocalist lacks any redeeming qualities—he really needs some training to improve. The songs attempt to convey a melancholic feel with the guitar chords, but it all just falls flat in this horribly produced presentation and vocals that do nothing to help. Sure, "Washer" is there that has some coherence to it, but it's an exception, not the rule. One coherent song a good album it does not make. Plus, the same poor production value brings it way down yet again.
"Good Morning, Captain" just doesn't cut it as a finale. The vocals come off as really amateurish and whiny, which is a total letdown. The production is again pretty terrible, making things worse. "Spiderland" is bafflingly overhyped and, to be real, it's just not good. The album offers nothing convincingly enjoyable; it awkwardly bounces around different styles like an uncle trying to be the next Van Gogh, but just doesn’t have the skills or refinement needed to make it work.
