Jinjer
King of Everything


5.0
classic

Review

by pizzamachine USER (634 Reviews)
July 14th, 2024 | 16 replies


Release Date: 2016 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The Queen of very music-y album

Sputnikmusedick would have me (force me) to write a long review for this body of metal music. However, there is a reason why this album isn’t reviewed. That’s cuz this album is an absolute barnyard howler. The music within slaps like a tiger pouncing on a little girl and force feeding them Kellogg’s cereal despite overwhelming prices. Such music is beyond critique, it simply exists in a time and space where other things cannot compete. It’s on its own planet - its own universe. Somewhere on another planet, in a parallel dimension, hot alien chicks are making out with the CD case because the music calls them as though a prospective lover. If you look closely at your personal CD cover, you can see where they attempted to penetrate their asses. Indeed, the riffs are so metal they will make you a hoe. Riffs are the cream of the very enticing cream inserted in your body in and out in every orifice in this album, but the vocals induce joygasms like receiving your first handjob after paying the Walmart greeter. From nice singing to nice growling, the music is very murderous or it might just make you grab your lemon even harder. Basically, this is a thrill ride that Bjork would say “holy ***!” to.

Music is “bad” these days because albums like this don’t exist anymore. This is because people listened to this album, and attempted to sound the exact the same. After they failed they yeeted their guitars into the nearest mud puddles and cried. Music was never the same after this djenty sensation, and it never will be again, because this is the best djenty *** to djent all in your momma. The riff onslaught here is similar to the feeling of being forced to enjoy air conditioning but you actually really enjoy air conditioning. There are indeed drums and the many instruments of this album are enough to punch a wallop type punch that’ll unsettle your morning iced tea. This is cuz album slaps hard. Disagree? Ask yo momma, she knows better cuz we were listening to this *** last night. Heyooooo

It’s hard to explain or imagine just how pussy punching this album is, so *** that I have dishes to do

that was the entire review btw



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great
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Comments:Add a Comment 
pizzamachine
July 14th 2024


27601 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

The King of professional rearview

artiswar
July 14th 2024


14696 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Tried to get into this album so hard when it came out. But Pisces cast such a long shadow over this. That song is an all-time great, nothing else here comes close. I think Micro EP was the most consistent one from them. You can definitely make a killer playlist from all their hits though. Would love to know what Bjork would think of this band

pizzamachine
July 14th 2024


27601 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

For sure, great band to put on shuffle. Bjork would approve

Get Low
July 14th 2024


14507 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Pisces is the only good song this band has ever written, and the only good song they will ever write.

PumpBoffBag
Staff Reviewer
July 14th 2024


1657 Comments

Album Rating: 3.6

Nah you’re smoking rocks. A 5’s v generous for this but band has plenty of choice cuts outside of Pisces



Don’t return to this too often but it’s a cool record

pizzamachine
July 14th 2024


27601 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I like my music like I like my coffee

Tundra
July 14th 2024


9916 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

This album never had a review lol, the more you know. Rules fucking hard, their best.

artiswar
July 14th 2024


14696 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

That's actually kind of wild, I didn't even notice that

Get Low
July 15th 2024


14507 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I knew it didn't have a review because I had been waiting several years to make my above comment.

igordrago
July 15th 2024


231 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I’m torn here, obviously this is no where near a 5 and it’s kinda blasphemy you even put that but the review isn’t bad and written well . So I’m not gonna neg based on that.

Hawks
July 15th 2024


93066 Comments


Thank god you clarified that. Thank you so much.

kalkwiese
July 15th 2024


10591 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

I was so dissappointed when I did a deep dive into Jinjer to prepare for a concert and then ... the music just didn't do much for me. Talented band, bad songwriters.

kalkwiese
July 15th 2024


10591 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

I really enjoyed Wallflower though. I liked the songwriting there quite a bit

artiswar
July 15th 2024


14696 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

They have some really good songs, I just never really felt like the singer gelled very well with the music for the most part. Particularly when she launches into her clean vocals, it often feels like she's just kinda floating over the music, it's hard to explain. Pisces is absolutely incredible though

kalkwiese
July 15th 2024


10591 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

Yea, I was never a huge fan of the cleans tbh

Themaxwell23
July 25th 2024


150 Comments


A 5? Neg



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