Ariana Grande
Eternal Sunshine


2.0
poor

Review

by Shamus248 CONTRIBUTOR (120 Reviews)
March 8th, 2024 | 139 replies


Release Date: 03/08/2024 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Ari's Homewrecker Era

Eternal Sunshine is the moment Ariana Grande stops giving a sh*t. No stranger to controversy (see "racefishing" and the donut shop for more), Ari has been recently labeled by some as a 'homewrecker' following her divorce from Dalton Gomez and subsequent hookup with...SpongeBob Broadway star Ethan Slater? Girl's got an interesting taste in men. The commotion stems from reports that Grande and Slater not only cheated on their spouses with each other, but double dated during the affair, which is...bold if true. But it also stems from Ari seemingly embracing her new villain role, as was displayed on this album's tacitly unsettling lead single "Yes, And?" 'Why do you care so much whose d*ck I ride?' Grande challenges, with an almost Swiftian level of defiance and hostility.

This boldness pervades throughout much of the remainder of the album. Mid-stage cut "True Story" is a major disappointment with this in mind. The production absolutely goes off and Ari smashes every vocal flourish out of the God damn park. She again indirectly teases and responds to her critics by vowing to play the role of the villain ("And I'll be good in it too"). It makes you want to root for her, but you can't help but feel icky afterwards. If everything they say is true about her, then it's not the defiant girl-boss event she thinks it is.

Elsewhere, tracks like "Supernatural" are one-note, paint-by-numbers pop R&B romps. "Bye" glides on bouncy beats and plenty of sugary-to-the-point-of-cavities vocal showcases. The title track flops in its quest for a vulnerable intimacy. "Imperfect for You" is mildly antiquated from a composition standpoint. Nothing lyrically or artistically relevant is brought to the table. Every track is flowery, empty, and hyper-fixated on building an artificial aesthetic. It sounds a lot prettier than it actually is. Eternal Sunshine is a waste of Ariana Grande's powerhouse talents, a million dollar production with ten-cent execution.



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user ratings (97)
3
good
other reviews of this album
robertsona STAFF (3)
eternal life is the intersection of the line of time in the plane of now (we live forever)...

Zo0lz (3)
...



Comments:Add a Comment 
Shamus248
Contributing Reviewer
March 8th 2024


898 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Promoted to contributor status LET'S. FUCKING. GOOOOOOO.

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


32053 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Grats for the tag.



Brutal first contrib review, also what's up with that cover?

Shamus248
Contributing Reviewer
March 8th 2024


898 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Apparently it's 1 of 7 variants, the main one being her leaning on a "clone" of herself

Get Low
March 8th 2024


14329 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

came in to insta-neg but i see you got promoted to contrib, congrats



great album, much better than I was anticipating

Purpl3Spartan
March 8th 2024


8694 Comments


Good review probably sucks ass

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


60864 Comments


sputnik has entered its tabloid throwaway era

Drifter
March 8th 2024


20880 Comments


Swiftian

Zo0lz
March 8th 2024


110 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Congratulations on being promoted to contributor.

Winesburgohio
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


4040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

t/t is soty contender tbh

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


26305 Comments

Album Rating: 3.2

Why do you care so much whose d*ck she ride?

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


26305 Comments

Album Rating: 3.2

honestly this kinda slap so far

Tundra
March 8th 2024


9800 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Ok this slaps as expected

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


60864 Comments


>Why do you care so much whose d*ck she ride?

probably because it's much easier to recycle yesterday's gossip column than it is to double down on the piss-thin analysis this review barely dips its toes into

ToSmokMuzyki
March 8th 2024


11316 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5 | Sound Off

i can listen to this tho

Tundra
March 8th 2024


9800 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

The hatred towards the home wrecking stuff is completely valid

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
March 8th 2024


60864 Comments


this is a music site

ToSmokMuzyki
March 8th 2024


11316 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5 | Sound Off

think johnny, a music website today, total clickbait tabloid site tomorrow...



its the sput revival, think of the possibilities~!!

HelloJoe
March 8th 2024


1097 Comments


TBH, there's more money in gossip. I think it's time for a change. The music database is sorely lacking anyway.

AnimalForce1
Contributing Reviewer
March 8th 2024


863 Comments


Wow that ratings chart is all over the place. Wasn’t the biggest fan of “Yes, and?” but I’ll probably check this album out anyways soon enough

bighubbabuddha
March 8th 2024


717 Comments


Smok 5'd it, I'm staying away



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