Visit Kalvhaga
Big Walters Joyous Siesta in the Castle Hall


3.5
great

Review

by Frank - the rater of 3.5 USER (14 Reviews)
February 25th, 2024 | 12 replies


Release Date: 02/25/2024 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Like visiting eFukt on your parents’ computer when you were twelve years old.

The quintessential secret identity artist, by daytime undercover multi billionaire, Visit Kalvhaga is back once again. From origins unknown, from inspiration sources unknown, they have produced this G R E A T two track EP. Castle yadayadawhatever is about six times longer than their last outing and a venture into new territory. (Baseball sucks).

A couple of things have changed since the last time around. For example, the drums are no longer preset boring plastic midi drums (not true). Also, this time around Visit Kalvhaga introduce vocals for the first time on Movement III […] with lyrics sung halfassedly in a foreign mythical language.

This EP is two tracks long, but it’s made up of three movements (what?). The first track contains Movements I and II. Honestly Movement I is a true banger, like having intimacy with a girl. That’s what it feels like, like this song (try it sometime). On the other hand, Movement II feels like round two when you put it in again seconds after climax. It’s just not as good, and during, your mind is probably wandering away to Super Bowl commercials or something.

This album has very good and tasty presets. Like watching the warmups to a tennis match.
The songs feature a lot of instruments and I get the feeling that Visit is very good at playing them. Kalvhaga sure know a lot of different instruments. A generational talent surely.

Visit Kalvhaga is going to take you to the bank Senator Trent, to the blood bank.

This is the rejected Kashiwa Daisuke dungeon synth demos you weren’t supposed to hear.
This is what happens when you mix beer and Red Bull.
This is a 3.5.

https://visitkalvhaga.bandcamp.com/album/big-walters-joyous-siesta-in-the-castle-hall



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user ratings (3)
3.7
great


Comments:Add a Comment 
Sniff
February 25th 2024


8093 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I should review more

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
February 25th 2024


60907 Comments


who injected this into my dreams why can't I wake up omfg

Sniff
February 25th 2024


8093 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

The day is here

Hawks
February 26th 2024


89540 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Gotta hear this.

Sniff
February 26th 2024


8093 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Everyone needs to hear this at least once

Hawks
February 26th 2024


89540 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

This is sweet.

LilLioness
February 27th 2024


3566 Comments


Efukt, a half step away from Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Calc
February 27th 2024


17367 Comments


neat but just made me wanna listen to dionaea again

SteakByrnes
February 27th 2024


30003 Comments


lets fucking go

someone
Contributing Reviewer
February 27th 2024


6719 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Frank - the rater of 3.5, does not disappoint

someone
Contributing Reviewer
February 27th 2024


6719 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Kinda like this one better tbh

SomeCallMeTim
February 27th 2024


4214 Comments


best summary ever



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