Review Summary: A chilling farewell.
Adolescence means many different things to different people.
For some, it’s looked back on with appreciation for a life free from adult responsibilities. We long for the days of youth, passion and new experiences. Others repress painful memories and lock them in a vault, only daring to revisit them after one too many craft beers. Things we create in our teenage years, once seen internally as “divine masterpieces” are often shelved and forgotten about. I can’t even begin to count how many unfinished tracks I have sitting on some hard drive in a landfill, if they even physically exist at all. Sometimes, though, regardless of age, everything magically just clicks into place.
On
Today I Laid Down, the debut EP from Fremont’s own
bl4ck m4rket c4rt, Kai Wesener managed to create something truly special. There’s certainly been a huge uptick in the amount of lo-fi “bedroom rock” flooding the airwaves in the past few years, but none with the polished nature and maturity contained in these six tracks. Every song is like a wood carving - meticulously crafted, handled with care, and unquestionably delicate. A looming feeling of dread hangs in the background, almost like a dark cloud overhead. Very few albums I’ve ever heard have managed to convey that feeling quite like this does.
Considering this was self-produced, the sound quality is fantastic. Each individual instrument and synthesizer is audible, and they dance with each other like ghosts of an empty ballroom. Buried low in the mix, the vocals give off a melancholic and near-catatonic vibe. Wesener’s lyrics match that monotone delivery, telling the story of a kid who is just kind of existing despite the world around him. The lyrics, hopeless and despairing in nature, paint a clear picture of what must have been going through his head on a daily basis.
Demons are tricky buggers. They affect us all in different ways. No two experiences are the same, and although I can’t say my high school life was particularly easy, I am here today at 33 with a wife and a dog and a house. I am one of the lucky ones. And what’s more, I never had to go through losing a friend when I was a teenager. At Kai’s age, I would have given anything to write songs like these. I wish he had been able to know how incredible this release is, what it means and will mean to his fans, and that he could have found peace in the darkness.
RIP Kai Wesener
May 2006 - October 2023
