On Thorns I Lay
On Thorns I Lay


4.0
excellent

Review

by pizzamachine USER (624 Reviews)
October 17th, 2023 | 22 replies


Release Date: 10/13/2023 | Tracklist

Review Summary: TMI

So basically this album is some kind of awesome thing. Some kind of Amorphis meets Opeth and Katatonia but only the most metal moments. The metal is pure doomy energy, which means it fills a room with super scary dark clouds of evil satanicness. If you tried to light a candle the Satan guitars will come and stomp on that ***. This is actually a fact, because the guitars go that hard. You know the seismic, crushing tsunami guitars that Draconian do? Well, no one can match Draconian but this comes close to slapping a few raw asses that were not ready for the treatment. I also wanna say that this album has that spooky vibe like Night Eternal from Moonspell. But this doesn’t sound cheesy at all, it’s just pure epicness like getting free money from the government. The growls are equally bombastic, self serving, and could slice through an ice cream cake quickly! Literally everything is fire.

The album is repetitive. You’ll get the same thing over and over again like the first song is on repeat. If you like the first song you’ll like the album. If you think the first track is mediocre, you’ll think the album is just okay. The cycle continues and spirals until you either bow before the album or don’t. This is for real metalheads though, just trust the process.

In reality I made this review because I was bored. Much like how I listened to this album and then was not bored, so was the review process. In total, you might say the album made my life better. Well, at the very least it brightened my painfully dull day full of chores and grown up boring dumb ass ***. Maybe it will for you too? Who knows, idc, I’m just here to pad my review count so I can reach 600 reviews before I die, and then I will die as a Sputnik god. That being said, my life is still 2.5/5. Oof.



Recent reviews by this author
ILLIT SUPER REAL MEDark Oath Ages of Man
Apogean CyberstrictiveTriton Project Messenger's Quest
Keys To The Astral Gates And Mystic Doors Keys To The Astral Gates And Mystic Doors IILVME Of Sinful Nature
user ratings (27)
3.7
great


Comments:Add a Comment 
pizzamachine
October 17th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Very cozy thorns

bellovddd
October 17th 2023


5677 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

you're 600th review better be for something special pizza

pizzamachine
October 17th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

It’ll be something…. surprising!

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Gotta czech this.

pizzamachine
October 18th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Album is Hawkscore

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Bout 2 jam!

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Good stuff here Pizza bro.

pizzamachine
October 18th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Brings the music

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

A bit draggy in spots but the melodies and riffs are on point for the mot part. m///

pizzamachine
October 18th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

It’s easy to zone out :]

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I'll zone u out...













BOOM ROASTED

pizzamachine
October 18th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Noooooooooooooooo

Pikazilla
October 18th 2023


29711 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Great band

pizzamachine
October 18th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

On Pika I Lay

ToSmokMuzyki
October 18th 2023


10469 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5 | Sound Off

OUR LOVE IS A BED OF THORNS



LOVE HURTS GOOD ON A BED OF THORNS

Hawks
October 18th 2023


86681 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

On Men I Lay

ToSmokMuzyki
October 18th 2023


10469 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5 | Sound Off

On Moms I Lay

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
October 18th 2023


10698 Comments


Great reminder for listening to this

cycosynner
October 19th 2023


147 Comments


u can lay on my thorns anytime pizza

pizzamachine
October 19th 2023


26994 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

;D



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy