Review Summary: Get up kid, it’s Morbin’ time.
At this point, what can be said that hasn’t already? For any long-time Echelon hoping for this to be a return to even the Flood era of the band’s sound, they would have a better time platting their own piss. No, 30STM have made it abundantly clear at this point, doubling, tripling and now quadrupling down on the same mission they’ve been trying to accomplish for the last ten years now. What’s the mission I hear you ask? Well, it’s to create the most sanitised, vacuous, cheap and creatively insipid record of their career, one that’s completely devoid of human emotion – methodically calculated to amass the current day trends, with cost-efficiency being absolutely paramount. (After all, those Mars Island “experiences” the Leto brothers set up for
The Echelon [aka 14-year-old girls] every year aren’t cheap, are they?) Thankfully, after a decade of staunch obstinance, the boys have finally gone and done it – they’ve gnawed and clawed their way to the apex of their own demise.
It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day has such a richly prestigious one-dimensional sound, it makes even the worst Justin Bieber album look like a worthy addition to the Humanity’s Greatest Achievements list.
Seriously though, it takes real dedication and belief in one’s self to apply this level of effort into your craft. I mean, I don’t know how Jared does it. When he’s not out there making premium-quality comic book movies, he’s at home walking around in front of the mirror in his glittery cape and Lady Gaga shades, punctiliously planning his execution for the greatest artistic statement yet. All I know is, I’m eternally grateful for these talented chaps’ efforts, because
It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day cured my insomnia. Now I use that insufferable “oh-woah-oh” Jared uses – you know, the one he utilises every twenty seconds when he can’t think of anything meaningful to add to the song – as a lullaby for when I’m trying to catch up on my beauty sleep. The fun doesn’t end there though – oh no, you’d be so lucky, my friend! That painfully hackneyed autotuned “oh-woah-oh” is just the sweetener in this acrid sh*t cake. Leto’s quasi-inspirational lyrics about dreams, rebellion, kings and… pain(?), they’re the bastion of unrivalled platitudes and go in accord with the little tick Leto has. All of this is a chef’s kiss of unfettered brilliance so far, but keep up now; don't lose sight of the prize. We can’t just talk about our venerable frontman when there’s a plethora of tenuous, lazy, repetitive guitar and synth melodies to unpack over a banquet of dry, brittle drum cracks that echo limply in this empty shell of a soundscape. The instrumentals on this thing are so nondescript, austere and samey, it’s almost a talent in itself getting them to draw out this high-quality level of ennui from the listener, witnessing one baron, elemental track bleeding into the next with very little distinction. Incredible work.
In short,
It's the End of the World but It's a Beautiful Day is the summation of the band’s passing. An affirmation that lets every 30STM fan know; they’ve taken their rapacious, pretentious sensibilities to a new solar system here. If you’re the type of music fan who loves every facet of their music to be vacant of genuine emotion, creativity and expression, this album will satiate your cravings, you hungry listener. Eat the slop, peasant, and hopefully, if you’re very good, the boys will come back in five years’ time and give you… even more slop served as high art.
Sheer brilliance. Here’s to next time, fellas.
