JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown
Scaring the Hoes


4.5
superb

Review

by Miloslaw Archibald Rugallini STAFF
April 20th, 2023 | 385 replies


Release Date: 03/24/2023 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Middle-aged men yell at Cloud

JPEGMAFIA doesn't want to pay $8 a month for Twitter. If you have never tweeted — twoot? twat? — this won't be life-altering news for you. If you are a verified Twatter, you still might wonder why Peggy chooses to instigate his dream collaboration with Danny Brown by hurling a big ol' Fuck You at such a Top-10-Most-Hated-Plutocrats-of-the-Decade candidate as Elon Musk. Wonder on, because his targets will only become more obscure from here on out. SCARING THE HOES' narratives, or lack thereof, might indeed serve to frighten the skittish kind of hip-hop tourist who demands substantive poetry to make their minds swell with epiphany and their empathy expand to infinity. These people are hoes, and when the right/wrong sample on this project startles them into hitting the skip button, we need not mourn the loss of their attention.

Danny Brown is a big dog like Marmaduke. While he is less likely to reference web-adjacent murmurs of alleged coprophilia amongst certain well-off Emirates (don't ask) than his cohort, the pair agreed on Danny Brown's podcast that Brown is the more terminally online of the duo. Weighing their respective back catalogues against each other (think “Fields'' or “Scrap or Die” vs. “My Thoughts on Neogaf Dying (Radio Edit)” it's strange to think how each is equally indebted to internet culture for the success they've experienced, as well as the consequential restoration of hair/teeth that had gone MIA after two respective half-lives lived at full-speed. Either way, with both a warm scalp and a full smile, Danny Brown comes in hot here, spitting wobbly globules of bullshit in the most entrancing manner imaginable.

I promise I'll stop pissing into the wind soon. The lurching mania of the reviews already put forth by my critical compadres have confirmed my bias that this is music for degenerates; nobody on our side of the picket line has sobered up since the release of SCARING THE HOES. From this we can deduce that the album is not only a raging success, but also a representative and catalyst of Dionysian delinquintism.

Naturally, there are modes of analysis that can capture this visceral miscreance in all its glory. Buried in robertsona's probably-inebriated musings is a fascinating link between Harold Bloom's notions of true interiority as weighed against Danny Brown's life/performances – this saga has taken a (hopefully) hopeful turn as Brown announced his intention to try rehab (in surreal fashion) as he was just about to perform “Dip” at a showcase gig for Doc Martens. Meanwhile, where many are rightfully praising JPEGMAFIA as one of the best producers (and most certainly samplers) in the game, he was recently heckled at a live show about the mixing on SCARING THE HOES, and is currently embroiled in a Veteran-era sample crediting issue with one Chef Warren, which has painted Peggy in an ugly light so far. I'll be careful to say too much there lest I wind up an oddly specific track title, but suffice it to say that these parasocial figures of online 'success' are suffering for their art.

Fortunately that art is unbelievably fucking dope, and that's mostly because of the significant drawcard of this production: the production. Peggy tells us that these beats were made over the course of a year in which he constrained himself to the use of an SP-404 sampler in order to recreate the difficulties of 90s producers because reasons? Well, somehow this constraint has resulted in the leanest and meanest tracklist of his career, a nasty needle brimming with outsider bullshit that should be obnoxiously slammed at every substance-fueled orgy this year, whether hoes are present or presently leaving. While they'll probably stick around when NSYNC, Michael Jackson, and Kelis are being flipped, a loop from a commercial for Japanese seafood titans Nichiro or an obnoxious Dirty Beaches sample might just displace the hoes entirely. Fortunately, you'll be left with the real ones, and somewhere in between bass stabs that are either a perfectly juxtaposed gut-punch or a surprisingly melodic antipode to a chaotic sample, someone might clarify a lyrical reference that nobody else caught, and you'll all have a big emotional drunkblurt before you sloppily clap cheeks.

Just to clarify, the lyrical content of SCARING THE HOES consists of more than all of the Twitter beefs you never knew existed — it's also a tableau of every rap cliché you've never heard of. There is a level of hip-hop reflexivity here that I haven't heard since RTJ4. Difference being, where Run The Jewels scare the hoes with their moral grandstanding (just [mostly] kidding, they're dope), JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown scare the hoes by being genuinely unusual artists who aren't afraid to revisit the time that Canibus inferred, quite literally, that he'd eat the ass of an MC that he was supposedly dissing at the time. With this established, nothing is sacred: Peggy jokes about Freddie Gibbs getting beat up; a clever reference to the passing of Trugoy the Dove is squawked out by Danny; two tracks are just straight up named “Run The Jewels” and “Jack Harlow Combo Meal" (lol); and Jesus LL Cool J lovin' Christ, do I really need to bring up sampling again? This is starting to feel like citing individual figures in a Bosch painting to try and draw on wider themes; just zoom out and peep the fucking carnage — listen to this goddamn album.

Perhaps my sputnik-based delinquents in arms were onto something; SCARING THE HOES is not an album that benefits from analytical observation. It sounds best at full noise, and, played in its most suitable biome (revelry in any given climate), its weaknesses become its strengths. Oh, you don't understand the lyrics? It's just a reference to professional wrestler The Iron Sheik; don't worry. Excuse me, you're having trouble hearing/deciphering Danny Brown? Listen to the hook on “Burfict!” and try telling me that anything matters beyond that voice ripping that flow over them horns. Let it all out. Expound on every microscopic conniption SCARING THE HOES quickens within your hateful soul. It's okay, I'm here. I might be a bottle of pinot or two deep, and I might struggle to hear you over the damaging decibels that have been radiating from my residence for almost a month straight, but I promise I'll do my best to consider your feelings and hash out some kind of slurred understanding. What I can't promise is that I'll remember it tomorrow.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

oh uh fuck, take three



edit: I always get wrapped up in stressy feelings when publishing and forget to say essential things like "holy fucking shit Johnny, thanks for the life-giving proof that resuscitated a piece that was four near-dead gonzo gushings in the making" damn what a ledge

parksungjoon
April 20th 2023


47234 Comments


>“My Thoughts on Neogaf Dying (Radio Edit)”

is this a real thing lmao

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

lol yuhp. i love his track titles (even the bad ones)

parksungjoon
April 20th 2023


47234 Comments


good riddance to neogaf, absolute pile of useless lapdogs and bootlicking wankers

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

haha well the lyrics consist of "I don't care", so everyone's writing on the same page here

parksungjoon
April 20th 2023


47234 Comments


cool review Vote Counted

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

big hearts, a pleasure to have you back on board

dedex
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


12788 Comments

Album Rating: 3.7 | Sound Off

"If you have never tweeted — twoot? twat?"



first sentence and I'm already howling. good shit my man, especially liked the Bosch painting comparison

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

i lowkey had an assist on that one, but teamwork makes the dream work

kisses, i go full simp for bosch

parksungjoon
April 20th 2023


47234 Comments


where do i sign up for an assist im needin

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

oh boi i know that feeling

if you're srs, feel free to use either my shoutbox or the awfully-named sputnikmiloreviews@outlook.com to drop a doc. i'm kinda lit up and about to go to bed, but i'll try peep it tomorrow

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


60485 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

the hoes are SAVED sputnik is SAVED we now have 1 sober body in the staff-force praise be to Milo! get off that pinot and write out my 12 steps rn show me your ways

parksungjoon
April 20th 2023


47234 Comments


since ur the first to offer dont mind if i do

AsleepInTheBack
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


10209 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Pos

YoYoMancuso
Staff Reviewer
April 20th 2023


18867 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

this beat is trash

oh my god i'm bout to bust my ass

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 21st 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

12 steps 4 Johnny to quit the Fear Inoculum thread



1. admit that you are powerless over tools — that your flaming has become unmanageable.

2. believe that a band worse than Tool could restore your shitposting nuance

3. make a decision to turn your will and your life over to harassing poptimists

4. make a searching and fearless moral inventory of your low quality bait in the FI thread

5. admit to God, to yourself, and to another human that no note chugs harder than an open D

6. were entirely ready to have God remove all semblance of colourful chords from your vocabulary (the grammar on step 6 is whack)

7. basically step 6 but in practice

8. make a list of all persons you've successfully baited, and post personal apologies in their shoutboxes

9. offer to clean their rooms, except when to do so would injure them or others

10. don't be a cunt, but admit to it if you are

11. make reverend maynard's carrot cry

12. get TOOL tattooed on your forehead

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 29th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

just a quick reminder to the people that this album exists

AmericanFlagAsh
May 4th 2023


13323 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

As fantastic as this album is, I do agree with the RYM review stating that it will not age well

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
May 4th 2023


3031 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

Huh? Can you give me a tl;dr? I'm not allowed to visit RYM, it's a contractual thing

AmericanFlagAsh
May 4th 2023


13323 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Lmao yes, essentially saying it's a good album, but very much a product of the time. It references so many things people will not understand in the long run because they'll be forgotten about. In the future it might feel pretty dated sort of the in the same way The College Dropout does



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