All Time Low
Tell Me I'm Alive


2.0
poor

Review

by Mike K. CONTRIBUTOR (36 Reviews)
March 17th, 2023 | 21 replies


Release Date: 03/17/2023 | Tracklist

Review Summary: All Time Bleh

I wanted to write a whole introduction about my long-term on and off relationship with All Time Low, but after listening to Tell Me I'm Alive, I decided that it was useless. The only point it would really serve to make would be to highlight the fact that All Time Low have written music that has been both hailed as excellent and deplored as repulsive. They are one of the few bands I have followed that with every release, I could never totally predict exactly how good (or bad) it would be.

With Tell Me I'm Alive it’s different though. You see, I can hardly go a day without hearing “Sleepwalking” on the radio. Yes, they’re getting radio play, and lots of it. While the broad-scale airing of their music should theoretically mean they have reached the pinnacle of their years of hard work, you and I know that all it really means is that All Time Low have finally shed any pretense of originality and musical craftsmanship in favor of glossy production, dull songwriting, and commercial success.

That doesn't mean it's all bad, it just means I knew what to expect: a lie.

You were probably expecting me to say something different there, so let me explain. Even at their absolute worst, All Time Low seemed like they were trying to have fun. Maybe they weren’t ever the gift to music that they wanted to be but they were having fun, and wanted you and me to have fun, and often times their music was fun. Tell Me I'm Alive is a lie though, because it’s really only pretending to be fun. It seems like it should be fun, it feels like it should be fun, but it’s actually as fun as shoveling snow or crawling through mud. Their new-found success is so shamelessly exploited that the record is as tasteful as a piece of cardboard dusted with sugar.

All of the components to make it enjoyable are there, but none of them actually do anything. No amount of perfectly placed catchy guitar lines or big choruses can make up for the lack of any effort. Even the tiniest moments when the band does seem to care are rendered meaningless by how bland the rest of it is. Like a cake that has all the ingredients but doesn’t go in the oven, or the friend whose idea of having fun is endlessly watching reruns of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?, Tell Me I'm Alive provides absolutely nothing valuable to the world. I mean ***, even the ironically self-aware title screams how insipidly irrelevant this album is.

Talking about musicianship, lyrics, composition, etc., are all kind of pointless in the face of the pointlessness of this album. It's not even horrible; actually a lot of the ideas on here could be good. They’re just not good, because they have about as much life as a corpse. The album goes through for forty-one(!) minutes not really offending but not accomplishing anything either. It just kind of... is. You could listen to it, feel a vague sense of having listened to a record, and then forget about its very existence just moments later.

Wait, what’s the name of this album again?



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user ratings (34)
2
poor


Comments:Add a Comment 
Manatea
Contributing Reviewer
March 17th 2023


1053 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Blehhhhhh

veninblazer
March 17th 2023


13664 Comments


Yea I might avoid this lol

pizzamachine
March 17th 2023


19589 Comments


What I hear you saying is the album is not fun.

RadioNew03
March 17th 2023


136 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Lousy album, looks like it’s one to skip, I wish it was a slapper 👎

JesperL
Staff Reviewer
March 17th 2023


4795 Comments


nice rev, pointless band, end pop punk

Manatea
Contributing Reviewer
March 17th 2023


1053 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Thanks for stopping by everybody. I used to like this band and honestly i wish this album was better

StonedManatee
March 17th 2023


419 Comments


People still listen to All Time Low in 2023? Is it 2013 again??? lmfao 🤣

Feather
March 17th 2023


8645 Comments


I applaud you for actually listening to this to make a review! Sounds like this is more on par with Last Young Renegade/Future Heart/Dirty Work as opposed to the "Good - Decent" Don't Panic/Wake Up Sunshine. Band should have called it quits after Nothing Personal.

Manatea
Contributing Reviewer
March 17th 2023


1053 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

So Wrong it’s Right is their best and most lasting work imo but yeah they should have called it quits a long time ago.



Also there is another manatee in our midst

Feather
March 17th 2023


8645 Comments


All the way! Double manatee! Oh, my God—it's a double manatee all the way! Whoa, that's so intense!

pizzamachine
March 17th 2023


19589 Comments


Lol

FrozenFirebug
March 17th 2023


123 Comments


i don't get it does the record have bleghs or not

OwMySnauze
March 17th 2023


2485 Comments


All Time Meh?!

JayEnder
March 17th 2023


15780 Comments


Should have put "All Time Blow" but I understand why you didn't

Faraudo
March 17th 2023


4229 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Someone tell them to stop

hobblepot
March 17th 2023


2875 Comments


Fuck this pedo band

Manatea
Contributing Reviewer
March 18th 2023


1053 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Didn’t realize they were pedos.

Also @Jay yeah i should have…

HermesOfSuburbia
March 18th 2023


1 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Worst ATL Album, its unbelivable.

MoM
March 18th 2023


2084 Comments


“Fuck this pedo band”

Wait, what is this?

Also, i love Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Manatea
Contributing Reviewer
March 19th 2023


1053 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Lol MoM it’s all good. It’s not a bad show, but endlessly watching it…idk about that.



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