Review Summary: Dragons included. Instant 5/5, but it turns out the music is good too.
If power metal was perfect you would get an album that’s exactly like this one, and specifically this album. Indeed, this album rules so hard that Christopher Lee is in it, which is is the ultimate indicator of quality. Yet the album gets even better, for here there be dragons. It’s a little weird, but when dragons wiggle their tails I shiver. Dragons are hot, okay? I don’t really need to explain this one, but I will. They fly, and glisten in the air like gods or an airbrushed model. Plus, they have a massive tail which is just elegant. Just imagine how big their…
But I digress, for there is music behind the scintillating art. Now I know what you’re thinking, it’s just another power metal band. That’s where you’re correct but also wrong. It’s not just any PM band, it’s Rhapsody Of Ball-Slapping Fire. The endless riffs are sent from Heaven, and the kick drums are kicked like the sound of a thousand running Orcs crushing Frodo’s face cause he runs like a wimp. Indeed, there are Lord of the Rings musical farts around every corner, like how dragons wait for you in the darkness, giving you that smouldering eye.
Here we have a band that thousands of power metal bands attempt to mimic every year, and that includes the good ones. That is because this band/album slaps dick with no relent. Par exampla, singer man manages to have a higher voice than chipmunks on helium, yet still sounds manlier than the sound of me shoveling snow. That’s manly as *** btw, and frankly, singing power metal men rarely sound as angelic.
In conclusion, in this album you get dragons, riffs, cannon fire drums, and Hell fire vocals. Pick an analogy, but no analogy can butter my cream quite like these musicians. The lyrics are literally an epic tale, dragons have epic tails, and cute scales, and omg I love this album. Everything you could want from this album is in it, including a free head massage. What are you waiting for, a professional review? *** that, the album doesn’t need to be critiqued. On the third day god created this album, take my word for it.
In summarizations:
Catchy choruses ✔️
Heavy riffs ✔️
Shreds ✔️
Dragons ✔️
Best power metal ever ✔️ ✔️ ✔️
