Review Summary: A Minortimbo12 and Pizzamachine Production
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Hello everyone! Welcome back to Channel Two News! This is Minortimbo and today we will looking at the upcoming festival of Skillet's Unleashed! So pizzamachine, what will the weather be like?
The weather sucks, but more importantly my life sucks. I’m here to witness the destruction of music, and the birth of all things unholy before my tired eyes. Skillet are ready no matter the weather to play their trend abusing pop/pop rock and play it off as hard rock. Honestly, once this festival is over I fully expect to have a crisis. I can already see trucks of parents dropping off their preteens to this event. My god… I can smell the sweat from here. Back to you!
Ho boy, How bout that for the weather? Some crazy teenage fan girls will enjoy that! Speaking of Skillet, they just released their new T-shirts! What are your thoughts about it?
I like the colour blue, but idc why John wanted to look like a glowing beaver in a nightclub, it’s not sexy and I LOVE beavers. Pretty sure something’s growing on him too… I’m not sure what they were thinking when they approved that art but the Illuminati are definitely behind it. Back to you timbo.
And what’s with that giraffe neck on there? I would not like to see that guy in real life. And his ears are sitting above his eyes? Awful, awful stuff. Sounds like a MUST have for those preteens! I can almost hear the preteens chanting Skillet's name, impatiently waiting for the time of their life! Oh, wait, I literally hear them... I literally hear them! They’re already waiting for Skillet, impatiently awaiting what they think is the sweetest sound aroma ever! [talks to directors] Aroma? Is that... (aroma?) valid word usage? I think it should be, oh never mind. Pizza, what are your thoughts about this uncontainable excitement?
Yeah I’m sure people are excited. I am not “people”. Skillet are basically the Nickelback of Christian false metal, popping their metal cherries but not actually giving them metal. It’s really cute wet blanket stuff for kids that haven’t potty trained but I’m not very excited. How about you MINORTIMBO12? Are you excited?
I'm excited to see the excited preteens! I don't really like the music, (who does LOL) but watching the hyped crowd will actually be fun! ... This just in, we are receiving breaking report news that Skillet is starting early! It's here! You can hear the extremely catchy BEW BEW of their new single! It's here! What are your thoughts?
… *stares at the screen for a few minutes* um yeah I don’t know what I witnessed but it looks like John shot a firecracker from his butt.
*goes silent in horror*
*another five min. of silence* I think that pumped up the diseased crowd even more...
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