Five Finger Death Punch
AfterLife


1.0
awful

Review

by FreakMachine USER (41 Reviews)
August 22nd, 2022 | 194 replies


Release Date: 2022 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A certified dumpster fire.

Divisive doesn't go far enough to describe the public perception of Five Finger Death Punch. A band that spent the largest part of their career following the template set down by bands like Pantera and, later, Lamb Of God, whilst dumbing down the riffs to an almost unbearable standard. Their first three albums found a niche within the "gateway bands" category, serving as a nice introduction to heavier music for younger people who rely upon a singular catchy riff to declare a song satisfactory, and everything since 'American Capitalist' has generally been met with derision. Initial reception to 2022's 'Afterlife' was extremely negative, from the singles to the snippets of news surrounding it, and the final product is - unsurprisingly - an extremely poor album.

"Welcome To The Circus" opens the album, and those familiar with its predecessor will know to expect the most streamlined, commercial production conceivable, mixed with cringe-inducing lyrics and insipid riffing. "You've gotta kill somebody to thrill somebody, everybody needs a reason to breathe," the vocalist declares, before launching into a maelstrom of cussing and immaturity. The chorus is woeful, and the change in riff is almost imperceptable due to how processed the record sounds. This is reminiscent of later Drowning Pool or Mudvayne in how formulaic and designed purely for airplay it is, and whilst this is not always terrible, it certainly is here. "AfterLife" opens with a pointless solitary guitar that leads into yet more generic groove riffing, coupled with Ivan Moody's "tough guy" vocals. This guy is like Phil Anselmo devoid of any charisma, and sucked dry of any positives whatsoever. He attempts to take the same sound, but falls flat, and with lyrics like "you cut your nose off just to spite your effing face, that's who you are, you know your place," is is impossible to take him seriously.

To go through the album track-by-track would be senseless, and a total waste of time. The reader doubtless already knows what to expect - more forced catchy hooks in the chorus, dull and untalented guitar riffs, and the occasional solo or chuggier bridge section. "Roll Dem Bones" might be the worst offender here, opening with a vocal passage that turns off my interest before the riff even kicks in, and when it does it is like a later-era Asking Alexandria riff. I truly wish there were a way of speaking positively about this album, or at least shying away from sounding like a rant, but when every other word in the album is a cuss and every riff sounds like the previous one, it becomes difficult. Somebody, somewhere clearly still likes the garbage this band churns out every three years, and more power to them as they're clearly a more tolerant person than myself, and aren't likely to be reading this review anyway. For anybody else, stay well away from this dumpster fire.



Recent reviews by this author
The Cramps Psychedelic JungleCryptopsy As Gomorrah Burns
Confined Eternal Fury of the DisillusionedMegadeth The System Has Failed
Lamb of God ResolutionStone Sour Come What(ever) May
user ratings (108)
1.7
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
FreakMachine
August 22nd 2022


1913 Comments


I was one of those people who used to enjoy their early stuff, and not only as a gateway into heavier music, but this was something else. Don't go near it.

Flugmorph
August 22nd 2022


34641 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

ok MCR fanboy

Mort.
August 22nd 2022


25825 Comments


'dont go near it'

least needed warning

Kusangii
August 22nd 2022


6835 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Band is almost as good as Ulcerate

FreakMachine
August 22nd 2022


1913 Comments


"ok MCR fanboy" Theres a shitload of us fam

Flugmorph
August 22nd 2022


34641 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

we are legion

FreakMachine
August 22nd 2022


1913 Comments


"we are legion" - Emo Subculture will never die so long as i survive

shoedog2020
August 22nd 2022


9 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

They just try to make albums as cringe as possible. What’s up with the production too ? There is nothing “real” about their sound. I just went to listen to some old school 70s produced hard rock after this shit.

shoedog2020
August 22nd 2022


9 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

They just try to make albums as cringe as possible. What’s up with the production too ? There is nothing “real” about their sound. I just went to listen to some old school 70s produced hard rock after this shit.

AeniasGaming
August 22nd 2022


325 Comments


[deleted]

FreakMachine
August 22nd 2022


1913 Comments


"These guys have only ever made two remotely good songs. Good review." Their early stuff, whilst objectively average, is still somewhat enjoyable. This is a caricature of it.

DaveyMonsoon
August 22nd 2022


1146 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

First two are... tolerable, I guess (at least to a band like this). Everything after that is some of the most blandest of bland imaginable. They literally exist at this point just so Ivan can have his paycheck.

ISeeDarkly
August 22nd 2022


39 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Production is fascinating. Like bubble-gum/k-pop levels of compression. And the weird dance-beat drums on “Circus”… I mean, what do you even call this?

FreakMachine
August 22nd 2022


1913 Comments


It's just atrocious all round.

Kusangii
August 22nd 2022


6835 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Still blows my mind how popular these guys really are



They're so damn popular that they make MEGADETH open for them. Think about that.

Trebor.
Emeritus
August 22nd 2022


59912 Comments


In the running for worst band ever

Ikarus14
August 22nd 2022


1454 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

Gotta say, Gold Gutter is a hell of a guilty pleasure.

Em1994
August 22nd 2022


1118 Comments


Not jamming.

If this is as bad as everyone is saying theres no point. Just a waste of time ppl should just save themselves the 45 mins or whatever I dont see a need

Kusangii
August 22nd 2022


6835 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Never thought of it until now but this band name is hilariously awful too

Flugmorph
August 22nd 2022


34641 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

"Still blows my mind how popular these guys really are"



chud haven



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy