Animals As Leaders
Parrhesia


4.0
excellent

Review

by pizzamachine USER (261 Reviews)
May 13th, 2022 | 57 replies


Release Date: 03/25/2022 | Tracklist

Review Summary: “so you're abusing the website to make troll reviews?”

8 out of 4 thought this review was well written, jk

There is absolutely no reason or sense in reviewing this album. This is a band that everyone knows at this point and if you don’t I hope your musical pie chart goes up in flames because you do not deserve it. You do not deserve Sputnikmusic. Leave. Like I said, we all know this band. But just in case an uneducated person is reading this review for God knows why, this band does instrumental djent, progressive metalcore, mathy wankey ***, whatever you wanna call it. I just call this confusing metal. In fact, the album is so confusing that I had no idea what time signature I was listening to when I danced to it, but dance I did under the moonlit sky.🕺🏻

You gotta admit this *** got rhythm. It’s even tighter than a naked molerat’s pussy. You already know this, but some of you Sputnik whiners are probably only gonna rate this a 3 because it’s been done before. That’s not a very professional attitude cause this *** is epic and I want them to sign my man tits. Waffles have been done before, but they’re always delicious (especially with syrup and whipped cream and blueberries and strawberries and bananas and cinnamon). Case and point. Really cool riffs and hypnotizing drum patterns are still ***ing cool? Wow, who woulda thunk. An entire album full of them? That doesn’t sound like stagnation or mediocrity to me, more like worthy of slamming a beer down to while pillaging the nearest town, minus the murdering children part.

If I was to put on my professional reviewer glasses, I might decide to write a third paragraph, or perhaps thirty paragraphs to explain in due detail exactly why this album exceeds my lofty expectations, but like I said, this review wasn’t needed and I’ve already said much too much and I don’t want to bore you so much that you don’t want to listen to this quite enjoyable album that does indeed meet my lofty expectations obviously. This is good music. I enjoy it as much as any other Animals as Leaders album because after all, all of their albums are exactly the same (although some are better produced like this one). Now that I have properly described this album in immense detail, don’t forget to listen to this album.

But before you do that allow me to leave you with more musical descriptions. There are drums. There are heavy guitars. There is more than one time signature. There is more than one song. That’s pretty cool if you ask me. Conclusion: good album.

Conclusion: cool music.

In summary: I enjoy it.



Was this review well written? Yes.


Conclusion: nice songs.

Was this Review Well Written? Yes | No

Was this Review Well Written? No | No

Was this Review Well Written? Maybe | I think so

Was this Review Well Written? Fuck yes | Obviously



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user ratings (173)
3.6
great
other reviews of this album
TooManyFriends (2.5)
Technically music...

dfa (4.5)
Fast and focused...



Comments:Add a Comment 
pizzamachine
May 13th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

My magnum opus m/

MO
May 13th 2022


23603 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

nice. albums good, but a little over the top

pizzamachine
May 13th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Only a lot

Mort.
May 14th 2022


17768 Comments


i honestly dont understand who even bothers negging your reviews

Digging: As Cities Burn - Son, I Loved You At Your Darkest

pizzamachine
May 14th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I’m so used to ghost negs that it’s amusing at this point.

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


I can give you some advice, try and make it longer, use italics, use bold, if a word you're using is ***, use a different word. Capture the album with the experiece you had, use a thesaurus if possible. Good band but not my thing.

Digging: Countless Skies - Glow

pizzamachine
May 14th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Fuck your expectations. I like to write reviews that don’t bore people to death, and simultaneously troll cynical peeps like you. Go read a SowingSeason review.

pizzamachine
May 14th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Spoiler alert: this wasn’t an entirely seriously written review.

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


so you're abusing the website to make troll reviews?

MO
May 14th 2022


23603 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

lol, abusing the website. please

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


i keep forgetting this is an echo chamber now

pizzamachine
May 14th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

No, I’m subverting your expectations which is not abuse.

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


well at least put some thought into it, or pick a different band, this band sucks

Purpl3Spartan
May 14th 2022


3506 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Was entertained



Have a pos

Digging:

MO
May 14th 2022


23603 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

"well at least put some thought into it, or pick a different band, this band sucks"



then why are you reading this in the first place?

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


i read everything (:

MO
May 14th 2022


23603 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

then clearly you have read plenty of other "troll" reviews, did you cry about those too?

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


no. are you still posting hot girls on the forum? good times, you had the best ones

pizzamachine
May 14th 2022


15040 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

“well at least put some thought into it“



You may not believe this, but I was actually thinking about the review while I was writing it.

wutang4ever
May 14th 2022


794 Comments


crazy, sad attempt, site has gone down the abyss last 3 years, ive read some great troll reviews but this looks like something written by a 14 year old



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