Review Summary: Are there explosions in an average album?
Adam Gontier thought this review was well written
This is technically a decent release. The choruses are decent, the singing is decent, the riffs are decent. The album is decent. It is a decent descent into decently done decentness. How mundane. Seriously, I gave this album a fighting chance. I wanted to love it. I listened to it non-stop all day long and my final word is this: average. There’s a couple things that ain’t sitting right, and don’t tell me it’s cause I’m just a cynical cunt who never gets laid. Don’t tell me that you cynical ***.
#1: the vocals 🎤
The vocals are nasally as ***. The singer also sounds like he’s trying way too hard to sound like the original singer. At points I coulda swore I actually heard the old singer singing some stuff. But no, it’s just this asshole. There are moments where he sounds surprisingly great, but other than that it sounds like he’s barely trying. C’mon man, at least do a couple more vocal takes, holy ***, is that the best you got? Damn.
#2. the production 🎧
The production is squeaky clean and polished, but like a polished, clean rock that has dog *** on it, this production ain’t it. It’s amazing how much better their 2009 album, Life Starts Now, sounds. You can hear bass notes. The guitars have thickness, and the drums kinda slap. Explosions, on the other hand, has flaccid penis drums, and compressed guitars to the point where it sounds programmed. There is no punch, or explosion from my dick. It all feels kind of lifeless like your favourite stuffed dinosaur after I murder it for you negging this review.
#3: the lyrics 📝
The lyrics sound like they’re attempting to copy the lyrical style of One-X. Instead the singer sounds like a child whining about ***, but not in the cool way like Korn does.
#4: congratulations, you have survived another *** review
It’s not a perfect album but there’s still some great *** here, and by great I actually mean decent. It’s only a decent album. I already told you that, catch up. The choruses are kinda catchy if you can trudge through the generic, forgettable, hollow verses. Oh wait, but verses make up half of the album. Damn. Those drums are also so forgettable that I forgot to talk about them until now…. at the end of the review.
