Attila
Closure


1.0
awful

Review

by Shamus248 USER (111 Reviews)
July 27th, 2021 | 61 replies


Release Date: 2021 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Emo Quagmire is back with another atrocity.

New Attila albums are exciting for everyone. For fans of the group, it's another round of pizza, sex and trolls from "Atlanta's wildest crew." For me, it's a chance to boost those objectivity numbers. Having been exposed to this band in high school and struggling mightily to say anything good about them, to say my relationship with their music is tenuous would be a gross understatement. 2014's Guilty Pleasure maintains its place as one of the worst albums of all time, while 2016's Chaos and 2019's Villain were embarrassingly marginal improvements. My most enduring contention with Attila is that frontman Chris Fronzak, who looks like what you'd get if Onision had never stopped pouring the kombucha, packaged three consecutive full length albums with constant reminders that he "doesn't care about your opinion." He's also a creep, to the surprise of only those who still view The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me and Science Fiction as some kind of riveting allegories on depression and vulnerability. Nevertheless, Emo Quagmire persists and it's sure to be another magnum opus on this newest offering Closure.

Album opener "Anxiety" almost had me. Following the same vein as previous surprise standouts like "Subhuman", Fronz feeds into themes of self loathing, mostly relying on guttural uncleans in the opening bars, backed by punishing instrumentals. Visions of a matured Attila going somewhere dark to bring these words to life sprung abound until Fronz let his creepy signature tonality take over in the second verse and promptly began promising "one day I'm gonna ****ing snap." On a dime, this one went from nominally interesting to downright petrifying. You can tell these guys are really shooting for the stars this time.

"Empty Clip" immediately dabbled into similar territory. I know Fronz and Frankie Palmeri are good buddies, and I'm guessing this was Fronz's way of proving he too can have a school shooter fetish. Stylistically, it plays like a Chaos B-side, coupling the band's worst hip hop tendencies with laughable vocal delivery. Lyrically, these have to be the most ironic passages I've ever skimmed through. A man who groomed underage girls on his OnlyFans is out here threatening people with violence because "I got receipts." Settle down Chris, your Onision is showing. "Day Drinking" is...well, it's definitely a song. If Fronz crossdressing in the music video and trying his hand at country music is what you're interested in, then you might actually enjoy a track that makes Florida Georgia Line look like modern day Socrates by comparison.

As Closure trucks along, we're treated to even more thought provoking stanzas like "thick bitches, fit bitches, i don't give a *** bitches" and "I wanna take your flesh, I wanna wear your face." "Clarity" closes the album with Fronz reaffirming how out of touch the rest of us really are because "life is a celebration" and we'll "never be a part of it." I never thought Attila would make an album worse than Guilty Pleasure, but God damn it, they did. I would almost prefer 2019's Villain in contrast with its middling and unadventurous compositions. Closure sees Attila trying really hard to recapture what their previous four albums were already defined by, though this time with even cringier vocals and remarkably dumber lyrics. It's been an interesting senescence from offensive to boring to just embarrassing. How anyone can not laugh and ridicule these insufferable morons into submission is as remarkable as the fact that they somehow outdid even the worst of their back catalog.

Had A Day to Remember and Architects not tried to out-dad rock each other earlier this year, Attila would be taking home another coveted worst album of the year trophy. But I guess there's no shame in Fronz Bronze.



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user ratings (52)
2
poor


Comments:Add a Comment 
Shamus248
July 27th 2021


761 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

wtf is that average

Kompys2000
Staff Reviewer
July 27th 2021


9320 Comments


I stand by "day drinking" being the least terrible thing this band's done in years

That said I can't imagine this is any more than a 1.5 or so

Shamus248
July 27th 2021


761 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Let's Get Abducted, Pizza and Subhuman are the only remotely listenable songs by them imo



on second thought, they slandered pineapple pizza so i don't even give them that one

zaruyache
July 27th 2021


27219 Comments


he'll yeah

Purpl3Spartan
July 27th 2021


8192 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

What a hilarious graph

hangth3dj
July 27th 2021


721 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I've been known to enjoy the lowest common denominator of metal from time to time, but I couldn't even finish this garbage.

SteakByrnes
July 27th 2021


29493 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

"I stand by "day drinking" being the least terrible thing this band's done in years"



that was like the shittiest thing on here for me lol. Intro track is okay and then everything else sucks

Kompys2000
Staff Reviewer
July 28th 2021


9320 Comments


Idk I feel like the """country""" influence makes Fronz's overall vibe more palatable

Tranqyl
July 28th 2021


472 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I will never bring myself to be able to fully hate Atilla. At the same time, Chris being in his thirties makes this kind of sad.



And, Steak, Day Drinking is classic Attila. An absurdly stupid alcoholic anthem that would probably have been played at parties a decade ago by metalcore frat-bros. How can you not love it?

FearThyEvil
July 28th 2021


18262 Comments


Call me boring or whatever but I cannot never get behind a bands existence to basically just write party music when making music like this and not pop music that is. I cannot stand it

veninblazer
July 28th 2021


16749 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

G-Squad is a scourge that must be shot out of a cannon and into oblivion. We already have Ghostemane, we don't need a white fuckboy trying to be Ghostemane. Opening and closing tracks are decent though.

Devastator
July 28th 2021


4387 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I believe you would find a surprising correlation between the amount of people who enjoy this music and people that stormed the capital building.

mrdogthrow
July 28th 2021


2116 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

"Chris being in his thirties makes this kind of sad."

worse than his onlyfans?

Tranqyl
July 28th 2021


472 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

"worse than his onlyfans?"

Hey, that's just a classic Attila lore moment. Free money.



Zeiu
July 28th 2021


287 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

My 31 year old alcoholic party girl neighbor fucking loves this band. Plays this shit on repeat and tries to introduce them to everyone. She sits on her ass all day drinking, yelling at strangers walking by to join her for a beer. Gets mad when they don't respond. I'm not going to listen to this because I've heard enough passing by.

SteakByrnes
July 28th 2021


29493 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

"And, Steak, Day Drinking is classic Attila. An absurdly stupid alcoholic anthem that would probably have been played at parties a decade ago by metalcore frat-bros. How can you not love it?"



Idk they've been able to make stupid alcoholic anthems and have them be fun at the same time before (Shots for the Boys, Strikeout, etc.), but Day Drinking just sucks and is a genre mashup that shouldn't happen ever again

Zeiu
July 28th 2021


287 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Doesn't have a job or seemingly resume, has a DUI and can't drive, refuses to accept responsibility for driving drunk. Lives off CERB. Asked me earlier today to drop her off at the beer store, told her no. Mind you I already blocked her number because I don't want to enable her bullshit and told her so. Nothing to do with Atilla but this seems to be their prime fanbase asides from shitfaced teenagers so fuck them.

Nikkolae
July 28th 2021


6546 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

damn zeiu tell me how you really feel

Get Low
July 28th 2021


14104 Comments


This is their worst album yet

JeetJeet
July 28th 2021


12042 Comments


Every Attila album is their worst album yet lmao
Except Rage and Outlawed, I admit those were fun.



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