Lana Del Rey
Chemtrails Over The Country Club


1.5
very poor

Review

by TheMoonchild USER (155 Reviews)
March 23rd, 2021 | 38 replies


Release Date: 03/19/2021 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The type of album that people who hate Lana Del Rey thinks she makes all the time.

To be rather blunt, the year and a half between Elizabeth "Lana Del Rey" Grant's 2019 surprise smash hit Norman Fucking Rockwell! and her latest clunker Chemtrails Over the Country Club has been one rather entertaining rollercoaster of a shit show. To summarize: she released a clumsily-titled book full of pretentious poetry called "Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass", coupled with a spoken word record full of recitations of said poems, went off on some bizarre rant about how she's apparently facing some double standard because she writes about uncomfortable subjects that other female pop stars romanticize and getting shit for it, went off on weird racist tangents, did a meet and greet with fans in the midst of a pandemic and wore a face mask made of netting, and so on. One could probably suggest that Lana Del Rey is under one hell of a microscope, and you could also debate whether or not its entirely warranted. But the fact of the matter is, all these incidents are so characteristic of Lana Del Rey and who she is, that it can't entirely be surprising that she's being criticized for them in the same way she usually is for her music. Quite simply put, no matter what Lana Del Rey was going to do after NFR!, she was going to be criticized for it. She could have released an 18 minute epic that puts "Venice Bitch" to shame, and somewhere out there, some small group of people out there would have crucified her for it. So it's no surprised that her latest album is getting all sorts of negative criticism lately. The question is, is any of it warranted?

Sadly, the answer is yes. The fact of the matter is, Chemtrails Over the Country Club is exactly the kind of album that people who hate Lana Del Rey thinks she makes all the time. Everything you could think of that Lana Del Rey gets criticized for is not just present on Chemtrails: "boring music", bad singing, even worse lyricism (ie. "Yosemite" literally begins with her rhyming "change" with, you guessed it, "change") and despite this, overly sterile production that has plagued her music since Born to Die. This makes up the majority of the album, and it's laughably apparent from the moment the album begins. "White Dress" begins with a very robotic piano opening and what can only be properly described as Del Rey giving her worst Billie Eilish impression. The song does not get better after this; it proceeds to plod along at a snails pace without ever finding something resembling a hook, for nearly six minutes. It lays the groundwork for the rest of the album, which appears to have been made according to a "Lana Del Rey checklist": slow acoustic openings? Check. Bullshit "Americana" cliches? Check. Slow and drippy piano? Check. Rarely ever does the album deviate from this formula, so much that the moments where the album DOES shake things up, such as the jazzy bridge on "Dance Till We Die" comes off as cold, calculated risk. You needn't worry about tracks like "Venice Bitch" or "Hope is a Dangerous Thing..." being topped by any of the songs on Chemtrails; Lana herself not only doesn't rise to the task, she apparently isn't interested in doing such a thing.

The end result is 45 minutes of every single negative stereotype that Lana Del Rey has thrown at her by the public being perpetuated. That the typical Lana tracks like "Tulsa Jesus Freak" and the album's title track are the best on the album is very telling. For every one of those tracks, we get 3 boring snoozers like "Dark But Just a Game" and "Breaking Up Slowly". As a result, we get what can basically only be properly be described as what could happen if a YouTuber were to make a tutorial on how to make a Lana Del Rey album. Quite simply and bluntly, Chemtrails is exactly what people who hate Lana thinks she sounds like all the time. So Lana needn't worry about being criticized for double standards anymore; the only thing this music will be criticized for will be making probably the best unintentional sleeping pill on the market.



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user ratings (198)
2.8
good
other reviews of this album
JohnnyoftheWell STAFF (1.5)
It was such a scene / and I felt seen...

LaughingSkull (4.5)
The State wins. Flawless (!?) Victory....



Comments:Add a Comment 
TheMoonchild
March 23rd 2021


1297 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

May this album stand long as a testament for exactly how NOT to follow up the biggest smash hit of your career.

Snake.
March 23rd 2021


22800 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

why does this have so many 1s lmao who did she hurt

DivergentThinking
Contributing Reviewer
March 23rd 2021


8680 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

The most amusing part about all of this is the amount of angry reacts on the Sputnik Facebook page because of the reception this album’s getting on here 😂

tyman128
Contributing Reviewer
March 23rd 2021


2408 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

here come the Lana stans again

Digging: Taylor Swift - Fearless (Taylor?s Version)

Nocte
Staff Reviewer
March 23rd 2021


13964 Comments


What is up with that rating chart?

DivergentThinking
Contributing Reviewer
March 23rd 2021


8680 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

It looks like the stats for a custom video game character

Egarran
March 23rd 2021


21957 Comments


But actually 2.9 avg seems pretty correct, so the system works.

LaughingSkull
March 23rd 2021


685 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

the review sounds like a generally fair assessment, so pos.

but I feel like you need to chill a bit lol ... and maybe give the album 1-2 more spins, and then reassess a bit.



just as an example, Dark But Just a Game is definitely the most outstanding and interesting track compared to the others here, but you bunched it up with the country diner bop Breaking Up Slowly. Surely they must be discernible from one another to you?



The type of album that people who hate Lana Del Rey thinks she makes all the time.


yeah, I suppose that's right.... But now that's yet more food for my insane "two different Lanas" theory ahahah





overly sterile production that has plagued her music since Born to Die


Sigh, that's one of these things which I myself can never get over, no matter how big of a fan I am...



I think best Lana is Lana on 11 and can't stand it when she and her mates turn it all the way down.

Surely it must be telling to her that when her live shows' setlists are composed almost entirely of bangers, that this clearly is the format that her audience prefers, and that she should subsequently stick with that particular format?



obviously some songs DO need that more gentle sound, but she too often abuses "gentle", turning into "almost dead" instead.

Egarran
March 24th 2021


21957 Comments


Woah

zzzz69
March 24th 2021


3 Comments


Wow, it's almost like you guys have an axe to grind or something. Kewl review.

DivergentThinking
Contributing Reviewer
March 24th 2021


8680 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

"zzzz69"

zzzz69
March 24th 2021


3 Comments


"DivergentThinking", indeed. Sputnik so eDgY.

zzzz69
March 24th 2021


3 Comments


"DivergentThinking", indeed. Sputnik so eDgY.

TheMoonchild
March 24th 2021


1297 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Sputnik had a facebook page? Well, that's news to me.

TheMoonchild
March 24th 2021


1297 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Also considering how ridiculously high the bar was set with NFR, y'all can't be surprised this album is... Erm, polarizing. Even Honeymoon was closer to being universally loved when it got released.

Jacquibim
Staff Reviewer
March 24th 2021


4753 Comments


They're dumping angry reacts on every subsequent post too. Dang.

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
March 24th 2021


34829 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

RIP ArsMoriendi's digbox :[

Digging: Xiu Xiu - OH NO

alamo
March 24th 2021


3771 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Tú me dejaste de querer cuando menos lo esperaba (hale)

Cuando más te quería (madrileño)

Se te fueron la' gana' (uh, ah)



DivergentThinking
Contributing Reviewer
March 24th 2021


8680 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

I will say, I’m having a lot of fun commenting on the FB posts 😂

porcupinetheater
Contributing Reviewer
March 24th 2021


7545 Comments


R.I.P. the Moonchild's approval rating. You poked the bear, amigo



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