Review Summary: June 5th, 1959 - October 4th, 2020
Darlingside was the only concert I ever convinced my dad to go to with me. The main music that my dad listened to was largely Original Broadway Cast Recordings of musicals, pop and folk music from the fifties and sixties (but not Bob Dylan), and, for some reason,
We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things by Jason Mraz. We definitely shared a love of musical theatre, with my musical listening habits being about 75% some obscure, overly sad music and the other 25% being showtunes, especially with Dad. We went to countless musicals together, discussed them immensely, he directed me in multiple, and all of this led to Hamilton being my most-listened to album of the decade, which would surely ruin my “cool music” cred. I knew my mom would enjoy Darlingside and for some reason I had a sneaking suspicion that my dad would too, if only because he thought mandolins were cool and I felt like he would enjoy the old-timey style of singing around one microphone. So I invited my parents, we got some drinks with my mom’s co-workers at a bar that has since been closed due to the Iowa floods last summer, and we made our way to the River Music Experience on April 19th, 2019 to see Darlingside. It was a small crowd, my dad thought the opener was pretty boring (sorry Lula Wiles), but he actually quite enjoyed Darlingside. He took a short video and posted it on Facebook, we listened to them in the car a few times together after that as well. I moved to St. Louis in August of that year and was happy to share that moment with him, even if I spent more of the concert worried that my dad wouldn’t enjoy it than I took to actually enjoy the band. That show was on April 19th, 2019. It’s been a little more than 18 months since that show. On October 3rd, 2020, I turned 24. On October 4th, 2020, my dad died. On October 9th, 2020, Darlingside released
Fish Pond Fish.
As I’m writing this, it’s been 8 days since my dad died. I haven’t listened to showtunes in those 8 days, except for the ones that we chose to play at his funeral. After getting the call from my mom on Sunday morning, I drove the four hours back home from St. Louis. I drove in silence for the first hour, and then chose
A Lesson in Romantics by Mayday Parade to play in the background. I don’t know why I chose that album, but it was a good distraction and it played about three times for the rest of my drive. I haven’t listened to any other music since that day. I wanted to listen to the new Touche Amore, but wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to handle the gut punch, since I figured death of a parent would be a prominent theme. I also haven’t interacted with anything that reminds me of my dad, although that’s getting better. I still won’t go into the basement where his workspace was. I won’t sit in his chair in the living room. Luckily my parents moved after I moved out and they didn’t have any kids left in the house, so there aren’t quite as many memories in this house. So it’s odd that even though I’ve been both avoiding music and things that remind me of my dad, the new Darlingside album is the one I chose to re-enter the musical world with. They’re pretty much the only band I could listen to that I have direct memories tied with to my dad. But I’m also trying to find him in everything, and so maybe he sent this Darlingside album to me? Which also doesn’t make much sense, because obviously this album has been planned for quite some time. But I find comfort in the thought, so I’m sticking with it anyway.
Fish Pond Fish used a drum machine, or at least some sort of percussion, much more prominently than Darlingside’s past work. 2018’s
Extralife had a few electronic moments, mostly provided courtesy of a little soundboard-type thing that they talked about at the concert. They had coincidentally got it nearby to our hometown and it was a bit of an antique and I remember my dad thinking that was really cool, largely because he was also an antique dealer and history buff, especially the history of the Quad Cities, where he had lived his entire life. Outside of those brief electronic moments, Darlingside was largely a very traditional band, with a modern twist. Each member was multi-instrumentalist and switch between songs, which my dad also loved and thought was incredibly impressive, and also perform in a bluegrass style gathered around one microphone, where they each sing incredibly impressive and tight harmonies. Darlingside provided an interesting interpretation of that old folks of the 70s and 80s, a Simon and Garfunkel-esque vibe. I think that’s why I thought my dad would like them, and especially why my mom would. In the midst of those showtunes would be The Mamas & The Papas or Peter, Paul and Mary. He would sing “Puff, the Magic Dragon” to me and my sisters to put us to sleep and would still sing it to his first granddaughter, who he absolutely adored and who adored him. His first grandson will be born any day now. He wanted nothing more than to meet him. This style of 70s folk that he enjoyed made me think that maybe, just maybe, he would enjoy Darlingside. I’m happy that I was right.
Parts of
Fish Pond Fish present Darlingside by way of Bon Iver, especially from the self-titled era. Musically, “Green + Evergreen” could fit perfectly into that album, with the percussion fitting surprisingly well for a band that used it sparingly. While I think it’s a welcome addition, my dad would not have enjoyed this version of Darlingside quite as much. This was the man who said that Bon Iver mumbled too much that one time he performed on Saturday Night Live. He liked his music simple, unless it was Carol Channing backed by a full orchestra and a chorus of dancing waiters. Part of this branching out from Darlingside was done out of necessity. They began the writing and recording process in late 2019, but were cut short due to the pandemic. They still wanted to create music and this album, even though they couldn’t be in a physical space together, an interesting issue for a band that normally stands within inches of each other and shares a microphone. They had to find creative ways to create together and each of them got to explore different strengths, including new creative opportunities. My family is incredibly close and my dad wanted nothing more than for us to be together at all times. We tried as much as we could, but this year made it harder than normal due to COVID. We would Zoom with each other, I would get tested and come home for weeks at a time, especially after we lost the election I was working on. We found ways to be together, as we couldn’t gather in person in order to protect my pregnant sister and my parents. My dad died from a heart attack anyway. We worse masks to the visitation and funeral and couldn’t hug anyone. He was going to come to St. Louis for the first time in months today to help me move into a new apartment. We were both very excited.
That isn’t to say that the old Darlingside is gone, with the second half of the album building on what they did in
Extralife and improving on it. The double feature of “Time Will Be” and “February/Stars” is stunning, with the former largely replicating their simple sound but more fleshed out and the latter very effectively incorporating percussion. “Time Will Be” present a stunningly simple message on the fleeting passage of life: “Time will be the life of me/And time will be the death of me”. My dad would have said they need happier lyrics. He was 61 years old when he died on Sunday. I’ll forever treasure the 24 years I had on this planet with him, but will also always think of how incredibly unfair it was that he was taken so soon. I take comfort in thinking that he’s with his parents now, who died when they were sixty-two. I was young when they died and barely remember them. He’s also filling out his family tree now and meeting all of the ancestors he was so excited to learn about while doing genealogy. I get incredibly sad and angry when I think he won’t be here to meet or hold his new grandson. In that way, heaven seems like it would be torture to him. All he wanted was for our family to be able to be together, and now we are and he can’t be with us. That seems like a serious flaw in heaven and has been bothering me greatly. I keep saying I need to talk to a priest to figure that out. It’s bothered me greatly.
Fish Pond Fish ends with “A Light On In The Dark”, maybe the best song that they’ve written. A perfect blend of their old sound and their slightly reimagined now sound, with some really impactful banjo playing. It’s a song about turning outward to try to connect with people, something I’ve never had issues with before and something I would say I’m quite good at typically. I’ve struggled with it the past few days. Darlingside’s album is very good, but it’s hard for me to rate it properly because it’s been hard for me to experience or feel anything properly these past eight days. This song and message of hope does feel like it’s been sent my dad though. Maybe I’m reading into it too much - “
Goodbye, goodbye it's time to go/Time is a figment on a fig tree road . . . And here you are/As nowhere as a northern star/You're a light, a light on in the dark.” I saw Darlingside with my parents on April 19th, 2020. I turned 24 on October 3rd, 2020. My dad died early in the morning on October 4th, 2020. We were supposed to have a family video call the evening of October 3rd. I pushed it back to the evening of October 4th. I’m sorry. I’m happy we talked on the phone on my birthday. I love you.
