Review Summary: A shower thought.
When they recently announced that life was found on Venus, how, when and who came to this conclusion? We almost burn to a crisp the last robot we sent to Mars, so the chances of a space ship reaching even further and closer to the sun aren't less than minimal? How did we do find it then? A larger telescope? Fortune-telling? Or did they just lock four dudes from Finland with an absurd amount of psychotropics in a recording studio until they reached such enlightenment?
Yes! That seems the most accurate theory in my opinion. After all, I wouldn't send anyone from, I don't know, Tame Impala! Those guys wouldn't fly higher than a three-store building, at least not anymore. Too busy sniffing panties at Coachella. But the Finnish? Oh, hell yeah, just check for yourself, this, their latest record, Polysomn
I've been there, I know what it takes to find life on Venus, and Kairon; IRSE!, the band from Kaustinen that baptized themselves as the first result that came on screen after throwing the keyboard against the wall, knows it too. Not exactly their debut, but the album that put them in the spotlight in shoegaze circles, Ujubasajuba
came out 6 years ago now, positioning them as that one band you would want to keep on your radar. Ruination
followed 3 years later, more psychedelia, less shoegaze, but still proving they were brilliant, and quite unique in their craft.
Come the end of summer of this dreadful 2020, we find life on Venus and Kairon; IRSE! releases a new album. Coincidence? I don't think so. Let's analyze the FACTS.
starts strong, with flanger’d guitars over a sexy beat, trying to induce you into a dream-like sequence taken from the Great Lebowski, but don't be fooled, because after a couple of minutes, the band ups the tempo, noisy drums kick in and we are en route
to the stars with a fantastic blend of heavy psychedelia called "Psyonic Static". Seriously, I love the damn chorus of this thing: a sweet vocal line summoning a storm of guitars, backed by a robust bass line and swinging drums. There's the Kairon; IRSE! of legends foretold! But let's keep going.
"Retrograde" lowers the intensity and that’s O.K. There are so many effects going on that the whole thing feels like liquid LSD flooding your brain. Melodies are less ambitious, dirtier, grittier, sharper, closer to the band's early sound. One of the singles, "Welcome Blue Valkyrie" follows suit, but we are not out of the stratosphere just yet, still, we’re coming close.
Three tracks in and the albums starts to feel lighter, like it's slowly dissolving with every note and beat. We may have lost the fuel tank. With the exception of the two last tracks (out of nine), every track spans an average of six minutes, which is quite the generous time, especially when the band goes on autopilot, relying on ridiculous amounts of fuzz and phaser effects to sustain Dmitry Melet's hazy vocals.
You may have heard "An Bat None", their song about that time that Batman went to space... Ok, I made that up, but listen to me, this is another highlight, not quite the banger as that opening gem, but it has some moments, like that maddening synth penetrating your right ear (please tell me you are listening to this with headphones).
"Mir Inoi", this is where things get a bit dense. Actually, skip this track. "Altaïr Descends", which has nothing to do with Assassin's Creed in space, is a constant build up, a long, arduous phase of our trip to Venus in search of the truth. It’s like a long, sweaty fuck after you and your partner have cum several times and you both know that there is no end in sight. You both want it to be over, but no one will stop and admit it. And that’s how it goes out, as the song never reaches its climax, it just dies out ashamed, covered in static, masking that fact that it never truly reached the promised land.
At this point, the album is way up there, in space I mean, floating adrift, some parts are broken, fuel has been leaking from three songs ago (if we didn’t lose the whole tank), and it just doesn't look too good. "White Flies" is that one emergency red button that fires up some unseen cylinders in a final attempt to make the final push pass Mars and, honestly, it sounds good, it’s a good plan, it may work! Lively drum beat, elaborated harmonies, but it's too late, captains, it’s time to accept the facts: we won't reach Venus, we won't reach the fourth orgasm and we will definitely not surpass the likes of the legendary crew that brought you Ujubasajuba
So tell me, how the hell did we find life on Venus then?