BTS
Map of the Soul: 7


2.0
poor

Review

by resident shit music stan USER (56 Reviews)
August 3rd, 2020 | 32 replies


Release Date: 02/21/2020 | Tracklist

Review Summary: 21: Map of the Bloat

Whether you like it or not, BTS are everywhere. They've arguably reached popularity heights that haven't been reached since One Direction took the tweeny-bopper world by storm nearly a decade ago, and with the amount of money their label dumps into putting them everywhere combined with the help of the quite frankly rabid stans that will not be discussed further, it's safe to say that they're gonna be here for a long time. Now for the real question: is Map of the Soul: 7 a left onto Victory Lane, or a right onto the boulevard of broken dreams?

The safe answer would be neither—Map of the Soul: 7, at it's core, is an extremely generic k-pop record. Everything is layered on top of polished synths and programmed drum machines, while the singers both sing and rap what typical Korean boy band lyrics over them. Both the singing and rapping are competent enough, and to their credit there are admittedly some pretty catchy numbers on here such as "Dionysus" and "Black Swan". Unfortunately, you're gonna need some good patience to get to the best parts, as the album opens with a middling two-minute intro track that segues into "Boy With Luv", which ends up primarily serving as additional proof that guest singer Halsey ruins everything she touches. The vast majority of the remainder of the album comprises of standard dime-a-dozen k-pop tracks.

The fact that Map of the Soul: 7 is largely generic is why it ultimately falls into the trap of failure—at a whopping 21 songs, there is a hell of a lot of filler to be found, mostly in the second half—the interlude is overly long and goes absolutely nowhere, "UGH!" is a failed experiment in both SoundCloud rap and Post Malone worship, while a middling remix of "ON" featuring Sia (something that should've either been released stand-alone or in a deluxe edition) closes out the album (despite the outro coming literally right before it) for the sole purpose of squeezing in as much music as they could get away with.

Considering that this is a pop album, production is obviously a heavy focus and Map of the Soul: 7 is extremely clean and smooth, albiet heavily compressed. Fortunately, however, the mixing was done fairly well—all instruments get a chance to breathe and basslines are completely audible, which is always extremely welcome. But at the end of the day, Map of the Soul: 7 is nothing to write home about. It's your standard k-pop album with the glaring problem of bloat; you can get a decent k-pop album with not-so-glaring issues in many other places.



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user ratings (37)
2.5
average
other reviews of this album
Jeffery J. Bigglestein (1)
I had to pretend to like BTS to get laid once. Was it worth it? Probably not....



Comments:Add a Comment 
Valzentia
August 3rd 2020


1110 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Album stream: https://open.spotify.com/album/6mJZTV8lCqnwftYZa94bXS

Here's a review, not a propaganda piece. Constructive criticism appreciated.

Digging: The Bunny The Bear - Afterglow

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Someone was clearly inspired by me...that being said another negative BTS Review is exactly what we need to defeat the BTS bots.



Pos'd.

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

my god scrolled through your reviews and between your XXXtentacion hate, billie elish hate, 6ix9ine hate, chainsmokers hate, and BTS, well hate is a strong word but general dislike, I think that may be enough to grant you a spot on the biggle boys. What do you say?

veninblazer
August 3rd 2020


11755 Comments


lol^

kalkwiese
August 3rd 2020


6198 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

We're stronger than them. They won't defeat us

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

welcome to the biggle boys kalkwiese

HalfManHalfAmazing
August 3rd 2020


2534 Comments


where does one sign up for a spot on the biggle boys? (asking for a friend)

Digging: Chameleon - Links

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

you (and your friend) have come to the right place.



i think this review is going to be the biggle boys recruitment center while the other, better BTS review that I did is going to be the general discussion for all anti-BTS propaganda that way we keep everything organized.

LeddSledd
August 3rd 2020


1447 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

this is a beautiful day indeed

Digging: Sleepytime Gorilla Museum - Of Natural History

costofnothing
August 3rd 2020


151 Comments


"Although the biggle boys were outnumbered considerably, they possessed a great deal of cohesion and persistence, and were able to persist in spite of multiple attacks on their power base (see: The Late July Neg Bombings). This enabled them to gain a considerable amount of public support, in being seen as bold rebels against the Old Sputnik Aristocracy that jealously guarded their privileges. This would become crucial in the later phases."

-The Great Sputwar, Chapter Three

Lord(e)Po)))ts
August 3rd 2020


60713 Comments


how old are these fellas

Digging: Oklou - Galore

costofnothing
August 3rd 2020


151 Comments


"The situation on the BTS front began to alter drastically in favor of the biggle boys, as the August 3rd comment incursions proved to be a strategic failure for the BTSarmy and drummed up more support for the biggle camp, most importantly coming from that of the 'industry plant' faction."

-The Great Sputwar, Chapter 3

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

i would like to see a Great Sputwar book now someone make it happen.

costofnothing
August 3rd 2020


151 Comments


Since I have nothing better to do, I might just make some lists documenting it, starting with JefferyBigglestein and the formation of the biggle boys as a public movement

JefferyBigglestein
August 3rd 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

costofnothing i will let you join the Biggle Boys if you can make this happen (of course, after the publishment of said list(s) in order to make it unbiased).

Joeman82
August 4th 2020


1433 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Oh my god he hijacked the other review for this lmfao.

You convinced me to 1 this jeff

JefferyBigglestein
August 4th 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

thank you joe biggle boys are growing stronger by the day.

Lucman
August 4th 2020


4867 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Well I attempted to listen to this. I especially liked the short bursts of silence between songs. That was a nice touch.

Digging: The Cure - Disintegration

costofnothing
August 4th 2020


151 Comments


@JefferyBigglestein

The first chapter of the great sputnik war has been published

JefferyBigglestein
August 4th 2020


2933 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

yes good very good



@lucman very powerful words we could use a person like you in the biggle boys.



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