Today Is the Day
No Good To Anyone


1.5
very poor

Review

by MiloRuggles CONTRIBUTOR (19 Reviews)
May 6th, 2020 | 29 replies


Release Date: 02/01/2020 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A self-fulfilling prophecy

In spite of my willingness to drop my drawers and be ravaged by even the most cookie-cutter artists on occasion, there still exists music capable of locking my knees together and pushing the word 'no' to the forefront of my lexicon. Today Is The Day's latest release No Good To Anyone inspired me to put the key to my chastity belt in a lock box, and swallow the lockbox's key for good measure.

Let it be known that I don't mind an obnoxious lyric performed with gusto – I grew up listening to numetal and Nine Inch Nails, so that particular patch of skin is thick and calloused. Let it be known that I have a soft-spot for mind-numbing repetition – I mindlessly fuck my fist for hours at a time while listening to Godflesh and Swans, keeping a lazy, listless tempo. Let it be known that I will give shit music a pass if its production or even general timbre tickle me enough – Ben Frost could record a dingo eating a baby and chuck some crunchy Moog sounds in behind it and I'd probably end up trying to convince someone in some obscure forum that it has artistic merit. I mean, Christ, I watched The Nightingale last night and couldn't convince myself to hate it for its meandering story, abundance of rape, and lack of depth just because I liked the way it looked and sounded at large. As a Kiwi, these instances of giving Australians a pass speak volumes of my lack of self-control.

No Good To Anyone has so many qualities that I would regularly enjoy in an album that my hatred for it is a bonafide miracle. Downtuned guitars throw down fuzzy riffage in stereo, grooves are ridden for the length of tracks in such a mantra-like fashion that they should become meditative, there's enough nihilism throughout this thing to murder Steve Buscemi in a parking lot, vocals are layered all over the show, and the album as a whole is not, like, confined by any one genre, man. Take me now, Daddy.

Unfortunately, each of these qualities lands like a passenger jet flying through diplomatically-challenged European airspace. The lyrics are so woeful that the abundance of techniques and approaches the vocals attempt all fall flat. The repetitive song structures are not given the time or space necessary to construct anything close to a meditative or stifling atmosphere; 50% of the tracks are less than three minutes long. The guitars sound quite lovely all the way through the album, but it's a three-note performance with diminishing returns, making mid-album slow ballad "Callie"- by no means a great song- a very welcome relief from the quickfire monotony on display.

Whether it's the flat and lifeless bass tone in "No Good To Anyone", the listless vocals in "Attacked By An Angel" backed up by two-dollar Tool riffs which, as a whole, begs for far longer than two minutes to develop effectively, “Let me tell you a story / About a thing or two / A real good story/ About me and you” as the opening lyrics to "Son Of Man", or "Burn In Hell"'s last ditch tempo shift that fails to add anything of value to another way-too-short song, there's always something right around the corner that will send your palm rocketing toward your face. For example:

I wanna hurt you
I'm gonna smash you
You drive me fucking nuts
I wanna shut you up
What's your problem, man?
You're fucking out of line
You drive me fucking nuts
None of the sheep will survive
Only the strong stay alive


What does this build into? Some mindless Sabbathian riffery, of course. Am I missing something here? Is Today Is The Day's tongue so firmly pressed against its cheek that it's burst right on through, spraying giblets of irony all over these recordings that my dulled receptors just can't detect? I don't fucking know, man, but there's still three tracks to go.

The ambience that closes the final track's third section (because ideas are on a two minute time limit regardless of track length) is a little nugget of serenity that provides a welcome relief after slogging through the 49 minutes this album lasts for, and as it fades into blissful silence my mind again turns to sinful thoughts. Then a clamorous death rattle in the form of some tinny guitar(s) reciting some melody from an old folk tune emanates from the speakers, and the layered din peels the paint off the walls before you can reach the mute button. After being subjected to this final act of mockery, chastity is no longer a choice; my genitals have retracted and sealed over, and I don't think I'll ever love again.




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user ratings (31)
3
good

Comments:Add a Comment 
MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 6th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Apologies for the slander. The band's bio had me all hopped up to enjoy this. I'll make amends and visit their old stuff in due time.

combustion07
May 6th 2020


6939 Comments


Try Willpower. Haven't jammed this yet but the band has done no wrong to me so far

Digging: Cyttorak - Simultaneous Invocation Of Apocalyptic Harbingers

mynameischan
Staff Reviewer
May 7th 2020


1653 Comments


When it comes to music, I'm a molly-fied slut on the prowl. Use an instrument with some semblance of talent in front of me and I'll assume the position so that you can stick that instrument anywhere you like. I've been used and abused by many suitors that I know are bad for me even in the short term, buttfuck it; the upshot of not having an exclusive 'type' is that you can eat any fucking flavour of ice-cream you want.


why do u do this

MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I'll concede that I need to chill out on the sex metaphors. Consider this the last review of this flavour for a while.

Veldin
May 7th 2020


3938 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I too prefer being a music-slut rather than monogamous. Who can commit to just one genre, when you're listening to folk but out of the corner of your eye you see a big, black metal album thrusting out those tremolos?

Dewinged
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


20270 Comments


I am a total music whore.

Bummed to see that rating, was mildly excited about this.

Love your writing though Milo but you know that already ;)

Digging: The Gathering - if_then_else

MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Other people seem to be into it Dewi, and I do enjoy the production. Prolly worth a jam. tybb

Dewinged
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


20270 Comments


Yeah I haven't heard these guys since 99's In The Eyes of God. That's what I said mildly excited cause chances he's doing anything similar are quite slim.

But sure, I'll give it an ear. (or my butt, depending on the mood)

Dedes
May 7th 2020


7156 Comments


Is music even good at all

Ninjahague
May 7th 2020


1705 Comments


god tier introduction

bloodshy
May 7th 2020


1134 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I quite like the vocals, but that fuzzy up-tuned bass or down-tuned guitar makes me feel like I have water in my ears. It sounds like a demo debut album released by an average quality band from the 90's.



Great review. I hope no one gets after you too much about the censor avoiding. Or is that acceptable?

MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

"sounds like a demo debut album released by an average quality band from the 90's"



nail, head etc



Thanks. I have no idea haha

bloodshy
May 7th 2020


1134 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Lmao. Upon further listen, I think your 1.5 is more accurate than my original 2.

MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I was originally at about a 2.5, then repeat listens really got to me

Tyler.
May 7th 2020


17992 Comments


When it comes to music, I'm a molly-fied slut on the prowl. Use an instrument with some semblance of talent in front of me and I'll assume the position so that you can stick that instrument anywhere you like. I've been used and abused by many suitors that I know are bad for me even in the short term, buttfuck it; the upshot of not having an exclusive 'type' is that you can eat any fucking flavour of ice-cream you want.

Darius The Imposter
May 7th 2020


22351 Comments


buttfuck it;

MotokoKusanagi
May 7th 2020


3105 Comments


this isn't that bad and man that intro was tough

MiloRuggles
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2020


684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Oh lawd. It was the last thing I wrote, and the first thing I regretted. Will keep it there in all its glory for posterity's sake.

dedex
May 7th 2020


3593 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5 | Sound Off

wooo man it is passionate



I enjoy reading your reviews a lot

Digging: Paysage d'Hiver - Im Wald

Aberf
May 7th 2020


3209 Comments


Love this review man, it was amusing to read. Oh God, that lyrics gave me a Nam flashback to Hotel Mira.

Now I'm gonna do the mandated social distancing against this album.



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