Chopping Mall
Mauled by a Magical Bear with Scalding Hot Liquid


5.0
classic

Review

by Cut Off Our Eggrolls? USER (83 Reviews)
April 28th, 2020 | 18 replies


Release Date: 04/17/2020 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Your brain is now a pile of mush. You wander to a bear cave. And then the bear eats you. And now we have a zombie bear

They say you can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time. Judging by the achievement that is Mauled By A Magical Bear With Scalding Hot Liquid Cheese Spraying From Its Eyesockets someone forgot to tell this to Mr. Koth Dolgomoru, aka Chopping Mall. It’d be too easy, and too lazy to look at the cover, the song titles, and the lyrics, and dismiss this as another goregrind shock project but MBAMBWSHLCSFIE purposely seeks this specific knee-jerk reaction to divert the shallow-minded. After all, the madness that lay within MBAMBWSHLCSFIE wouldn’t sit well with those who are content listening to another song about strawberries. What Chopping Mall has accomplished here is a piece of art that transcends pretense or ego, seemingly written by someone who resides in a plane beyond such fickle aspects of human psyche. This means the album’s oeuvre and meaning is truly characterized by each listener. One’s personality, one’s mood, one’s hopes and dreams, all play a part in how MBAMBWSHLCSFIE is digested by each individual. And it’s this aspect that allows the album to converse so causally with that little voice inside your head. As your mood changes, and as your goals change throughout life, MBAMBWSHLCSFIE never loses touch, and it always knows just what to say. It actually wouldn’t be a stretch to equate MBAMBWSHLCSFIE as a sort of Rosetta Stone for the human soul. Its indecipherable exterior what with a bear melting a camper with scalding cheese shooting from its eyes serving as merely a flimsy metaphor for those too afraid to let their own egos get melted away. But for those willing to take the dive, welcome to nirvana, the water is perfect.



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user ratings (5)
2.9
good


Comments:Add a Comment 
Calc
April 28th 2020


16757 Comments


I spent as much time writing this as the artist did writing his lyrics. This is actually seriously no shit not that bad.


https://choppingmall.bandcamp.com/album/mauled-by-a-magical-bear-with-scalding-hot-liquid-cheese-spraying-from-its-eyesockets

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
April 28th 2020


15142 Comments


The fuck is up with that title?

Calc
April 28th 2020


16757 Comments


the title wouldn't all fit. I need Mr. Dolgomaru to read this and be so touched that he gives me a free CD. that's kind of what I'm hoping here.

joshuahuntkc
April 29th 2020


1887 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

that last track

MotokoKusanagi
April 29th 2020


3976 Comments


yo this actually rules

MarsKid
Contributing Reviewer
April 29th 2020


12881 Comments


Well, this is an album

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
April 29th 2020


25690 Comments


Now that's two album revs in a row with crazy ass title/cover lol

Digging: Earth and Fire - Song of the Marching Children

Ashtiel
April 29th 2020


1260 Comments


real question is where the fuck do I find these "six hard-to-find albums containing a total 223 songs"

SitarHero
April 29th 2020


13582 Comments


Nice soundoff lol. Bump.

Iamthe Nightstars
April 29th 2020


2901 Comments


Not quite as fun as the movie.

AngusWeeks
April 29th 2020


1 Comments


If you have the talent and you want to show your talent to the world to become famous then you have the right platform. You will get the real review according to your talent go and registered at writemypaper4me so that you will join it.

botb
April 29th 2020


14768 Comments


I love that movie

grannypantys
April 29th 2020


2425 Comments


I listen to really heavy music like the foo fighters

IAmScott
April 29th 2020


438 Comments


"To this day, Chopping Mall has released six hard-to-find albums containing a total of 223 songs. The band started out as a 12-piece but now is just down to one stupid asshole."

IvanDemetrius
June 25th 2020


1 Comments


We amazed using the evaluation a person designed to get this to specific submit amazing. Fantastic exercise!
Dofollow Niche relevant blog comment


Sinternet
June 25th 2020


24384 Comments


Niche relevant blog comment

Digging: Little Simz - Sometimes I Might Be Introvert

beanter8
September 22nd 2020


1 Comments


You can lie but I know that you're not fine (oh yeah) Every time you talk You talk 'bout me but you swear I'm not on your mind You can pretend you don't miss me (me) You can pretend you don't care. tetris
skribbl io

ChrimzonCanine
April 29th 2021


915 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Album name and cover is legendary

Digging: Savatage - Hall of the Mountain King



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