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Red Hot Chili Peppers
Californication


1.5
very poor

Review

by ValenDreth USER (63 Reviews)
December 18th, 2019 | 74 replies


Release Date: 1999 | Tracklist


This is the album where the lords of faux-funk charlatan poo poo reach the apex of whatever the hell dumb joke they've been playing on us for thirty-five years now. Embracing the bland with full force and dogged persistence, this is where it becomes readily apparent - cemented as pure fact, if you will - that the "C" in RHCP indeed stands for "crap." This album isn't even funny. I remember when this steamer fell out of these lads' buttholes clear as day. It was a sadder day than 9/11. I went into the record store I worked at and heard this blaring from the speakers, stinking up the place. It sounded like the purveyors of poserdom were now ditching the funk in favor of the doctor's office. Indeed, this was RHCP for Tj Maxx. RHCP for Chili's. This might as well be a Dave Matthews Band album. What ***e!

I went into this recording with an open mind, lads, and what I instead came out with was an open butthole from the furious raping Kiedis and his ***e crew of court jesters had aurally subjected me to. Don't believe the hype - each of these tracks is the sonic equivalent of the rankest of farts. Mayonnaise could make a better album, and perhaps they have.



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user ratings (4106)
4
excellent
other reviews of this album
1 of


Comments:Add a Comment 
ValenDreth
December 18th 2019


79 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Haters be damned!

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


13127 Comments


shut up dork

Slex
December 18th 2019


16527 Comments


This is one of the worst reviews I've ever seen
I hope you feel bad about yourself as a person and a writer

Ryus
December 18th 2019


36644 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

savage review!

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


13127 Comments


like a boss!

ValenDreth
December 18th 2019


79 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Show yourselves.

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


13127 Comments


don't look at me I posd

Slex
December 18th 2019


16527 Comments


My only regret is that I could only neg once

Kompys2000
Emeritus
December 18th 2019


9428 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Okay now this is epic

ArsMoriendi
December 18th 2019


40965 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

This reviewer doesn't even listen to funk (according to his ratings,) so who is he to gatekeep what's real funk?



Hate this album, give it a negative review, that's totally fine, but don't pretend you hate it because it's "fake funk" when you don't even listen to funk

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


13127 Comments


he doesnt give a funk

oltnabrick
December 18th 2019


40634 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

agreed thanks

Cimnele
December 18th 2019


2527 Comments


***e

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
December 18th 2019


60303 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

"I went into this recording with an open mind, lads"

Almost pos'd for the this claim's raw insincere audacity. Almost.

Source
December 18th 2019


19917 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

didn't even mention the awesome production wow

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
December 18th 2019


32020 Comments


Merry Christmas, everyone!

CookieFactory79
December 18th 2019


145 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

both this album and this review are unacceptably bad um

please fix this

BAT
December 18th 2019


1786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

My fav part is where anthony goes ming ming mong mong ming ming mang, i am glad frusciantes back tho

Space Jester
December 18th 2019


10997 Comments


Saw them live and it was trash, they didn’t even play Bulls On Parade and that’s my favorite song from Guotar Hero

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


13127 Comments


wrong band



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