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Red Hot Chili Peppers
Californication


1.5
very poor

Review

by ValenDreth USER (23 Reviews)
December 18th, 2019 | 72 replies


Release Date: 1999 | Tracklist


This is the album where the lords of faux-funk charlatan poo poo reach the apex of whatever the hell dumb joke they've been playing on us for thirty-five years now. Embracing the bland with full force and dogged persistence, this is where it becomes readily apparent - cemented as pure fact, if you will - that the "C" in RHCP indeed stands for "crap." This album isn't even funny. I remember when this steamer fell out of these lads' buttholes clear as day. It was a sadder day than 9/11. I went into the record store I worked at and heard this blaring from the speakers, stinking up the place. It sounded like the purveyors of poserdom were now ditching the funk in favor of the doctor's office. Indeed, this was RHCP for Tj Maxx. RHCP for Chili's. This might as well be a Dave Matthews Band album. What ***e!

I went into this recording with an open mind, lads, and what I instead came out with was an open butthole from the furious raping Kiedis and his ***e crew of court jesters had aurally subjected me to. Don't believe the hype - each of these tracks is the sonic equivalent of the rankest of farts. Mayonnaise could make a better album, and perhaps they have.



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user ratings (3925)
4
excellent
other reviews of this album
1 of


Comments:Add a Comment 
ValenDreth
December 18th 2019


70 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Haters be damned!

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


10053 Comments


shut up dork

Slex
December 18th 2019


10406 Comments


This is one of the worst reviews I've ever seen
I hope you feel bad about yourself as a person and a writer

Digging: Gulfer - Gulfer

Ryus
December 18th 2019


20814 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

savage review!

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


10053 Comments


like a boss!

ValenDreth
December 18th 2019


70 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Show yourselves.

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


10053 Comments


don't look at me I posd

Slex
December 18th 2019


10406 Comments


My only regret is that I could only neg once

Kompys2000
December 18th 2019


4726 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Okay now this is epic

Digging: Yellow Swans - At All Ends

ArsMoriendi
December 18th 2019


31525 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

This reviewer doesn't even listen to funk (according to his ratings,) so who is he to gatekeep what's real funk?



Hate this album, give it a negative review, that's totally fine, but don't pretend you hate it because it's "fake funk" when you don't even listen to funk

Digging: Cocteau Twins - Head Over Heels

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


10053 Comments


he doesnt give a funk

oltnabrick
December 18th 2019


39969 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

agreed thanks

Digging: Box and the Twins - Everywhere I go is Silence

Cimnele
December 18th 2019


1498 Comments


***e

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
December 18th 2019


29357 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

"I went into this recording with an open mind, lads"

Almost pos'd for the this claim's raw insincere audacity. Almost.

Digging: Tricot - 10

Source
December 18th 2019


18491 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

didn't even mention the awesome production wow

Dewinged
Contributing Reviewer
December 18th 2019


21960 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Digging: Crippled Black Phoenix - Ellengaest

CookieFactory79
December 18th 2019


138 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

both this album and this review are unacceptably bad um

please fix this

BAT
December 18th 2019


981 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

My fav part is where anthony goes ming ming mong mong ming ming mang, i am glad frusciantes back tho

Space Jester
December 18th 2019


9036 Comments


Saw them live and it was trash, they didn’t even play Bulls On Parade and that’s my favorite song from Guotar Hero

sixdegrees
December 18th 2019


10053 Comments


wrong band



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