Hampton The Hampster
Hampsterdance the Album


5.0
classic

Review

by industry plant USER (43 Reviews)
June 29th, 2019 | 24 replies


Release Date: 2000 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A black metal masterpiece that transcends words

The heaviest black metal band this side of Burzum, Hampton the Hampster is by far the most brutal band on the scene today. But don't be fooled, there's more substance in Hampsterdance The Album than insane brutal heaviness that makes Dethklok blush: the guitar makes trying to carry a weight look like a piece of cake, but the bass is a masterpiece of technical achievement, and the drumlines are so progressive it makes even the proggiest of prog-rockers jealous.

While opening track "The Hampsterdance Song" is an in-your-face black metal classic, its not until "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" kicks in that Hampton H. McHampster and crew really kick into gear, mixing their normal black metal goodness with a touch of sludgy-doom and a nice helping of Johnny Cash-esque country. "A Hampster's Life" provides a strange crossing with black metal musicianship with lyrics about life on the road, but the band mix the two together so well that the minimal flaws become progressively harder to notice. "Dreaming" gives us a strange helping of dream pop crossed with black metal, and "Even Hampsters Get The Blues" provides us with the only clean singing on the album as an emo-pop masterpiece that really hits home the fact that since we have these jacks-of-all-stats that can live forever by virtue of being cartoon characters, My Chemical Romance died for literally f**king nothing.

The production is so good that not even the most well-produced pop (or even rock/metal) acts could dream of the masterpiece mixing and mastering that blesses Hampsterdance The Album; if you think Flemming Rasmussen, Fredrik Nordström or Terry Date can even come close to this, think again; it mixes the best aspects of Rasmussen, Nordström and Date's productions and amps them up to 11,000 in a way that not even producers famous for overexaggerating elements could even dream of. Every instrument sounds beautiful, every instrument sounds clear, you can actually hear the bass for once, adding even better flavor to "Even Hampsters Get The Blues" in particular as there is a well-known and very disturbing lack of bass on emo-pop albums. In closing, Hampsterdance The Album is truly a masterpiece for the ages and it should be required to hear what should be christened by every government in existance as required listening, as no one will ever top Hampton and company's masterpiece. Listen and be blessed.



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user ratings (8)
4.1
excellent

Comments:Add a Comment 
WeepinnWillow
June 29th 2019


892 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Delayed flights cause insane levels of boredom: a review



album stream: https://open.spotify.com/album/7gA2nNlYpzeT9yINPK0MEo

veninblazer
June 29th 2019


10267 Comments


i cant stop laughing lmfao pos

bloc
June 29th 2019


59545 Comments


Holy hell the hamster dance brings back soooo many memories

Digging: Sewerslvt - Draining Love Story

WeepinnWillow
June 29th 2019


892 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

pressing F to pay respects

DeadBitchAlexis
June 30th 2019


2892 Comments


if you never fucked with hampsterdance at least one time in your life you dont deserve to live

Supercoolguy64
June 30th 2019


9250 Comments


Hamsterdance is my will to live

JohnnyoftheWell
Contributing Reviewer
June 30th 2019


21439 Comments


"Delayed flights cause insane levels of boredom: a review"

Most relatable words I ever did read. This review sparks joy.

Digging: Jida - Lucid

Hellscythe
June 30th 2019


4432 Comments


I had this as a kid. it was pretty progressive for its time. there's a cover of Thank God I'm a Country Boy sung by a girl hamster.

this is a really dumb and unfunny review though.

Digging: MC5 - Kick Out the Jams

samwise2000
June 30th 2019


784 Comments


@Willow this review means nothing until you actually 5 this ;D

Digging: BUCK-TICK - Mona Lisa Overdrive

theamazingjamez
June 30th 2019


40 Comments


ThIS IS THA BES REVIEW FOR HTE Best ALBUM EVER MADE INA LL THE TIMES ALL TIME EVER EVER EVER

Kompys2000
June 30th 2019


3565 Comments


I hate how they spell hamster with a p

Digging: Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces Everyone

Space Jester
June 30th 2019


8181 Comments


More like Hampton the Hempster

foxblood
June 30th 2019


10380 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

omg

WeepinnWillow
June 30th 2019


892 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

"this review means nothing until you actually 5 this"

challenge accepted :D

"this is a really dumb and unfunny review though"

sorry that I didn't make you laugh, as consolation here's the time you spent reading this review back

"This review sparks joy."

indeed it does : )

"if you never fucked with hampsterdance at least one time in your life you dont deserve to live"

agreed tbh

WeepinnWillow
June 30th 2019


892 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

"More like Hampton the Hempster"

somewhere some idiot has probably photoshopped a picture of Hampton smoking weed

Azog
June 30th 2019


284 Comments


My daughter owns one. Pure fucking evil. (The hamster. Not my daughter.)

Skoj
June 30th 2019


1843 Comments


why

WeepinnWillow
June 30th 2019


892 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

because flight delays cause boredom, and the problem of boredom needs to be remedied

Meridiu5
July 1st 2019


2906 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Wwwoowww

Digging: Merzbow - Cloud Cock OO Grand

Scheumke
July 1st 2019


1524 Comments


will check

Digging: Envy - The Fallen Crimson



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