Teamheadkick
Sofa King Gamer


0.5

Review

by Willow Westervelt USER (14 Reviews)
February 28th, 2019 | 18 replies


Release Date: 02/20/2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The bottom of the hip hop pyramid

Lets face it—nerd rap/nerdcore/whatever you call it has never been amazing (unless one counts Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" as part of the genre). Despite the genre's general mediocrity (aside from a select few), it was never consistently terrible. It was just stupid or generic. Unfortunately, however, there came the one act that took a genre that could simply be dismissed as "okay" and proceeded to made a gigantic joke out of it, which was then followed by millions of imitators that transformed the genre itself into a joke. That act, and the subject of this review, is Teamheadkick, and to be honest with you i'm not even sure if they're 100% part of the genre (more on that later). Perhaps you know them if you've seen Deadpool, as somehow 20th Century Fox decided that these guys' "Deadpool Rap" was perfect for the movie, but today i'm going to be focusing strictly on the 16-track Sofa King Gamer (which actually includes the original version of "Deadpool Rap").

The music on Sofa King Gamer itself is amongst some of the worst production jobs I have ever heard; the synths are basic and clashing with one another, and the bass is actually overpowering everything else (except the vocals). As for flow, nobody ever taught these guys what flow is—there is, simply put, no flow at all here. As for the lyrics, they didn't even try—they just got a bunch of 12 year olds together, had them play Xbox for 3 hours, proceeded to have them write whatever they wanted on the iPhone notes app and then brought in Generic Mainstream Rapper #375,271,868 to spruce up the sexual hijinks that are the stereotype of the term "gamer" nowadays. Highlights of this musical genius include:

iGame
Cosplay girls are nerdy
I like 'em kinda dirty
Especially if they're curvy

-iGame

The day's done, now its time to game
I'm gonna get so drunk I forget my name
Load up the Xbox, cause its time to play
When it comes to Call of Duty I dominate

-My Girl Hates Me (I Play CoD)

There's also glaring failures in research; the most blatant example being in "Saints 4 Life"; as much as a die-hard fan of Saints Row would probably like to disagree, the fourth installment of the game (the one touched upon in this album) is as far from gangster as one can get, but Teamheadkick seem to be stuck in the past of Saints Row 2—they do their damndest to convince both the listener (and maybe even themselves) that Saints Row IV is a gangster game despite the fact that they proudly proclaim to be "music by gamers for gamers".

It appears that they may have some degree of self-awareness, that they perhaps know they cannot rap to save their lives, or maybe believe that they've been 100% "nerd rap" for too long and need to attempt to expand their boundaries ASAP, so they've tried their hand at hard rock on this album as well—resulting in embarrassing moments such as the aforementioned "My Girl Hates Me", which consist of nothing but basic loops that anyone in Magix Music Maker could do, and ironically all but mute the bass (which is the loudest of all on the hip hop tracks). A godawful rap metal remix of the "Gta vs Saints Row Rap" that shows up earlier in the album serves as the album closer, proving how Teamheadkick can't decide whether or not it wants to be a nerd rap group or discount Dragonforce with a side of Hinder and Linkin Park, and leaving the poor listener with any semblance of a brain on their knees, begging for mercy, wishing that they had listened to quite literally anything else instead.

Sofa King Gamer embodies everything wrong with gaming culture, even today—propagating the negative gamer stereotypes that have been around for virtually the entire decade (gamers treating women as objects, being a bunch of fat, horny teenage losers, living in mommy's basement with no job) and churning out some of the worst compositions ever recorded. Maybe I would be a tiny bit nicer if this successfully appealed to the annoying 12 year olds who scream racial slurs at people over Xbox Live, but i'm sure mommy wouldn't appreciate them playing music that has the evil F word in it. All in all, this album is a failure in every way, and it's another turd in a sea of godawfulness that proves that nerdcore has become the new crunkcore; stupid, stereotypical, misogynistic, poorly-made, poorly thought out, and straight up irredeemable.



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user ratings (1)
0.5


Comments:Add a Comment 
WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Album stream (if you're feeling brave): https://open.spotify.com/album/5IuVZujiGGvOvLgMnes1Xs



Constructive criticism always appreciated...now if you excuse me, I need to go ease the pain I got from listening to this

Digging: I Set My Friends On Fire - You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

DivergentThinking
February 28th 2019


6226 Comments


The only nerd rap for me is Captain Dan and his Scurvy Crew < 3

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Captain Dan and His Scurvy Crew are probably Nirvana compared to this shit

DivergentThinking
February 28th 2019


6226 Comments


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FusNJgXNeW0

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Oh so they're basically Alestorm as rappers

DivergentThinking
February 28th 2019


6226 Comments


Yup!

DivergentThinking
February 28th 2019


6226 Comments


Or Swashbuckle. Either way, lol

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

I actually think that song is pretty funny lmao

AgentDeathbat
February 28th 2019


9596 Comments


good review, I'm sure this album is absolute garbo tho

Digging: Attalus - Into the Sea

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

This album makes Lulu look good.

AgentDeathbat
February 28th 2019


9596 Comments


I actually didn't mind Lulu, it just dragged incessantly towards the end. haha

geezers1989
February 28th 2019


223 Comments


plz don't insult brokencyde by comparing them to this

on the real tho, i can't believe people are still out here trying to make nerdcore happen, like it's 2019, just make chill lofi hiphop to study to

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

or just make good music

geezers1989
February 28th 2019


223 Comments


holy shit i just image searched them, i've never hated 2 people so much in my life before

geezers1989
February 28th 2019


223 Comments


"the inventors of gamecore, founded in 2007"

oh my god of course

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

they didn't even invent nerdcore so they can fuck right outta here with that shit

Allergist
February 28th 2019


534 Comments


Virgin rap

WeepinnWillow
February 28th 2019


233 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

"Virgin rap"



I thought that was Lil Xan?



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