Panopticon
The Scars of Man on the Once Nameless Wilderness


2.0
poor

Review

by ValenDreth USER (13 Reviews)
January 28th, 2019 | 15 replies


Release Date: 2018 | Tracklist


The fact that artists like Wolves in the Throne Room, Alcest, and Panopticon are still churning out the same old dull, mellow, pseudo-transcendental, acoustic-driven quasi-black metal snoozers album after album is simply mind-boggling, and to have the sheer audacity to continue milking this cow and beating this dead horse in a world where even Agalloch - the undisputed Beatles of this small pocket of the American black metal landscape - have called it quits adds even more reprehensive icing to a cake that is already constructed with poop.

Trying to win the Guinness world record for "being the most boring for the longest amount of time," Panopticon methinks has succeeded. He split open his butthole and dropped a two hour long stinky one right here. My ears are an unsuspecting urinal, desecrated by this monster, this monster who wishes he was true but he lacks neither the heart nor the conviction inherent and so necessary for communicating truly soulful black metal - it is possible perhaps that "Austin," if that is indeed this chap's real name, was selected by the government to infiltrate and destroy the black metal world from within, for as black metal becomes more and more of an accepted and influential cultural phenomenon, the government has more and more reason to take a big stinky crap right on it, washing away the integrity and truth the same way it has done so with every other thing that was once a respected pillar. Austin probably is actually some CIA agent who plays football, or worse, a poor and unsuspecting MK Ultra victim who regurgitates pretentious nature screeds every time some suited reptilian scumbag presses a button from an underground bunker. He watches on hidden camera as Panopticon continues to drop dookie like some unhinged animal.



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3.9
excellent
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Comments:Add a Comment 
ValenDreth
January 28th 2019


52 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Speak, neggers.

Sinternet
January 28th 2019


18803 Comments


have you thought about not writing retarded reviews

like is it supposed to be funny? it fails in that (and every) regard

Digging: Dua Lipa - Dua Lipa

sonictheplumber
January 28th 2019


10370 Comments


very insightful. pos'd

SlaveLabor
January 28th 2019


480 Comments


A well written, heterogeneous review. Yes I called you hetereo and that's the last time I will.

NOTINTHEFACE
January 28th 2019


1771 Comments


Dumb opinion, dumb review. If this is a troll review, it's not even good in that way. Try harder.

SlaveLabor
January 28th 2019


480 Comments


This is the definitive AFI album. This is also THE definitive album. Nothing I have heard before or since has moved me to the degree that Sing the Sorrow has. Everything on this album is perfect, from the chilling intro to the atmospheric hidden track "This Time Imperfect" (arguably AFI's best song). My favorite album ever.

ValenDreth
January 28th 2019


52 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Not one of you has made a single cogent argument.

TheSpirit
Contributing Reviewer
January 28th 2019


24951 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

well, you didn't first so

Digging: Akasha - Canticles of the Sepulchral Deity

ValenDreth
January 28th 2019


52 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Name one reason why this review doesn't accomplish its task.

Gameofmetal
Staff Reviewer
January 29th 2019


10511 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

you must have a weird shit fetish because so far across three reviews (one a positive review, and the other two essentially just you saying the album is poop in a few marginally different ways) you haven't refrained from directly mentioning shit or poop so yeah I'd see a therapist or something if I were you

ValenDreth
January 30th 2019


52 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I make no apologies for a fanboy being triggered. You're clearly projecting your desires on to me. I have mentioned "poop" when it was necessary to do so.

Zorg
February 4th 2019


244 Comments


This review is inspiring. However, as a fan of run-ons, this review goes too far. That first paragraph is a sentence lol

DrKralle
February 5th 2019


24 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

yeah you either need to get your ears or cognitive abilities checked, mate. stupid review, even considering an attempt at trolling.

Essence
February 22nd 2019


6262 Comments


this user account is a pretty fucking lazy trolling attempt. i remember when sputnik's trolls were cut from a finer cloth

Hawks
February 22nd 2019


68337 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I make no apologies for a fanboy being triggered. You're clearly projecting your desires on to me. I have mentioned "poop" when it was necessary to do so.


What an absolute idiot.

Digging: Venom Prison - Samsara



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