Review Summary: Fire up the MotherFuckin' Grill
The following is the Testimony of His Lordship Zaga
And Thus he Spoke:
"Upon the ingestion of the hot coffee a curious black smoke arises from the core, and its tendrils seize the nerve endings with enthusiasm. This anxiety leads by example. Its teachings will cause one to supersede the veritable xanax-ridden, those who in somnambulism drool and stare wide-eyed at their own eyesight. Pity not their souls for this stems from disrespect of the sin. Their cave dwelling causes them to smell themselves, but the stench comes not from exertion. The smell of exertion pleasantly burns the eyes. The sweat which arises from cattle poop pities the nostrils, but yet the molecules advance anyhow. Despise not the honesty of lies. Instead despise the honest effort which causes the deceit.
Common effort is the precursor of excuses. It can pose as the monetary system of laziness. In a certain sense gold is bull***, and its foul odor penetrates and transmutes other substances without the permission of human sentries. An indicative inversion, perhaps. Thus the frauds of transmutation stink, and the penetration of this stench is apparent. Poop could perhaps pass for the border sticker around the main sticker, presenting the illusion of the shape but bearing not the logos of the logo. It follows from the preceding assertions, the importance of flickering the self between good and evil, food and poop, product and trash, cow and steak. Eating a steak should be done out of profound respect for the cow. Thus, before steak, perhaps a rough example of a blessing is as follows: “Oh stud, fine and prized, cogitate the memories of grazing the complexity of the fine compounds. Remember the sensations of the tightening and relaxing of the tendons, and perchance give the history of these practices unto me in turn. Fondle the memories of the mounting of the sexy female cow with enormous and becoming breasts. Remain fond of your freemartin, and remember that I have not killed your legacy. The orchestrations of your life allowed for your spawn’s inheritance. Keep the sweetness of attitude as I partake in the grok.” Light up the cigarette. Have the cheese on the tray, and enjoy the rotting filth. Pair that with some pinot noir, cabernet sauvignon, or what have you.
Enter the video game. We live in a simulation, so we’re told. But look around. What do you see? Is it real? What’s real? Who is me? Don’t eat poop, for your poop will be poop squared, then poop cubed. If it’s not real, pretend its real, so in this way you can avoid the ***-eating grin that fills to the brim upon the decadence of your own vanity. Suck at the udders until you learn how to become a so-called nerd. Your glasses will become so huge they will slip from your nose. It is possible to enlarge the nose, at the cost of the quality of the nose. So, smell what you can and be happy with it."