Garroted
Of Damnation and Abyssal Terrors


4.5
superb

Review

by pissbore USER (10 Reviews)
May 23rd, 2018 | 25 replies


Release Date: 2018 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Omnidimensional Distinction.

I love Riffs. Riffs love me. If you like riffs, look no further than Garroted's newest masterpiece of progressive G-funk.

13-minute opener "Oleaginous Sewervisions" is high-calibre progressive rock in its purest form. Old Souls such as Al Di Meola, Lemmy, Big L, and Walter Becker would all be equally proud of how potently this intricately-crafted summoning advances along its running time, leaving you grasping at the edge of your seat for its entire duration. The U.S. Marine Corps training program "The Crucible" was actually named after the first half of this mind-crushing timewarp of chaos and destruction. It sounds like an Otherworldly Sludgedemon has awakened and is crawling out from the Abzu to wreak sheer Havoc upon the earth like a member of Mobb Deep in 1996. When I listen to this song, I can only picture the Optional Superbosses from Final Fantasy 7 ("The Weapons") breaking through the Heaving Earth of Gaia and unleashing sheer and utter "Pandemonium" upon the unsuspecting muggles and half-stepping falses who surely do not entry upon the Gates of truth. Praise the Ripping Sky. Om Shanti.

"Crimson Thirst" is, as the title implies, obviously a song about eating demon pussy. Having been around the block once or twice myself, i can solemnly state that this song is rite on the money when it comes to aurally depicting the passionate emotion, darkness, disgust, and downright filthy funk that such an act ent(r)ails. Short and sweet, menacing and juggular-vein-lacerating a la that prom king Autopsy sang about back on ***fun in 1995, it was clear from the gate-go that this was going to be the band's biggest hit single to date.

Speaking of Gates, I don't think a demonic sphincter of any calibre has been opened this wide since Mike Browning first incantated the Urilia text on the intro to Morbid Angel's first recorded full-length studio LP record from 1986. Heck, even Bill and Melinda are considering adopting new surnames out of sheer and utter respect in the wake of this EP and its Poseidon riffs contained therein.

Trifecta-rounder and portal-closer "Into the Shivering Forest" is a song about entering the steep and icy glades at Sugarloaf Mountain in the Carrabasset Valley in the northeastern sector of New England (the region H.P. Lovecraft hailz from, no coincidence for sure), truly a task not for the faint of heart. And listening to this song on any medium is truly a task not for the faint of art, for this song is arguably the most diverse and potent craft these young bloodmonks hath ever spawned upon our hungry ears. Long and whirling, yet direct in its attack, this is the perfect battle-hymn to ride into the steeps of certain doom as you realize that imminent death is the only truth and nothing else is real. All five members of the horde really shine on this one, and their cacophonous necroharmony was never more readily apparent. If you hear one song from this band, make it this one.

The production on this EP is a bit polished and dry for my taste, but this does nothing to detract from the music itself and it is evident that there is no pro-tools ***ery or unnecessary dildonics going on behind the mixing desk as is such common practice in today's "music industry". Gone is the delicious murky reverb-drenched muck of the debut EP from 2016, and in its place is a clean, crisp reflection of the band's true talents and above-par technical abilities and musicianship that was already evident on the debut and is even more front-and-center on this release.

As far as the physical release is concerned, the CD packaging and layout is gorgeous and you would think it was laid out by a spiritual gangster from Boston Mass with how professional and sharp it looks, feels, and withstands apocalypses.

If the Interdimensional Orifice on the front cover (beatifically hand-drawn by the legendary Philippine enigma known only as "Infernvz") isn't enough to "suck you in", this fresh slice of organically-crafted Magmic Riffage and Deadly Drummz will certainly chew you up and spit you out quicker than a white kid who wound up in Roxbury



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user ratings (28)
Chart.
3.9
excellent

Comments:Add a Comment 
pissbore
May 23rd 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

was hoping someone else would get around to it but this thing really needed a review and i had some downthyme so i figured i would give it a go

Darius
May 23rd 2018


17115 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Carroted

Spacesh1p
May 23rd 2018


7646 Comments


Thank you for your service pissbro

pissbore
May 23rd 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

just doin the lord'z work m8

pissbore
May 23rd 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

for real though people need 2 hear this

brainmelter
May 23rd 2018


5676 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Thank you for your service[2]

Digging: Banana Head - Phones the Public

pissbore
May 24th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

so did i make staff or what

ScuroFantasma
Staff Reviewer
May 24th 2018


11514 Comments


Really dug their other album, need to get on this

Digging: Kamni - A.T.O.M.

Spacesh1p
May 24th 2018


7646 Comments


Om blatho

pissbore
May 29th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Idk why everybody is sleeping on this

botb
May 29th 2018


11770 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Stoked this got a review. Shit rips

pissbore
May 29th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

bump

pissbore
May 31st 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

grab a copy before they sell out

pissbore
June 4th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

bump

Spacesh1p
June 4th 2018


7646 Comments


bump

pissbore
June 4th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/blasphermation

pissbore
June 13th 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

who's ready to rock

RippingCorpse1986
June 20th 2018


2568 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Really dig this, might even bump my rating to a 4.5, idk.

The 13-minute opener is definitely my favorite part off this EP.

Digging: Skeletonwitch - Devouring Radiant Light

pissbore
June 21st 2018


12726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

grab a CD while they last bro

necropig
July 11th 2018


4315 Comments


Carrotcore

Digging: Runemagick - Evoked From Abysmal Sleep



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