My Penis Is Made of Dogshit
Eternal Cuck


1.5
very poor

Review

by Dalton DuBois USER (12 Reviews)
November 27th, 2017 | 40 replies


Release Date: 2016 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Conceptual dogshit is still dogshit

When a project revolves entirely around its concept, it always runs the risk of the actual musical output being subpar and playing second fiddle to the artist’s intentions. This is entirely the case with ‘My Penis Is Made of Dogshit’ and their album 'Eternal Cuck', as any entertaining jazzy shenanigans are quickly cast aside for laughable narration, poorly written harsh noise, and random songwriting decisions for the sake of only being experimental.

What makes this release all the more infuriating is that there’s genuine potential here; “Ketamine Tampon” is a lovely acoustic interlude with some alluring and natural fingerpicking, while “Glenn Frey Is Dead But There Are Still Too Many Living Eagles (Live In Las Vegas)” is an entertaining Lo-Fi Jazz jam. However, any well-intentioned will this release produced manages to shatter like glass the second the band tries to do anything that isn’t a jazz or string instrumental. “You’ll Never Be Able To Hear This Song On Spotify” should have been retitled to “Baby’s First Black Metal Attempt”, and is of such low quality and likability that even the black metal project ‘Forest of Harambe’ has higher value, with a guitar tone that sounds like a meat covered buzz-saw trapped inside of a sexually ambiguous washing machine from the 1980s. Whenever songs aren’t attempting to veer into genres unknown, they’re simply just unappealing noise; “The Metaphysical Concept Of Satan Rapes Itself In Order To Abort An Infinitely Wide-Ass Fetus That Terminally Erotic-Asphyxiates The World” is just a literal room tone recording with random metallic jargon thrown in haphazardly.

All in all, ‘My Penis Is Dogshit’ is a perfect example of what happens when talented musicians try so hard to be on the cutting edge of ironic humor that the actual product suffers beyond repair. Hopefully the people behind this project will work on something serious, and perhaps release a quaint little instrumental album. Until then, we have a discography of relatively tame, and unfunny pseudo-meme garbage.



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user ratings (8)
2.1
poor


Comments:Add a Comment 
BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

https://mypenisismadeofdogshit.bandcamp.com/album/eternal-cuck

Don't ask me why I reviewed this, I don't know the answer either. Anyways, this was just a short little review I felt like doing. Also damn, not many reviews being submitted lately, my review from two days ago is still on the front page.

Piglet
November 27th 2017


8476 Comments


glad someone finally made an album title which can accurately reflect the main demographic here

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
November 27th 2017


32020 Comments


What in the flying fuck?

Pos.

Frippertronics
Emeritus
November 27th 2017


19513 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

please stop listening to memes

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Apparently this dude has like seven albums, and I'm thinking of adding them all to the database.

Frippertronics
Emeritus
November 27th 2017


19513 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Did I stutter?

Futures
November 27th 2017


10465 Comments


is this your side project?

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

This is still better than Snide Remarks though.

@Futures: This isn't my side project it's some dude from New York.

Futures
November 27th 2017


10465 Comments


hmm not sold on that

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

"hmm not sold on that"

This dude has like ten releases before this one, you know how much I love attention. If it was my side project, I would have posted it on here the second that it was complete.

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
November 27th 2017


26081 Comments


"This is still better than Snide Remarks though." lolol

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

You know, even though this album is really bad, "Kendrick Lamar Is Boring" is a pretty accurate song title tbh.

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

You're definitely making some mayhem with them comments there bud.

Drifter
November 27th 2017


20822 Comments


"You know, even though this album is really bad, "Kendrick Lamar Is Boring" is a pretty accurate song title tbh"

Snide...i love you... but what the fuck

SteakByrnes
November 27th 2017


29745 Comments


#BringBacktheSnideAccount

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

@Drifter: I knew it was only a matter of time until we disagreed on something (it's karma for us being two of the few people on this site to enjoy the Dead Money DLC)

@Steak: I don't have access to my Snide account anymore sadly, tried to recover it and couldn't. So I'm starting fresh on Thumbnail.

TVC15
November 27th 2017


11372 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I AM GOD

Drifter
November 27th 2017


20822 Comments


What is a Davie vanity

SteakByrnes
November 27th 2017


29745 Comments


Damn, that sucks that you couldn't recover your account. Glad to see you writing tho, even if it's for stuff like this

BlackMalachite
November 27th 2017


3711 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I'm going to write reviews for non-meme stuff as well, I figured I'd just warm up for those with some fun negative reviews.



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