Review Summary: Ass ketchup for the millennial turd
St. Vincent’s new album is out this week, making for a momentous day for boring hipster sh/tsticks across this haunted globe, and as always, yours truly was granted access to an exclusive interview, seeing as how I am the premier music critic across said haunted globe. Enjoy.
Dsclmr -- All quotes are real and were taken one way or another from the lawless zone of the Interwebs.
Ms. Vincent, what’s your opinion on pop culture and eyebrows?
I've always been pretty ravenous about pop culture, highbrow and lowbrow.
Yes yes, quite nice. Tell me, what comes to your fevered incontinent mind when you look at the sky?
I remember looking at the sky and thinking that the universe is so big and it's all chaos. I call it 'the dark fear.' At any moment, the dark fear could come in.
Seems a bit racist, but alright. If it isn’t too much trouble, could you give our readers a whole bunch of pointlessly trite quotes about loving to play guitar and how it shaped you as a human?
I started playing guitar when I was 12 and probably from that age knew that I wanted to make music and make my own music. Playing with other bands like the Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens was more like an apprenticeship for me than anything.
I was always just kind of obsessed with guitar, even before I started playing.
Guitar is just something I can do. So much of it now is muscle memory, just instinct.
I just love playing guitar, so that's what I'm going to do
I guess trying to throw my body into the guitar is so natural for me that I don't even know how to explain it. I can't imagine life without it.
Great, just great. Any comment on the fact that you dress like a brainsick homeless jester from the court of a bipolar inbred king who doesn’t understand what human life is?
In regards to being a fashion aficionado, there's a certain amount of taking yourself seriously in the professional world. The self-effacing person can't completely go down the serious road. But I design, and love when things are beautiful.
Fashion aficionado isn’t what I said, but fine. Please tell us, do you think life is challenging and is music the easy part?
Life can be challenging and sad... but music is the easy part.
Hmm, indeed. Hipsters love to multi-task, don’t they? Painters who are also mechanics, acrobats who are also doulas, unemployed poets who also build birdhouses out of toenail clippings. What other inane *** do you do when not recording your ‘music?’
I'm unqualified to do anything other than music.
A rare spot of clarity, I’d say. What hyper-pretentious unnecessary obscure Japanese political didactic lectures do you listen to in your spare time?
To be honest, because there's loud music in my ears probably three hours a day, between sound check and the show, I listen to podcasts more than I listen to music on the road.
Awesome sauce. Let’s talk about feminism in the modern age.
Musically, I have more things in common with tons of bands that have no female members.
Do you? Do you though? Because the male bands you have things in common with seem to have a lot of things in common with bands that have solely female members. Thoughts?
I think human beings have a really broad spectrum of traits, and I almost feel implicated when we say, 'Men are like this, women are like this.' Nobody was telling me, 'Don't get dirty, don't play in the mud, girls don't do that.'
I’m definitely catching some sort of spectrum from this conversation. To wrap things up, could you mention Eastern religion once, because douchebags like you seem to have a quota of citing Buddhist scripture as a way of life, because the Buddhists are doing so well worldwide, right?
I grew up around a lot of various religions, so it's a part of my consciousness in a way. Everything from heavy Catholicism to followers of Indian spiritual masters to Unitarian universalists - all in one family. Though the family aspect was stronger than any particular dogma.
Great. I hope I never have to look at your adorable mug again. Have fun bashing people over the head with a digital flugelhorn for a living. Cheerio!
I was a lusty kid who loved Tennessee Williams.
Ugh.
