LCD Soundsystem
American Dream


2.5
average

Review

by CompostCompote USER (34 Reviews)
September 3rd, 2017 | 18 replies


Release Date: 2017 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Find a musician you loathe, and give him your f*cking money, chum.

Let me tell you a little about myself. Until three days ago, I was a headmaster at a posh polytechnic school for the young and gifted. Why did I get fired, might you ask" I’ll tell ya if you shut up for a second.

I kept getting complaints from the teachers that there was a vagrant sleeping on school grounds, and that the rose garden would have empty bottles and junkie works scattered about. After a thorough investigation, I’d found out that the vagrant was me. That’s not why I got fired though. The school was decommissioned on account of young people getting less gifted by the minute, all the while somehow becoming more special in their own minds. Strange stuff, I tell ya.

After the school was closed, all its contents were auctioned off. There were barrel-loads of pointless poshness strewn about everywhere – spools of Burberry, paintings of Jesus schlepping a hunk of wood someplace, slip-on shoes to wear at regattas, pheasants in tweed jackets, a cage full of people all named Dickie Picklington III, Sting. I looked over that expanse of horse***e and thought to myself – to Hell with this nonsense, I’m going to America, land of ambition and sense, where no bull*** flies!

So I got to Red Hook in Brooklyn and quickly realized that it’s no different, except the posh c*nts in America are even less-read than the limey ones. Still I thought to myself, stiff upper lip, Compost you old chap, you old bum-magnate, you old tiddly plonking wobble-smatter, you old nonce. After three days in Brooklyn, I was coaxed into a disco situation – a song came on, naturally, as they do in disco situations.

By golly, I thought, it’s the Talking Heads except a bit shit. Then another song came on.
By golly, I thought, it’s the Velvet Underground except a bit shit. Wouldn’t you know it, another song came on.
By golly, I thought, it’s Roxy Music except just as shit.

So I fedaddled over to the closest ladywoman and beseeched her – Wench, what is this cacophonous nincompoopery"!

Calm down there, puddner boy, she told me. This here is one of them LCD Soundsystems with the scraggly guy with the laptops and the sofwares and the gobblygooks and whatnot, ya hear.

Suffering Succotash! That accent, that sweat-on-your brow, soot-on-your-hands Americana, where are you from, you wonderful creature" I screamed.

Pakistan, she told me.

We danced the night away and were promptly married.

We sent the bloke from LCD Soundsystem an invitation with a hand-written note that said – Your music brought us together, come to our house and eat a chicken or something.

When he showed up to the address, which was in fact an abandoned condom factory, we pushed him in and barricaded the door and threw piranhas in through the windows. It was the most wonderful ceremony.

In summary, you know that saying they mutter about things of beauty sometimes – When they made you, they broke the mold. Well, when they made LCD Soundsystem, they put that mold back into the discount bin at Wal-Mart.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
CompostCompote
September 3rd 2017


915 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

LED Soundsystem

BlackwaterPork
September 3rd 2017


4170 Comments


Haha I knew this was coming, pos for the laughs.

Digging: Nine Inch Nails - Bad Witch

Satellite
September 3rd 2017


25790 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

how the shit are you not staff yet

CompostCompote
September 3rd 2017


915 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Beats me, Satellite, old pal.

BlushfulHippocrene
Contributing Reviewer
September 3rd 2017


2428 Comments


Oh, Compost... You remind me of a young Rodney Dangerfield.

Digging: McCafferty - Sum of All Fears

CompostCompote
September 3rd 2017


915 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Aw, you sweet-talking bastard, you're melting this crusty old heart.

TumsFestival
September 3rd 2017


2440 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Oh Compost, seeing my internet username next to your internet username under the reviews tab for this album is better than any game of catch a son has had with his dad. Cheers and a pos!

SteakByrnes
September 3rd 2017


12260 Comments


Are you ever gonna review an album that you like?

Digging: Night Verses - From the Gallery of Sleep

CompostCompote
September 3rd 2017


915 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I do it all the time. As my real self, friend.

butcherboy
Contributing Reviewer
September 3rd 2017


8218 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5 | Sound Off

6 out of 10 dentists recommend this review..

SteakByrnes
September 3rd 2017


12260 Comments


Ok Compost, love you friend

Divaman
September 3rd 2017


2467 Comments


Let me know when the videographer finishes the wedding tapes. I'd really like to see them!

Digging: CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead

Toad
September 3rd 2017


1966 Comments


SMASH THAT MOFUKIN SUPSCRIPE BUTTON

DoofusWainwright
September 4th 2017


20000 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Still no one knows who Compost is? Well played, genuine mystery on sput is rare.



Liked the review, you're mulching on me Compost.

teamster
September 4th 2017


2836 Comments


and who says you can't find love...?

Digging: The Ever Living - HEREPHEMINE

CompostCompote
September 4th 2017


915 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

CompostCompote spelled backwards is thgirwniaWsufooD.

solongatlast
September 4th 2017


315 Comments


Who would neg this.

owen
September 5th 2017


5131 Comments


good review burgess

Digging: Imperial Triumphant - Vile Luxury



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