Review Summary: Another Warrant album. Yay.
To be honest, the moment I put the last period at the end of my review for the latest (at the time) Warrant album,
Rockaholic, I genuinely believed that it concluded my acquaintance with this decent but unspectacular band for good. Now I could move on to more interesting (at least, to this reviewer) albums, having dabbled in my humble creative attempts. So imagine my surprise when Warrant announced the impending release of their new effort. It would not be an overexaggeration to say my pants were full, but certainly not with joy. Unfortunately, it is in my nature to finish everything I’ve started, and since I reviewed their discography, it meant that with a new album released I had to listen to it and write another review. And so I mustered all my willpower, and now I’m ready to present to you Warrant album No. 9,
Louder Harder Faster. Yay.
If those reading this review are familiar with the band – be it through individual songs (
Cherry Pie, anyone?) or even (gasp!) some of the albums – then there’s not much new that I can tell you about them. Moreover, what sort of freshness can we expect from Warrant on their ninth LP? The correct answer is none whatsoever. The thing is, they never had any artistic ambitions (except for
Dog Eat Dog, maybe), and whatever you do, that’s not going to change. On the other hand, if you crave something ambitious, then you came to the wrong place, and you’d better head over to the progressive side, for instance. People say that over there, ambition is delivered in barrels, and it comes in all different kinds of flavors. Moreover, they always cadge for second helpings of it. You know, over there they have healthy appetites, pink cheeks, well-fed faces – just a sight to behold. And what about Warrant? The scale is a lot smaller, of course. All they want is beer, girls and powders or pills – you know, for the heart or prostate, since they’re not getting any younger. As for the music, not much has changed since they graduated from 80s music school as mediocre students, with all this entails.
Say, they want to sing about broken hearts, bad girls, or simply rocking some godforsaken hole. Well, go ahead, my good gents, it’s not like we’re against it. Hell, sometimes we’re even for that. You know, it’s nice to just seat and listen, reminiscing about better days or that first love whose hair you pulled during recess. Sorry, got tears coming to my eyes. And Warrant, those sly dogs, they go ahead and sing. Right out of the mouth, nonetheless. That voice that comes out of the mouth, I will not deny it, is fine – fairly faceless, but solid and reliable. Surprisingly, the guitars actually play something too; fingers fly between notes and even churn out a solo or two. I suppose the guitarists tried their best, maybe even stuck their tongues out from all the effort. Occasionally, they even manage to produce something sort of interesting, if not upbeat. Well, I’ll be honest with my audience: that damn leg of mine sometimes tended to tap a little, although you try to stop it since people may not understand. You see, everybody is an esthete now; when they hear this kind of simple hard rock, they immediately make a sour face, and some even try to pinch their noses with two fingers. Such is the times we live in. And what about the album, you might ask? Is it any good? Well, you know the answer yourselves. And you would be right, go on and get yourself a cookie. It is nondescript, solid and predictable – everyone can select their own favorite keyword.
However, since I’m trying to write a review here, I’ll attempt to be more objective. You see,
Louder Harder Faster ended up being better than its predecessor. If I recall correctly, that album got a very generous 2 from me, and the way I see it, it was deservingly so. Whereas here, even if everything is of the same ilk, it is somehow louder, harder, and – you guessed it – faster. True to the album title. If you have a craving for or are nostalgic about the 80s, then listen to this. It’s not going to make it worse for anybody. Although, I cannot guarantee it’s going to do the opposite, either.
